“Ah, boxers or briefs. But what about when I wear nothing? What do you call that?”
I go stock-still for a second. But of course. It makes perfect sense. Naturally Enzo, the six-foot-two, twenty-six-year-old Spanish model who recently moved from Madrid to New York City to marry Valerie Wu, the nearly-twice-his-age CEO of a media and advertising conglomerate, walks around in the buff. “We call that commando. But please tell me you’re not wearing nothing right now as you try on the tux?”
He gives me an eyebrow wriggle. “Wouldn’t you like to see?”
“No, I actually wouldn’t.”
He laughs then clasps my shoulder, doubling over. “Oh, the look on your face. I wound you up. Don’t worry. I have on pants too. Right?”
I wag a finger at him. “You took the piss out of me. Also, I’d say you’re ready for the wedding next weekend.”
He regards himself one final time in the mirror, shooting approving looks at his reflection. And those must be from the give-them-sex-eyes drawer. “Valerie will probably want to jump me the second she sees me. But she always wants to jump me. That’s a nice thing about women of a certain age. In fact,” he says, picking up his phone and checking the screen, “she’ll be here in a minute.”
“To jump you?”
“Please. She’d never do that in a store. Probably in her town car, though, and I’ll look forward to that. But she’s on her way, since I sent her a selfie after I tried it on and she wants to see me in this in the flesh. Selfies of me make her happy, and I want a happy bride.”
A few minutes later, a statuesque woman with striking cheekbones sweeps into the tux shop, red Jackie O shades perched atop her waterfall of silky black hair, flashing smiles at the sales associates.
“Hello. Good morning, Delia. Don’t you look dashing, Simon? That suit fits perfectly. And that tie! Do you sell it here? I’ll take one of each. Thank you so very much. Add it to my account.”
She arrives at the dressing room area, brown eyes taking a leisurely stroll up and down her fiancé’s body. “Yes. Just as I suspected. Even better than the photo.”
“I had a feeling you might think so.”
“And I’ve already added the photo to my private collection.”
“Of course you have. I knew you would. I know you so well,” he says, his tone laced with affection, his gaze only for her.
“You know I love to look at them when you’re away in Bali, in Paris, in Milan, and I’m left behind all by my lonesome,” she pouts playfully, her eyes only on him.
He chuckles. “You make it seem like you’re left behind to make casseroles.”
“As if I’d even touch an oven. How do they work? You use them to cook food?”
He laughs, clearly delighted with her. “I believe so. But the phone and all the wonderful apps on it do that just the same. So you can run your empire while I am away from you.”
“And that’s why I love when you indulge me with my favorite photos.” Valerie and Enzo share a secret smile, then she spins around. “Where are my manners? It’s a pleasure to meet you in person at last . . .”
She extends a hand, waiting for me to supply my fake name.
“Jay,” I tell her.
“Jay. How lovely to finally meet the best man.” She winks at me, since she’s in on it. After all, she’s the one who found me. She’s the one who hired me—well, her assistant did. But, point being, she knows the score. The only thing she doesn’t know is my real name, since I don’t generally give it.
I take her hand to shake. “And a pleasure to meet the bride.”
“I’m dying to hear all about you. I love meeting new people. I love learning about what makes them tick. I want to know everything. But right now, I have some business to attend to. I have a call with my COO over a new partnership. I must return to my office on wheels. So we’ll talk more at the cocktail party?”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
She looks to her fiancé. “I’ll be waiting for you right outside. Then we’ll go to that gallery opening of the painter you love.”
“Ahhh. You got the tickets!”
“Of course I did. I know how much you love his work.”
“Now who’s indulging who?”
“What can I say? You know what I like. I know what you like,” she says with a smile.
He raises a hand, runs his thumb along her jawline. “You’re too good to me, my love.” He drops a kiss to her lips, a proper store kiss, nothing inappropriate, but clearly the kind that seems to say something about their union. They’re not even randy. They’re simply tender and, it seems, truly in love. On the surface he might appear to be her boy toy, but he’s a multi-millionaire model who indulges her whims, and she’s the billionaire who indulges his.
Funny, in a good way, how all these couples might be hiring me for appearance’s sake, but their connections with each other seem genuine. From Chip and Ashley and their delight in finding someone truly nice, to Enzo and Valerie and their surprisingly mutual romance, and even to Gavin and Savannah and the way they finished each other’s sentences.
They might have needed me for the ceremonies, but they don’t need me to be happy.
But I shove all thoughts of love, shagging, and deep connections out of my head when I meet Truly at the pub for lunch and a little recon.
When I see her lounging in a dark booth in a dingy corner, her head bent, tapping away on her phone, I’m not stealing the chance to stare at her privately before she notices me. I’m not cataloging those pouty red lips, that lush chestnut hair, that tight, toned body.
No, deliberately I’m thinking of Gigante ads, and that wipes any vestiges of lust and longing straight from my brain.
29
I’m ready for my blue ribbon in resistance. Consider what I’ve accomplished so far today, and it’s only one thirty in the afternoon.
For starters, we’ve had an entire flight of beer samples, and I haven’t made a single flirty remark. Not one.