“Only you can shed the yoke of your fear. If you don’t, it will drown you in a sea of doubt.”

My shoulders sag because I know Ekana is right. I’m letting fear rule over my emotions instead of taking a chance on something that could be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced.

“What if I don’t choose Ilian?”

Ekana smiles. “Fate has a way of bringing people together who are truly meant to be—why fight what will eventually happen?

No one escapes their destiny. All they can do is shape the path to it, so you decide. Do you want the route to be smooth or bumpy?”

I snort. This Ithaqua makes it sound so easy. She laughs, the tinkling sound ringing into the air like bells.

“My child, I never said it would be easy—life rarely is—but I think we can both agree that most people make decisions that complicate matters much more than they need to be. Why fight the flow of the river when you can use it?”

“So you’re saying I’m trying to swim upstream when I should go downstream?”

“Something like that.”

“Is Ilian alright?”

“That’s for you to ask him and learn.”

“I don’t know where—”

“He’s returning now. Before I go to give you space to talk, I’m going to gift you with what Aisyth tasked you with.”

Her words don’t make any sense until she conjures a vial out of thin air and squeezes a tear inside from the depths of her shadowed gaze.

“Why are you giving me this?”

“Because you still have a choice to make, and one of them requires my tear.”

“Ilian made it sound like summoning you would be difficult.”

“Emotionally, yes. Your memories of your past are what called to me. Would you not agree that every time you think of them, they take a toll on your heart?”

“So your tear is for my memories of my parents?”

Ekana smiles sadly. “No. It’s for the love that might have been.”

With this, she vanishes in a swirl of mist, leaving me bereft of her wisdom. I still seek answers, but Ekana made it clear that they’re already inside of me.

Heavy footsteps sound, and I turn to see Ilian lumbering toward me. His fur is clean and there’s a wariness pouring through our bond from him, but his shoulders still curl forward.

I grip the vial with Ekana’s tear as I replay her words in my mind. Deep down, I know what’s real and what’s not. I just have to follow my heart.

Clarity bursts like a firework inside my head, and I get what she meant about her gift. Ekana didn’t cry from my past memories.

But the future one of losing Ilian if I choose to dissolve our bond.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Ilian

“Soyam, we need to talk.”

“I met Ekana—she gave me her tear.”

This announcement sets me off-kilter. I came to apologize and express how I feel about my mate, but I didn’t expect Zhuliya to say that.

“You summoned her?”

“My memories did.”

I close my eyes, my chest tightening. “I’m so very sorry. Only the most powerful of memories call to Ekana—but only the saddest make her cry. It’s why I wanted to save her for last.”

Zhuliya hums. “She was very kind. She helped me understand something I’ve been struggling with.”

“And what’s that?”

“It’s hard for me to reconcile my emotions with our bond—what is real and what’s not—but she pointed out that I already knew the answer, and that fate isn’t the driver of my life.

Rather, it’s the directions on the road to my destiny. I can choose to follow them or ignore them, but only to my detriment.”

A laugh wells up inside of me. “That does sound like something Ekana would say. She’s revered among the Ithaqua for her wisdom. I suppose you’ve made your decision.”

I indicate to the vial in her hand with Ekana’s tear. Zhuliya gives me a soft smile, and I second guess everything I planned to say to her.

What does it matter when she’s already decided to remove my ink?

“Shall we call Aisyth, then?”

“No, not until we talk first.”

“What is there to say? The sooner we remove our bond, the sooner you can be free.”

“And is this what you want?”

“I want what you want.”

“Ilian! Please, just answer me plainly. Do you want to dissolve this bond, regardless of what you think I want?”

Staring into her dark brown eyes, I click my claws together, knowing I have the choice to be honest or not.

“No.”

Zhuliya steps closer, so that her breasts rub against my stomach, and I stifle a groan at the sweet, torturous contact.