As we have reviewed Washington’s impact as a leader and his leadership principles, we are in a better place to understand the interconnection between the First Inaugural Address on April 30, 1789 and his first Thanksgiving Proclamation of October 3, 1789. In the first, he appealed to the “sacred fire of liberty” that had been entrusted to the American people in their “experiment” in representative government. In the second, he told the new nation how to fan the “sacred fire of liberty” so that it might burn even more brightly. His proposed method was by acknowledging the Providence of Almighty God and humbly imploring his blessing on the nation. Such words would have been most appropriate coming from the lips of a chaplain or a preacher from his pulpit. Yet it is striking just how naturally they came from George Washington as he assumed his pulpit of the presidency as American’s first godly leader. Washington had indeed “turned preacher after all.”⁷⁴

TWELVE

George Washington’s Family Life

“I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery.”

George Washington, May 23, 1785

¹

George Washington was self consciously a family man. His extended family spread throughout Virginia,² and he knew that his ancestry went back into the prior centuries of English history.³ As a soldier, he had a military “family.”⁴ His presidential staff constituted a “family.”⁵ His slaves and servants,⁶ the tutors for his children,⁷ and the helpers in his home were all part of his “family.”⁸ With other “philanthropists,” he was concerned for “the happiness of the great family of mankind.”⁹ No wonder George and Martha decided at one point that the size of their “family” had gotten large enough.¹⁰

But most important to Washington was his own family. He took pleasure in family life¹¹ and in being with his family.¹² In the midst of his busy public life, he sought to keep family responsibilities¹³ and matters in mind.¹⁴ When he left to lead the Revolution, he knew his goodbye to his family could have been his last.¹⁵ This prompted him to commit his life and his family to the care of Providence¹⁶ and to the family network that surrounded them.¹⁷

Because of his lengthy absences from home, he deeply valued mail from his family¹⁸ and the support of his close relations.¹⁹ He was authentically concerned for his brothers, relatives and their children’s education.²⁰ And, like most families, Washington worried about family finances, not only for his own home,²¹ but also for his aging widowed mother, who needed his financial support.²² He personally composed his last will and testament carefully, recognizing individual members of his family, including his adopted grandchildren, “the two whom we have reared from their earliest infancy, namely: Eleanor Parke Custis, and George Washington Parke Custis” as well as his “dearly beloved wife Martha Washington.”²³

In Washington’s era, the fragility of life, coupled with the primitive state of medical care, raised the constant concern of the family’s health²⁴ and the constant threat of an unexpected death in the family.²⁵ The youthful Washington had been confident of his physical strength,²⁶ but soon the toll of warfare made him not so sure.²⁷ The aging President thought death was never far away.²⁸ His letters often commented on the various states of health found in his family²⁹ or when the tragedy of death struck.³⁰

While death was all too frequent, divorce was almost unknown. The word “divorce” never appears in all of Washington’s writings. He was certainly aware that an “unhappy marriage”³¹ could occur, which prompted him to give sage advice to his younger family members³² or to explain why he hoped to postpone a marriage of his children, even if the proposed marriage seemed like a good match.³³ He even indulged in an occasional aside, prompted by a surprising match or humorous appearance of newlyweds he knew.³⁴ He frequently commented on the news of weddings or joyfully extended his congratulations to newlyweds.³⁵ Washington summarized his premarital counseling wisdom in a letter to his brother-in-law Burwell Bassett, as a wedding in the Washington family was beginning to take shape,

It has ever been a maxim with me thro’ life, neither to promote, nor to prevent a matrimonial connection, unless there should be something indispensably requiring interference in the latter. I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery. To be instrumental therefore in bringing two people together who are indifferent to each other, and may soon become objects of hatred; or to prevent a union which is prompted by mutual esteem and affection, is what I never could reconcile to my feelings; and therefore, neither directly nor indirectly have I ever said a syllable to Fanny or George upon the subject of their intended connexion. But as their attachment to each other seems to have been early formed, warm and lasting, it bids fair to be happy: if therefore you have no objection, I think the sooner it is consummated the better.³⁶

At any rate, knowing something about the Washington family life helps us to address Washington’s religious beliefs. To give us an introductory overview and enable us to keep track of his family life, we present the following chronological summary of some of the key events in George and Martha’s family life.

THE FAMILY CHRONOLOGY OF GEORGE AND MARTHA WASHINGTON

1731

June 2 —- Martha Dandridge [Custis, Washington] was born.

1732

February 22 (old style, February 11) – George Washington was born at Bridges Creek, Westmoreland County, Virginia. Father: Augustine Washington; Mother: Mary Ball.

April 3 —- George Washington baptized.

1738

December 1 —- Washington family moved to Ferry Farm on the other side of the Rappahannock River from Fredericksburg.

1743

April 12 —- George’s father, Augustine, died. George’s older half-brother, Lawrence, inherited his father’s Hunting Creek farm, which he renamed Mount Vernon in honor of his military commander. George received Ferry Farm, but it was under his mother’s control until he came of age.

July 19 — Lawrence married Anne Fairfax, and so married into the wealthy family that possessed the vast tract of Virginia called the Northern Neck (which today encompasses a vast section of northern Virginia.).

1746

September —- George was encouraged by Lawrence to join the British Navy. After Mary Washington objected, he did not proceed, although he had his commission.

1747

George, having completed his formal schooling, began to live with his brother Lawrence at Mount Vernon and began to learn surveying.

1748

March-April —- Accompanied George William Fairfax on a month long surveying trip of Lord Fairfax’s lands in the Shenandoah Valley, experiencing the frontier and the Indians for the first time.

December 17 — George William Fairfax married eighteen-year-old Sarah (“Sally”) Cary, who became a friend to George.

1749

Martha Dandridge married wealthy Virginian, Daniel Parke Custis. George appointed official surveyor of Culpepper County, Virginia.

1750

October 16 —- George bought a tract of land in the Shenandoah and so began his lifelong business of land acquisition.

1751

September 28 —- Traveled to Barbados with Lawrence, who was seeking relief from tuberculosis.

November 17 —- December 12 —- George’s Diary recorded, “Was strongly attacked with the small Pox.”³⁷

1752

January 26 —- George arrived safely back in Virginia

July 26 —- Lawrence died, leaving Mount Vernon to George, if Anne Fairfax Washington died without children.

September 1 —- George joined the Fredericksburg Masonic Lodge