“I didn’t realize it at first. But after talking to Ryland, I had to face some truths about our relationship.”
“Like what?” she asks, looking nervous again.
“Well, for starters, the idea of you carrying some other guy’s baby makes me fucking insane, even if it is someone you don’t know.”
A frown forms on her face. “I don’t understand. Why would that bother you?”
“I don’t know, Elle, but it does. A lot,” I admit, refusing to hold back. “So does the thought of someone else taking your virginity. Quite frankly, I don’t like the thought of any guy in your life besides me.”
A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “So, let me get this straight. You want to have this baby with me so no one else can?”
“No, but it’s those feelings that made me start to consider it,” I tell her truthfully. “The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of having a kid, but it’s something I will only do if it’s with you.”
“Why?” she asks, searching for a deeper answer.
I decide to give it to her, laying it all on the line. “Because you’re the only woman I want in my life forever.”
Her lips curve into another sweet smile, proving it was the right thing to say. “Okay, hypothetically speaking, if we were to do this, how exactly would it work?”
I raise a brow, feeling amusement fill my chest. “I know you’re a virgin and all, Elle, but surely you have some idea how it works.”
Her eyes narrow. “Not that, smart ass. I mean this”—she gestures between us—“us. Are we only going to do it until I get pregnant? Are we going to set aside certain days or are we going to have sex every day? Are you planning on still sleeping with other women? Because if that’s the case, bucko, you better think again.”
Annoyance flashes through me, her last question completely insulting. “First of all, I’d never fuck anyone else while I’m with you. You know me better than that. As for all of your other questions … maybe, no, yes.”
She blinks rapidly, trying to decode that response. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re overthinking this, Elle.” I laugh. “We’re still gonna be us, we’re just adding sex into the mix.”
“You act like this won’t change everything.”
“Oh, it will,” I agree. “But again, so will raising a child together.”
She falls silent, knowing she can’t deny that.
“Tell me one thing,” I press, knowing this will make or break how far I push this. “Have you ever thought about this before? Us, together, like this.”
“Of course I have,” she shrieks, throwing her hands up. “Multiple times, actually.”
That confession sends a jolt straight to my core.
“I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin for god’s sake, Gunnar. Trust me, I’ve imagined all the ways I could lose it, but at the end of the day, I’m not willing to risk our friendship over this. It would absolutely kill me.” Her voice cracks, the last words falling on a choked whisper.
“That would never happen,” I tell her adamantly.
“How can you be so sure?” Her eyes search mine, fear seeping through the light color.
“Because we made a pact, and nothing can break it. Remember?”
She shakes her head, unable to mask her worry.
“Look, I’ll admit I don’t have this all figured out, Elle. This is new for me too, but what I do know is that you will always be my best friend. Nothing in this world will ever change that. You want a baby and I want to give it to you. So, let’s do this. Once you get pregnant, if we decide we are better off staying just friends, then we will be two best friends who raise this baby together. If not …”
Her eyes lock with mine at the trail off. “If not?” she challenges.
“We will be two best friends who get to fuck all the time for the rest of our lives.”
She chuckles, the soft sound exactly what I was hoping for.
“I think we owe it to ourselves to at least explore this,” I continue. “If not for us, then for the child we will raise together.”
Silence falls, hope and indecision battling on her face.
I hold my breath, waiting for her to say the answer we both want to hear.
Just as she opens her mouth, the words poised on her lips, a sudden sound pierces the air—the chime of her phone shattering the moment.
Looking away, she stands from her chair and crosses the kitchen to grab her phone off the counter. “Hello?”
The female voice on the other end of the line is loud enough that I hear her state she’s from the clinic.
Ellie’s gaze snaps to mine. “Yes, this is she.”
“I’m calling to confirm your appointment for tomorrow at nine a.m.”
My heart jumps into my throat, threatening to suffocate me. Each pulse echoes in my ears like a steady drum as I await the verdict.
Silence stretches on for what seems like an eternity, Ellie’s face a battlefield of emotions as we lock eyes through the heavy silence.
