I’d given everything I had to these fae. I’d sacrificed not only the rabbit I’d tried to save, but myself as well. Tears pooled in my eyes, and the image in the mirror got even hazier before Karmuth pulled my reflection away from me.
“It doesn’t matter, Isay,” he insisted. “It doesn’t matter. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, inside and out. Isay? Are you listening to me?”
I shook my head.
“Look at me, please,” he murmured.
I shook my head once more. I’d never open my eyes again.
“Tell me, does it affect your eyesight?”
I nodded and sobbed.
“We’ll get it looked at, okay? After the venom is out of your system, we’ll get it looked at. You’re going to be fine.”
Tucking me back into the blanket, he shifted from the bed to a chair next to it. He was giving me space to have my breakdown. It helped, and after a while my breathing slowed and I sagged into the pillow.
“Let me make a guess as to what happened,” Karmuth said quietly. “You went to your room like I told you to but couldn’t stay put. Shhh, don’t talk, I know you wouldn’t stay put. I should’ve sent someone to make sure you’d stay safe. Something happened that made you come out. Did you hear the screams?” He paused, then let out a sigh. “Of course you did.
“You wanted to help, because that’s just who you are, but you ran into the delthers. Not having any forest around, you somehow tapped into their life force and pulled it out, throwing it at every fae in the court while keeping all the venom to yourself. How am I doing so far?”
I pulled myself to a sitting position. The salve kept my shivers at bay. I was hot and cold all at once, but I felt stronger than before. “I was afraid,” I said quietly.
“That’s understandable. I was afraid, too, when the delthers broke through. Anyone who wasn’t afraid is dead.”
“I was afraid for you,” I admitted even quieter. I’d sat up to be able to look at him, but now I couldn’t meet his eyes. Besides, he still looked way too hazy.
“You came looking for me?” he pried with a hint of curiosity laced with pain.
I forced myself to meet his eyes, and his gaze heated me up even more. “I had to do something.”
“And you did. You did a whole lot of somethings, and all of these fae in here are alive because of you. You are absolutely incredible, Isay. I don’t know how you managed it, but you’ve fed the entire court. And you shouldn’t feel so fucking bad about it.”
I blushed and fiddled with the blanket. “I’m sure you’re overpraising me. I simply choked up something vile from the delther’s ecos and exploded.”
His expression hardened then. “Everyone is grateful for you, Isay. You need not be so humble. But I do hope you’ll stop putting yourself in harm’s way. It’s hard to protect you if you keep running into danger.”
“I never intended to do anything of the sort.” But then again, when do intentions ever matter?
Things still happened of their own accord. I didn’t intend to feel anything other than hate and distrust toward a death fae, but Karmuth’s careful attendance made it really hard not to.
Chapter 17
KARMUTH
THREE DAYS LATER, THE COURT ACTED AS IF THE ATTACK HAD BEEN merely a slight bother. Most of the fae came out healthier and fuller than they’d been in years and had nothing to complain about.
I’d found Pir’s dead body under one of the delthers, so the story of what really happened was between me, Isay, Drek, Ronya, and that one guard that swore to stay quiet. Way too many people, if you asked me.
Isay was out of the infirmary, but I honestly couldn’t say if she was doing any better than when I’d first found her in there.
Unable to leave her out of my sight for longer than an hour at a time, I’d swiftly become her main escort. She hadn’t protested it yet, but she also said little else.
We certainly hadn’t talked about what had gone down during the battle and why; I was damned if I’d bring that up even if I wanted to hear her say again that she’d done it for me. I also wished she hadn’t done what she had for her sake, because now I was following a zombie around the reservation, and that broke me.
Ferro felt no such compassion.
“Regar’s made plans to go out tonight.” He grinned as we trailed the princess across the courtyard. “You coming?”
I was more focussed on Isay as she stumbled at the sight of the flowerbed where I’d pulled a bunch of spring blooms out on the very first day.
The gaping hole I’d made was still present. Nobody had tried to fill it as more pressing matters pushed their way into focus. However, the flowerbed was important to Isay, so it should’ve been fixed. Rather, I should’ve fixed it.
I nodded towards Isay, and Ferro huffed.
“For death’s sake Kar, the girl can survive one evening alone.”
We were a few steps behind like the proper royal guard, but I saw her flinch anyway. She’d heard him. Her hands formed fists at her sides, but she didn’t look back towards us.
“Isay could use a night out as much as the rest of us,” I simply said.
“Seriously?” Ferro gave me a look intended to make me change my mind, but I wouldn’t. “She’s turning you into—”
I snapped, “So be it.”
“You didn’t even let me finish,” Ferro spat.
“I don’t care for your insults, Ferro. Grow up.”
