Removing the glasses was out of the question.
She had no business seeing what my little stunt had done to my eyes. Well, one of them. The only one who’d gotten a good look was Karmuth, and I wanted to keep it that way.
I knew there were whispers going around the court, but so long as nobody full on confronted me, I could pretend nothing had happened at all.
“I’m trying out a new style,” I muttered. “It doesn’t do to discard part of the outfit.”
I wish I’d have something else to hide behind, or that the mark of darkness would fade like Karmuth presumed. My vision was shaded enough by the layer of black around my eye; I didn’t need another darkening component.
There weren’t a lot of options though. Would lenses work on a completely black canvas?
Mother scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous, dear.”
I gritted my teeth but refused to budge. She had no business making me feel worse about my predicament. Of course, she didn’t quite know what had happened exactly in the first place, but I supposed that’s why we were having dinner together in the first place.
“Now, Isay. You wouldn’t wear a hat inside, so take the sunglasses off.”
“If it was part of my outfit, I woul—”
She dropped her fork with a loud cling, and I squeezed my eyes shut. This was ridiculous, indeed. But not the fact that I wore sunglasses inside, rather the fact that my mother made such a big deal of it. She was supposed to provide a solace in my state of distress, not call me out on something as meaningless as my looks.
I had single-handedly saved the court, for heaven’s sake!
With eyes still squeezed shut, I pulled the glasses off and set them on the table next to the plate that was placed there by the servant. I didn’t dare open my eyes. I’d looked in the mirror several times since I got back from the infirmary. It was hideous, not at all what Karmuth had called it, what he’d called me…
Swallowing hard, I picked up a fork and focussed my gaze on the plate. Deep breaths, just don’t freak out. As if I’d be the one to freak out now, I’d already gone through that flooding of emotions and stopped short of acceptance. My mother on the other hand?
“Isay! What in the world is that on your face?” Her question was loud and piercing. It also got the entire dining hall to shift their gazes in our direction. She now stood to lean closer to the offending mark.
“What, pray tell, do you mean exactly?” I bit out through my dry throat.
I was barely able to contain the boiling turmoil in my stomach, but Karmuth was right behind me. He was listening, and I was not going to make a spectacle of myself, not before him. He was the only one looking out for me ever since I arrived. I was not willing to lose my only ally in here by throwing a tantrum.
“Your eye, Isay. I mean your eye.” My mother was taking laboured breaths intended to help her keep her cool, but it was clear she was on the very edge, just like me.
“What about it?” I pressed calmly.
“Stop daunting me! Tell me what happened to it.”
“Sit down Siya,” King Grath interfered, as if my change in appearance was not concerning in the slightest. “Give Isay some room to breathe.”
“I’ve given her nothing but space,” she insisted. “Look where that got us. She’s been desecrated!”
I flinched, dropped my fork that I hadn’t been using and stood to be on the same level as her. My mother still loomed a head higher than me.
“If you wanted me to stay your pretty little baby girl, you wouldn’t have brought me here. What did you expect would happen? That I wouldn’t get affected? Then you’re even more naïve than your youngling of a daughter.” Okay. I wasn’t quite staying collected as I’d intended, but how could I?
She riled me up, calling me impure, looking at me like I’d sprouted horns. Maybe the eye was just as bad. Karmuth had said I was beautiful.
I glanced over to him to see his throat bobbing. He wasn’t facing the dining room anymore. Instead, his eyes locked with mine, and I could see the fury burning deep within. It was directed at my mother, just like my own anger.
“Isay!” My mother’s voice boomed over the whole hall.
“What?” I responded, no longer caring who heard me.
“You’re saying I’m wrong? You hadn’t thought I’d be happy here? You thought I’d stay the same as ever, seeing someone die in front of my eyes? Did you ever even think to mention there were monsters outside of the reservation?”
“You’re being immature. The reservation was safe. The delthers hadn’t been a problem for decades. I couldn’t have known they’d attack.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Just like I couldn’t have known I’d be able to tap into their life force and suck it out. How immature of me to not be able to hold it all in and explode. I saved the whole goddamned court, and you have the audacity to judge the way it changed my face.”
“You collected from a delther?” my mother whispered in horror, making my stomach burn hotter.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t heard the rumors around the court. What do you think they’ve all been talking about? Your bravery? If you haven’t heard about what I did then what in the world have you been so worried about? Care to tell me how it is possible I was able to connect to an animal with such ease?”
“That’s enough!” The king finally stepped in.
I took a step back, stumbling on my chair.
“You are quite right about that,” I agreed. “I won’t be dining with you again.”
I marched out of the dining hall, Karmuth at my heels as every single fae in the room followed me with their eyes. I sneered at one of them and he bowed his head, muttering “Apologies, my princess,” under his breath.
When the doors closed behind Karmuth, I could breathe more easily. I didn’t dare to look at him, though, and headed straight for the stairs.
“I’m sorry about that, Isay,” he said quietly. “I’m really sorry. She shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”
I halted in my escape to finally look at him. His eyes were intense, his lips pressed to a thin line.
