I was more focussed on Isay as she stumbled at the sight of the flowerbed where I’d pulled a bunch of spring blooms out on the very first day.

The gaping hole I’d made was still present. Nobody had tried to fill it as more pressing matters pushed their way into focus. However, the flowerbed was important to Isay, so it should’ve been fixed. Rather, I should’ve fixed it.

I nodded towards Isay, and Ferro huffed.

“For death’s sake Kar, the girl can survive one evening alone.”

We were a few steps behind like the proper royal guard, but I saw her flinch anyway. She’d heard him. Her hands formed fists at her sides, but she didn’t look back towards us.

“Isay could use a night out as much as the rest of us,” I simply said.

“Seriously?” Ferro gave me a look intended to make me change my mind, but I wouldn’t. “She’s turning you into—”

I snapped, “So be it.”

“You didn’t even let me finish,” Ferro spat.

“I don’t care for your insults, Ferro. Grow up.”

“Says the youngling.”

There. He said it. She heard it. I knew she did because her head jerked slightly towards us before she looked straight ahead again.

I didn’t want her to know my age; it was a delicate topic, especially if a fae was below fifty. The word youngling had stuck to me longer than I’d like, but it was hard to get rid of when you were the youngest in the whole court.

I threw Ferro a nasty look that he met with a grin. “No woman wants an inexperienced lover. I heard Sela kicked you out, too. Have you lost your touch?”

“Sela didn’t kick me out,” I grunted. “I left on my own.”

“She had a whole line of warriors queued up that night, Kar, all ready to give her what she deserves, and you just left her hanging?”

“Like you said. She had her choice of bedmates, so why should I have stayed?” I didn’t want to have this conversation behind Isay, but Ferro had it out for me for gods know why and wouldn’t give it up.

“You gave up perfectly good sex for a woman you can’t even touch? Did her ecos mess with your brain or something?”

Or something… “You tell me, Ferro. Last I checked she breathed life back into you the same as the rest of us.”

Ferro choked a laugh as if my rough voice hadn’t gotten to him at all. If he thought I had changed the past few weeks, he hadn’t taken a good look at himself. I couldn’t remember him being this bitter.

Isay took the steps to the palace in careful grace, and one of the passing fae rushed to open the door for her. While Ferro held onto unjustified distaste, the rest of the court was warming up to her presence.

“There you go, Princess,” the fae said with a slight bow as Isay passed into the entrance hall.

I nodded to the man gratefully, even as Isay ignored his gesture and kept on walking toward the dining hall.

“What a suck-up,” Ferro muttered as we passed the fae ourselves.

“If you’d rather be scratching your balls, Ferro, be my guest and leave. I’ve had enough of your comments.”

“You’ve had enough of my—pshhh, fine. Be like that.” He waved a hand in the air dismissively and walked right back out. Good riddance.

I quickened my pace to fall into step with Isay, but she ignored me like she’d ignored the other fae.

“I’m sorry about that, my—Isay.” Mine. Just mine. She’d told me she didn’t like being called princess, but being who she was—being where we were—it was hard to look past the title.

And I wasn’t going to call her beautiful again after the nonreaction I got last time. She was stunning, even with the sunglasses hiding her eyes, one green, one black. I’d gotten them for her when she hid her face while departing  the infirmary. She didn’t leave her room without them now.

“For what exactly?” Her voice was sharp and cold. She didn’t even look at me when she said it.

For everything. “He’ll come around. He’s just a hard nut to crack.”

She scoffed, “Doubtful.”

I wish I had anything else to say. I wish I could’ve gotten through her hard shell that had kept everyone out after she’d discovered what helping us had meant for her.

Could she see how much it killed me to see her despondent like this?

“Would you like to come out with us tonight?” I asked, hopeful she might like the idea even after Ferro’s apparent dislike for it. With us… I should’ve said with me. “Ferro is a jerk, but Regar and Sinister will make up for it. Hiko is not all that bad either.”

I was trying to convince myself as much as her, but she left me hanging either way. I must’ve read her wrong in the infirmary. She still hated me for the servant. Now for the rabbit and her eye, too.

I shouldn’t want to talk to her this badly. Just talk. Could she please just talk to me?

“I can survive one evening alone,” Isay gritted through her teeth. That’s not the response I wanted.

“I’d rather you be with me,” I replied quietly.

She was always alone. Trailing her most of the time made it easy to see that the only interactions she had were with her mother, Grath, and me. I bet Regar attempted to cheer her up those few hours I wasn’t around, but he seemed to have about as much luck as a fae fighting a delther barehanded. Absolutely none.

I wanted to go out, because it was my one chance to find someone passionate enough to test my theory on my newfound feeding needs without having to resort to sex.

I couldn’t. It just felt wrong when all I thought of was Isay. She might never have me, and we might never have anything more between us than my craving for her, but I wasn’t willing to ruin my chances by sleeping with someone else.

I didn’t want to leave her on her own, though. If she wasn’t coming with us, I would stay behind, too.

We now stood at the entrance to the dining hall, and she stopped to finally look at me. I couldn’t see her eyes through the darkened glasses she wore, but her cheeks held a rosy blush to them. “How old are you, Karmuth?”

I bit my tongue, released a sigh, and looked away from her. I didn’t want to see her face when I told her I was only thirty-two. Being in my position, I had accomplished far more than some of the older fae in our court, and my age had not been much of an issue so far. But when courting a lady, it could become one hell of a problem when she’d think I couldn’t offer her the world.

“You are allowed to laugh at me, Isay. In fact, please do, I quite enjoy the sound of it. Just don’t take my age as a deciding factor.”

I was more nervous than her simple question warranted. I didn’t want to disappoint her.

“Deciding factor in what, Karmuth?”

I cleared my throat. “Isay, you do realise I—”

“You’re stalling,” she croaked, stopping my confession before I got it out. I wanted to feel relieved but was more anxious instead. “If you think flatteries will win you bonus points and make me discard my question, you’re wrong.”