In addressing these arguments, we will discover that some of the strongest testimony for Washington’s Christianity comes directly from his family. This evidence has generally been ignored, overlooked, or suppressed by those who claim that Washington was a Deist.
MARY WASHINGTON: WASHINGTON’S MOTHER
Mary Washington was a commanding figure in her own right. By personal traits and personal circumstances, as a young widowed mother of five children, she, by necessity, became a dominating force in her family.45 George’s older cousin Lawrence Washington, of Chotank (1728-1813), one of his childhood friends, gave a compelling description of his Aunt Mary,
I was often there with George, his playmate, schoolmate, and young man’s companion. Of the mother I was ten times more afraid than I ever was of my own parents. She awed me in the midst of her kindness, for she was, indeed, truly kind. I have often been present with her sons, proper tall fellows too, and we were all as mute as mice; and even now, when time has whitened my locks, and I am the grand-parent of a second generation, I could not behold that remarkable woman without feelings it is impossible to describe. Whoever has seen that awe-inspiring air and manner so characteristic in the Father of his Country, will remember the matron as she appeared when [she was] the presiding genius of her well-ordered household, commanding and being obeyed.46
Mary Washington was a commanding presence, indeed.
Washington scholar Willard Sterne Randall (writing in 1997) apparently does not share Lawrence Washington’s reverence for Mary Washington, since he gives her one of the least flattering descriptions we have encountered. Randall writes, “Once he left his Bible-thumping mother’s household he may never have taken Anglican communion again.”47
How Randall can legitimately call her by this disrespectful title is not clear, since he provides no written evidence to substantiate his claim. Moreover, given the fact that the epithet “Bible-thumping” is a pejorative and prejudicial word, it would be difficult to label that description a scholarly one. Even if the criticism might be inferred from the fact that Christian materials were used to train George as a child, then the same criticism would have to be targeted toward George’s father and older brother Lawrence as well, since in the chapter on Washington’s education, we saw how both his father and his mother provided Christian educational materials for George. We might as well say that George came from a “Bible-thumping” family.
In a later chapter, we will discuss the question of whether Washington communed in the Anglican tradition or in other Christian contexts, which he sometimes did (as we shall see). What concerns us here most, however, is the possible implication from Randall’s derogatory description of Mary Washington that Washington rejected his mother’s faith. Did Washington reject his mother’s faith? If scholarship requires written sources to corroborate a scholar’s claim, the answer is a resounding “no.” There is not a shred of evidence wherein Washington ever claimed to distance himself from the religious tradition in which he was raised. So, as we pursue a scholarly answer to the question of whether Washington abandoned his childhood faith, let us begin by considering the faith of Mary Washington herself.
Mary Washington’s strength of character was spiritually motivated. Her last will and testament, for example, reflected her Christian faith, which was anything but perfunctory, even though the words of her last will and testament reflected a common pattern found also in the short form of a will that young George had copied
In the name of God, Amen. I, Mary Washington, of Fredericksburg, in the county of Spotsylvania, being in good health, but calling to mind the uncertainty of this life, and being willing to dispose of what remains of my earthy estate, do make and publish this, my last Will, recommending my soul into the hands of my Creator, hoping for remission of all my sins through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ, the Saviour of mankind.48
What was Washington’s attitude toward his Christian mother? The written evidence makes it abundantly clear that George was always respectful of his mother and openly expressed his love for his brothers and sisters. Consider this letter written by young Col. Washington, only weeks before the disastrous battle that cost General Braddock his life:
Honour’d Madam: I came to this place last Saturday, and shall set out tomorrow with the General for Wills Creek; where I fear we shall wait some time for a sufficient number of Waggons to transport us over the Mountains.
I am very happy in the General’s Family and I am treated with a complaisant Freedom which is quite agreeable; so that I have no occasion to doubt the satisfaction I propos’d in making the Campaigne.
As we have met with nothing yet worth relating I shall only beg my Love to my Brother’s and Sister’s; and Compliments to Friends.
I am, Honour’d Madam,
Yr. most Dutiful and Obedt. Son.49
He also openly expressed his affection for her in word and deed. Consider the conclusion he penned to his letter to her dated February 15, 1787. His words are “your most dutiful and affectionate Son.” He began with “Honored Madam.” The letter dated February 14, 1787, to Charles Washington shows the kind of love that Mary Washington instilled in her family for one another. 50 His concluding words here are, “I am ever yours” words that Washington elsewhere reserves for his dear friend Lafayette.51 He adds the P. S., “My love in which Mrs. Washington joins to my sister and the family.” Mary Washington’s family seemed to be quite affectionate, for all of her alleged overbearing spirituality. There is only one known extant letter that Mary Washington wrote to George. It was signed “I am my dear George your loving and affectionate mother.”52
An example of Washington’s warm greetings to his family members, followed by a letter to his mother.
At news of his brother Charles’ wedding plans, he wrote to his mother in 1757. He began with the salutation “Honored Madam” and concluded with the words, “I offer my love to Charles and am honored madam, your most dutiful and affectionate Son.”53 Even when Washington had to address several sensitive, financial issues with his mother in 1787, he used very similar language.54 When he responded to the congratulations of the leaders of Fredericksburg at the end of the war in 1784, he honored her when he wrote, “...my revered Mother, by whose maternal hand (early deprived of a father) I was led from childhood.”55
In many ways, George was much like his mother in that both had an intense concern for personal privacy and a deep concern for financial resources. For example, Mary Washington somehow engineered the House of Burgesses to consider providing her a pension from the state of Virginia during the War, while Washington was out of state. An embarrassed Washington wrote to the Burgesses and put a stop to the discussion, declaring, “...all of us, I am certain, would feel much hurt, at having our mother a pensioner, while we had the means of supporting her.”56
While financial issues and a strong desire for privacy by Mary Washington may have strained their relationship at times,57 they maintained a close enough relationship that allowed George to have close friend Lafayette visit her and converse with her in her role as the General’s mother.58 George Washington’s records show that he not only visited her,59 but he rode to see her sometimes on the coldest winter days.60 He stopped at her home when traveling.61
History also records his emotional farewell visit to his mother when she was dying from cancer as he was leaving to assume the presidency.62 His words at Mary’s death were reflective of his respect, faith, and love for her:
Awful, and affecting as the death of a Parent is, there is a consolation in knowing, that Heaven has spared her to an age, beyond which few attain, and favored her with the full enjoyment of her mental faculties, and as much bodily strength as usually falls to the lot of fourscore. Under these considerations and a hope that she is translated to a happier place, it is the duty of her relatives to yield due submission to the decrees of the Creator. When I was last at Fredericksburg, I took a final leave of my Mother never expecting to see her more.63
As we conclude this section, let us summarize what we have discovered from the evidence found in their rather limited correspondence and records. Mary Washington was a widow who reared five children as a single mother. George, her firstborn son, called her his “revered mother,” throughout his life and addressed her as “honored Madam.” He cared for her both from affection and from a sense of duty as a son. She clearly managed her children from a place of authority rather than intimacy, although she openly expressed her love for her children. This was unlike George’s and Martha’s style of parenting, since the letters of their children, as we will see below, reveal that they were called “pappa” and “dearest mamma.”
Washington, although busy and under great responsibilities, willingly sacrificed his time, comfort, and resources to meet her legitimate needs. He respectfully and even pointedly disagreed with her when he felt he must. When she grew elderly, he urged her to move in with one of her children,64 including into his home, yet he openly pointed out why Mount Vernon would never be a place of refuge for her, given her strong desire for privacy, peace, and quiet.
He wrote to her of Mount Vernon, “For in truth it may be compared to a well resorted tavern, as scarcely any strangers who are going from north to south, or from south to north, do not spend a day or two at it.”65 Yet their disagreements did not keep him from visiting her in his hometown of Fredericksburg and worshiping with her there at St. George’s Episcopal Church.66
Even when he became renowned, Washington did not hide his mother from his illustrious friends. He made sure that he said his last farewell to her, knowing that her declining health and his serving as president in New York almost surely meant she would die while he was gone. He openly wrote of his grief when he learned the news of her passing. He never left a written hint that he had rejected the Christian faith that she had taught him. Instead, he continued to worship in and at times to lead the church of his childhood in which his mother and father had baptized him, the Anglican Church.
Throughout his single and married life, he openly communicated his love and sincere affection to his siblings and their families—-siblings that he, as Mary Washington’s first born son, had had a role in caring for after his father died,. He even continued her practice of reading sermons to the family and using the Book of Common Prayer in his own family.
The inescapable conclusion is that Washington had a noteworthy and respectable relationship with his mother and the faith of his parents.
MR. AND MRS. GEORGE WASHINGTON
As the French and Indian War came to an end, Washington’s interests turned to his farm and to the new family he would create with the widowed Mrs. Martha Custis.67 The wedding of George and Martha was a glorious affair.68 The marriage of George and Martha gave George a great deal of additional wealth, but also a great deal of additional responsibility.69 Washington wrote to Martha’s uncle, Francis Dandridge, in England in 1765,
Sir: If you will permit me after six years silence, the time I have been married to your Niece, to pay my respects to you in this Epistolary way I shall think myself happy in beginning a correspondence which cannot but be attended with pleasure on my side....I live upon Potomack River in Fairfax County, about ten Miles below Alexandria and many Miles distant from any of my Wife’s Relations; who all reside upon York River, and who we seldom see more than once a year, not always that. My wife who is very well and Master and Miss Custis (Children of her former Marriage) all join in making a tender of their Duty and best respects to yourself and the Aunt.70
Was George and Martha’s marriage just a “marriage of convenience”?71 The evidence indicates it was much more than that. Washington’s concern for Martha is evident in that he referred to “Mrs. Washington” over eight hundred times in his writings.72 The extended Washington family enjoyed a fair amount of intimacy.73 Washington openly expressed his love to his brothers and their families.74 They expressed their love to those in need through acts of compassion.75 For several years, Washington wore a painted miniature locket of Martha and apparently had it on when he died.76
The Washington family in an 1889 lithograph
Daily life for the Washingtons was sometimes a mixture of humor, frustration, and normal activities, as can be seen by consulting a few days in a week from Washington’s diary.77 Washington attempted to get regular exercise, even when in office. This included driving his chariot, riding his horse, or walking.
Washington’s amusements in his family life were varied.78 Consulting his diaries, one finds activities such as: cards,79 theater,80 fox-hunting, fishing, hunting deer, dancing and balls, constant hospitality with friends and guests to Mount Vernon and to the president’s house. There were celebrations and banquets that included Washington’s favorite toast, “All our friends.” Washington’s view of drinking was one of enjoying the “hilarity” of friends but avoiding drunkenness.81 The family took trips and vacations to the springs and to the mountains. Reading books and sermons were also part of the family entertainment. After he was married, he never recorded attending another cock-fight.82
Only two of George and Martha’s letters have survived. The others were destroyed by Martha after George’s death. Martha burned them, thereby preserving the Washingtons’ privacy from future generations. The two surviving letters communicate a spirit of intimacy, both referring to “Providence.” George Washington wrote from Philadelphia on June 18, 1775 (just after receiving the commission from Congress to head up the colonial army), “I shall rely therefore, confidently, on that Providence which has heretofore preserved, and been bountiful to me, not doubting but that I shall return safe to you in the fall...”
George again wrote to Martha from Philadelphia on June 23, 1775, “...I go fully trusting in that Providence, which has been more bountiful to me than I deserve, and in full confidence of happy Meeting with you sometime in the Fall.”
Like her husband, Martha’s letters also mention divine Providence. Writing to Mercy Otis Warren from Valley Forge on March 7, 1778, she says, “...indeed I think providence was very bountiful in her goodness to your state....would bountiful providence aim a like stroke at Genl Howe, the measure of my happiness would be compleat.”83
Writing to Mrs. Elizabeth Powel on January 18, 1788, Martha said, “She is blessed however with a charming family of children, and Providence has been bountiful in giving her resolution and strength of body and mind to be able to undertake the care that have developed upon her.”84
The long absences created by the war required Martha to move to the winter quarters of the army so that they could seek to have a measure of family life in the eight-year-long war.85 Mrs. Washington’s first trip to join her husband was to Cambridge, Massachusetts. She stopped first in Philadelphia, where she wrote to a friend, “I don’t doubt but you have seen the Figure our arrival made in the Philadelphia paper— and I left it in as great pomp as if I had been a very great somebody.”86
By Washington’s own testimony, throughout his life, he was a happily married man. On September 20, 1759, he wrote, “I am now I believe fixed at this Seat [Mount Vernon] with an agreeable Consort [Mrs. Martha Washington] for Life and hope to find more happiness in retirement [from service in the British Army at the end of the French and Indian War] than I ever experienced amidst a wide and bustling World.”87
On June 18, 1775, he wrote, “My Dearest: ...You may believe me, my dear Patsy,... that I should enjoy more real happiness in one month with you at home, than I have the most distant prospect of finding abroad, if my stay were to be seven times seven years.”88 On May 23, 1785, he wrote, “I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery.”89 George did not think he would marry a second time if Martha died before him.90
Martha did not like public life, and had, like her husband, hoped to stay at Mount Vernon after his retirement from the military. Yet, she willingly, if reluctantly, followed.91 She even compared herself at one point to a “state prisoner.”92 But finally, through the help of friends and her own spiritual growth, she was able to make the transition effectively so that she could become a great help to the President in his many responsibilities.93 It was Martha’s practice to keep constantly employed.94
Martha’s faith as a Christian manifested itself especially as she faced the death of her husband95 and of her sister.96 But the death of Patsy, her daughter, was a particular moment of great sorrow and of faith for the entire family. Martha’s son, John Parke Custis, wrote a letter reminding Martha of the Christian faith of the family, and in this way sought to comfort her at the time of the loss of Patsy.97 Washington had expressed his deep concern for the physical sufferings of his stepdaughter Patsy Custis98 and prayed fervently for her as she died. George Washington Parke Custis wrote of Washington’s prayer for Patsy,
Her delicate health, or, perhaps her fond affection for the only father she had ever known, so endeared her to the “general,” that he knelt at her dying bed, and with a passionate burst of tears, prayed aloud that her life might be spared, unconscious that even then her spirit had departed.99
In his “Diary,” Washington wrote: “June 19. At home all day. About five o’clock poor Patsy Custis Died Suddenly.” Writing to Burwell Bassett the next day, he explained the circumstances of Patsy’s death and expressed his belief that, “the Sweet Innocent Girl Entered into a more happy and peaceful abode than any she has met with in the afflicted Path she hitherto has trod.”100
But the ravages of death had not finished their assaults on Martha’s family. She had lost her first husband, her sister, her daughter, and soon it would be her son Jacky as well. Although Jacky’s prayers had been offered for the General’s success,101 he stayed home and married and raised a family. In 1774 Jacky, i.e., John Parke Custis, married Eleanor Calvert, who became the parents of Nelly Parke Custis and George Washington Parke Custis. Near the end of the war in 1781, John Parke Custis served as a civilian aide to General Washington. But on November 5, 1781, he died—less than three weeks after the British surrender at Yorktown. He had contracted camp fever or typhoid at the Battle of Yorktown. His wife, Martha Washington and General Washington were all present when he died. Writing about his father, George Washington Parke Custis stated, “In a little while the poor sufferer expired. Washington, tenderly embracing the bereaved wife and mother, observed to the weeping group around the remains of him he so dearly loved, ‘From this moment I adopt his two youngest children as my own.’”102
