“You kissed me on the cheek earlier,” I said.
He looked amused. “It’s good for them to see that. This is what I got to see when I was growing up.”
“Kissing in the kitchen?”
“A healthy relationship,” he said. “Two people in love.” He bent down and kissed me and I didn’t stop him this time.
It was a casual comment. Not a huge declaration or even something he expected a response to. Just stating a fact.
We’d only ever said we like each other more than like. We’d never said that word.
I’d never said that word.
We’d been tiptoeing around it for weeks. He was still tiptoeing, really. I think he sensed that I wasn’t ready for him to look me in the eye and say I love you, so he slipped it in this way instead.
He was right, I wasn’t ready.
Even though I did love him.
How easy it was for him to acknowledge this monumental thing. To say it out loud without fear that the universe would take it from him now that it knew what he needed to live. That’s what the universe always did to me. Took away the people I loved.
He still had his arms around my waist. Chelsea didn’t pay it any attention as she climbed back onto her chair to eat her breakfast.
“Sarah knows I stay the night,” I whispered. “Your brother too.”
His eyes went wide. “They do?”
“Yup.”
“Do you think we’ve been too loud?” he whispered.
“Yes. They hear us laughing.”
He paused for a moment before cracking up. “Well, you do make me ridiculously happy. I can’t help it.” He rubbed his nose to mine.
Justin’s heart was pressed to my heart.
He gazed into my eyes and I studied his face. The creases when he smiled. His messy hair, the little gold flecks in his irises. Something serious moved across his expression as he held me there, and the most overwhelming feeling came over me.
I felt like I could stay in this moment forever. Like it was timeless because of how absolutely perfect it was. And yet there was nothing perfect about it. Not in the traditional sense. We were in pajamas. We weren’t on a date, standing under the moon. We were next to a sink full of dirty dishes and a crusty waffle iron. There wasn’t music playing or candlelight or rose petals. But it was perfect. I wouldn’t have changed a single thing about it.
He put a hand to my cheek. “Sometimes I feel like the seasons could come and go and come and go, a hundred years could pass, a thousand, the ground could collapse under us, this house could crumble and go back to the earth, and we would still be standing here frozen in time, because every second I’m with you is eternal. I’ve never felt anything like it.”
The air stilled in my lungs. Words taken right out of my own mind and said back to me out loud.
If this isn’t magic, then what is?
He didn’t wait for me to reply. He just leaned down and kissed me again.
CHAPTER 38 EMMA
A week and a half later and I’d stayed over at Justin’s every single night since the day we had waffles. Justin and the kids and I did everything together. I did driving hours with Alex, took Sarah to dance, folded laundry on the bed with Justin while we watched movies. I spent a full day and took care of his mom’s plants in the yard, something he was stressed about. On Saturday Justin and I cooked dinner together and set up an ice cream sundae bar for dessert. We walked the dog holding hands, and I lay in bed watching him work after the kids went to school.
I don’t think I realized how smart he was until I got to see him working. He was a lead engineer at a tech company. During his stand-up meetings with his team, it was like seeing a whole new side of him. And then he’d take off his headphones, log out, and climb into bed with me and be so soft and sweet and focused on me.
I liked taking care of him and his family. I liked bringing Chelsea to school on my day off to give Justin time to go for a run and then going to Starbucks and surprising him with his favorite coffee. I liked rubbing his shoulders while he sat at his computer and hearing Sarah tell me about her day. But mostly I loved being there when he woke up. Not having to wait for a text. Seeing him the second I opened my eyes.
I’d planted the rosebush in his front yard and I liked seeing that too.
The summer was slipping into fall now. I’d picked up some mums for the front porch and I was just getting the last one out of the van when the phone rang. It was Maria.
I thought for a second she had maybe butt-dialed me? Or maybe a package had shown up at the house. I swiped open the call. “Maria—”
“Your mother has lost her mind! You have fifteen minutes to get here before I call the police!”
I froze. “What… what did she do?”
“She’s throwing clothes on the lawn! The whole backyard is covered, I’m not cleaning this up!” She yelled something in Spanish. “She sleeps for days, then she’s awake for a week straight, painting and painting her stupid wall all night long with the music blasting and she’s leaving the front door open and the whole house is full of dead bugs. Now this—I am done. You come get her or I call the cops.”
She disconnected.
Justin was in a meeting. I didn’t want to interrupt him and I didn’t have time. I just grabbed the keys, ran to the garage, and went and called Maddy on the way. When I got there, I threw the van in park and bolted around to the backyard to Maria just in time to see Mom chuck another armload over the railing.
I gaped at her. “MOM!”
She ignored me and went back in. A moment later she came out with more clothes.
“Mom, stop!”
