“I… tried…to—”
“I know you did.” His hand brushed through my hair, sending a different type of shiver through my scalp.
“I’ve never—” I gasped through a wave of pain.
“Any other time I would love to hear your lovely voice, Isay, but right now you need to focus on breathing. Let me do the talking.”
I nodded, wishing my eyes would open. His voice was so soft, I wondered if he was looking at me the way he’d looked at Ronya, with a gentleness in his eyes. I wanted to see it pointed at me, wanted to see him.
“Here, Kar.” The fae from before was back. “I don’t think it is a good idea to—”
“I’ll face the consequences if I have to. There’s nobody out there who can suck the life force out of me, so they’ll just have to behead me, right?” Not so gentle now.
I made a protesting sound, not willing to think of such consequences.
“Don’t,” I begged.
“Princess, I told you not to talk. I will be fine, I promise you.”
A minute passed and I thought he’d changed his mind, but then a cautious brush sent warmth through my cheek. The smell of eucalyptus and something I couldn’t decipher rose from his fingers. He rubbed it into my skin in slow circles, then dipped his fingers into the salve again and trailed it down my neck.
“Your ring might start burning again, so just nod when it gets to be too much, and I’ll stop.” He pulled at the blanket to reach more of my skin, but I refused to let go of it.
I shook my head. “Cold.”
“I get it. Trust me, I do, but this will help better than the blanket.”
I kept on gripping at it as if my life depended on the weight of it on me.
“I will warm you up, Isay. I swear you’ve got me burning like nothing ever has. Just let go of the blanket and I’ll show you just how hot it can get.”
Was he being serious? His voice had taken a sort of roughness to it that ignited something in my chest that made my fingers loosen and he pulled it off just enough to run his fingers over my bare arms, warming me up just like he said he would.
“How’s the ring?” Karmuth asked, and I shook my head. I couldn’t feel the ring through the confusing sensations unfurling within me.
He kept on running his hands over my skin. When both of my arms were tingling from the salve, Karmuth pulled at the hem of my shirt and my eyes flew right open. Through a veil of darkness in front of my face, I could see him. Face contorted in pure concentration, he didn’t notice me gaping at him as he revealed my stomach, then dragged his fingers across the tender skin.
“Karmuth,” I gasped. That got me burning, all right.
His gaze shot to mine, and his eyes widened too. “Isay?”
“What?” I breathed, unable to think of anything but his hand spreading heat through my stomach.
“Your eyes—” He pulled his hand away, clearing his throat.
“What?” I asked again, trying to clear the haze in my head, the haze before my eyes. Even after I blinked several times, Karmuth remained behind a smoky cloud. He searched my face with a desperation that sunk my heart. “What is it?”
I raised a hand to my face but couldn’t feel anything strange under my fingers. Nothing that could warrant the look he was giving me.
Karmuth swallowed hard. “How is your vision? Can you see?”
No, I couldn’t see well, and it was starting to worry me. Gasping for air as my heart pounded in my chest, I did my best to keep my voice calm. “What’s wrong with my eyes, Karmuth?”
“Do not freak out, okay? Just take deep breaths.”
“Karmuth!” I hissed.
He looked around for something in the room, stood, and then came back with a small mirror. I reached out for it, but he pulled it away before my fingers could brush it.
“Listen, I think you look incredibly beautiful, even this way. And it might go away in time.”
Any other time I would’ve likely swooned at his compliment, but I started to freak out and needed to know what he was talking about.
“Please give me the mirror,” I pleaded.
Karmuth dropped it on the blanket, only an arm’s length away. I grabbed it with shaking hands and raised it to observe my face.
My right eye was just as I was used to seeing, it but the left one brought an involuntary sob out of my mouth. The iris and sclera were both black as night as if the pupil had swallowed it whole. I looked like a delther. Even death fae didn’t have eyes as dark as this, as horrifying as this. Some had dilated pupils and a very thin circle of iris around it.
Some had beautiful dark grey eyes. I wasn’t going to talk about Karmuth’s blue pools; his were an abnormality. My eye? It looked like I’d crawled out of the Underworld.
Deep breaths my ass; I was hyperventilating. I couldn’t stop the panic as it flooded in completely unannounced.
A vile taste creeped up my throat, suffocating me further. The darkness within the delthers had gotten to me. I could feel it in me still after the salve Karmuth had rubbed on me. It had ruined me. It took more from me—my eyes!
I’d never put myself in a position to sacrifice a part of myself for someone else’s benefit. Next time, I’ll be crawling under the bed while the rest of them died. Next time, my soul would remain intact. Next time… there wouldn’t be a next time when I was already torn apart.
Next time wouldn’t matter anymore.
