“It’s ridiculous anyone—let alone a parent—would expect you to give up a scholarship.”
“That’s why I didn’t. I feel bad for the situation I left behind, though. Especially for my little sister. Maggie’s last two years of high school were rough. We suspect my mom had been cheating for a while, but when Dad spiraled, she became less discreet. Like, she wanted to get caught, never considering the consequences. The guy was another teacher at the high school.”
“Oh shit,” Kira said.
“Yeah. His wife was also a teacher. He taught biology. She was the only art teacher. The middle school and high school campuses were right next to each other, and one day, my dad decided to surprise my mom with a fancy takeout lunch as an apology for the ugly fight they’d had the night before. I guess it was bad, but not nearly as ugly as what happened when my dad walked in on my mom and the biology teacher having sex in her classroom.
“She’d locked the door and the lights were out, but my dad had a key. He told the police he’d used it so he could set up the meal with a tablecloth and flowers. The biology teacher was hospitalized. Broken bones. Internal bleeding. Dad was arrested and fired. Mom and the other teacher were suspended. No one could prove they were having sex, or they’d have been fired too.
“My mom left my dad, but stayed at the house until he was released from jail, then she rented a studio apartment. No room for Maggie, who not only had to live with our messed-up dad as he awaited trial, she also had another year at the same high school where our parents had very publicly imploded. Fortunately, she’d already taken biology, but art was out as an elective.”
“That must have been so awful for her.”
“I lived three hundred miles away. Maggie took the train to see me at school as much as possible her senior year.”
“Did your dad go to prison?”
“He ended up plea bargaining down to three months’ jail plus community service. My mom moved back to be with Maggie while he was locked up, but things were strained between Maggie and Mom too. Mom kept trying to blame everything on Dad, Vietnam, and…me. Yes, all those played a role, but so did she. The fact that she never told us about Dad’s panic attacks, that she chose to cheat instead of dealing with their issues, she never shouldered any of it. After Maggie graduated high school, our mom submitted her resignation to the school district and left. Graduation day was the last time Maggie and I saw her.”
“I’m so sorry, Rand. Do you know what happened to her?”
“She moved to a double-wide on the Gulf coast of Florida, but died of lung cancer before my niece was born. I like to think she’d have shown up for Maggie then if she’d been alive.”
“And your dad? What did he do after jail?”
“He lived off social security and his teacher’s pension and drank. He died of liver failure not long after Mom passed.”
It was such a painful story, but for her, the most shocking part was their mother’s abandonment, when it was the father who’d been the violent alcoholic. There must’ve been a lot his mom hadn’t shared for her to turn her back on her children without a word.
It raised questions about her own mother’s choice to abandon Reuben, but right now, her focus was on Rand.
“I’m so sorry.”
He gave her a grim smile. “I work hard to remember the good times. At least, the times that were good for Maggie and me. We were loved. Maybe things would have been different if Dad had gotten support from the VA.” He smiled again, and this time, it wasn’t pained. “He was sober for my graduation. And he said he was proud when I made it through BUD/S. He let go of his anger at me for not living his baseball dreams. We got along during his last years. He would clean up when needed. He attended Maggie’s wedding. He didn’t walk her down the aisle—we couldn’t be certain he wouldn’t be too drunk to walk—so I did. But he was there in the front row, and he was happy and sober.”
“It sounds like you found peace with him in the end.”
“Yeah. Maggie did too.” He was silent for a bit, then said, “He told me one night in his last year that the reason he freaked about me joining the military and wanting to be in the SEALs was he knew they’d make me into a killer. Like they did him. And he never wanted that for me. Couldn’t understand why I’d choose it. I think about that a lot. And he’s not wrong. I have killed. I wasn’t forced into this job. I wanted it. Fought for it. Thought I was going to die several times in the process of getting it, but I refused to ring out. Dad would have done anything to be allowed to quit.”
“Thank you. For telling me, I mean. I can’t wait to meet your sister.”
He scooped her up and rolled to his back again, so she was on top of him. “I can’t wait for that too. She knows about you.” He kissed her collarbone.
“Because of the dedication?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. She had questions.”
“Who are you going to dedicate the next book to?”
“Probably my niece. Or maybe Freya. She introduced us, after all.”
“I’ve never thanked her for that.”
“Me neither. I was too busy trying to play it cool and not let on I was obsessed with you.” His mouth explored her neck and shoulder.
“She saw right through us,” she said.
“Well, that’s Freya. It’s kind of her superpower.”
“One among many.”
“Does she scare you as much as she does me?”
Kira burst out laughing. “Oh my god…the day we met, I was so freaked out about seeing her—it had been a few months and the timing was last minute, no time to mentally prepare, and she always terrified me. And then there was Ian and you, and I get flustered around attractive men. I was hopeless.”
“You were hot and adorable. But I’m going to ignore that thing you said about Ian.”
“He’s objectively attractive. You’d have to be blind not to notice. And Freya doesn’t scare me so much now. At least, I don’t think she will.” She kissed his chest, then turned her cheek and rested her head, closing her eyes. “I’m looking forward to seeing her after this.”
He chuckled. “As long as it’s Freya and not Ian you’re eager to see.”
“Oh, I always enjoy seeing him. But that’s generic. If it makes a difference, I never once tried to imagine him naked like I did you.”
“Do I live up to your imagination?”
“You tell me. Remember what happened when I saw you shirtless the first time?”
“It’s one of my favorite memories of all time.”
