His gaze shot to mine, and his eyes widened too. “Isay?”

“What?” I breathed, unable to think of anything but his hand spreading heat through my stomach.

“Your eyes—” He pulled his hand away, clearing his throat.

“What?” I asked again, trying to clear the haze in my head, the haze before my eyes. Even after I blinked several times, Karmuth remained behind a smoky cloud. He searched my face with a desperation that sunk my heart. “What is it?”

I raised a hand to my face but couldn’t feel anything strange under my fingers. Nothing that could warrant the look he was giving me.

Karmuth swallowed hard. “How is your vision? Can you see?”

No, I couldn’t see well, and it was starting to worry me. Gasping for air as my heart pounded in my chest, I did my best to keep my voice calm. “What’s wrong with my eyes, Karmuth?”

“Do not freak out, okay? Just take deep breaths.”

“Karmuth!” I hissed.

He looked around for something in the room, stood, and then came back with a small mirror. I reached out for it, but he pulled it away before my fingers could brush it.

“Listen, I think you look incredibly beautiful, even this way. And it might go away in time.”

Any other time I would’ve likely swooned at his compliment, but I started to freak out and needed to know what he was talking about.

“Please give me the mirror,” I pleaded.

Karmuth dropped it on the blanket, only an arm’s length away. I grabbed it with shaking hands and raised it to observe my face.

My right eye was just as I was used to seeing, it but the left one brought an involuntary sob out of my mouth. The iris and sclera were both black as night as if the pupil had swallowed it whole. I looked like a delther. Even death fae didn’t have eyes as dark as this, as horrifying as this. Some had dilated pupils and a very thin circle of iris around it.

Some had beautiful dark grey eyes. I wasn’t going to talk about Karmuth’s blue pools; his were an abnormality. My eye? It looked like I’d crawled out of the Underworld.

Deep breaths my ass; I was hyperventilating. I couldn’t stop the panic as it flooded in completely unannounced.

A vile taste creeped up my throat, suffocating me further. The darkness within the delthers had gotten to me. I could feel it in me still after the salve Karmuth had rubbed on me. It had ruined me. It took more from me—my eyes!

I’d never put myself in a position to sacrifice a part of myself for someone else’s benefit. Next time, I’ll be crawling under the bed while the rest of them died. Next time, my soul would remain intact. Next time… there wouldn’t be a next time when I was already torn apart.

Next time wouldn’t matter anymore.

I’d given everything I had to these fae. I’d sacrificed not only the rabbit I’d tried to save, but myself as well. Tears pooled in my eyes, and the image in the mirror got even hazier before Karmuth pulled my reflection away from me.

“It doesn’t matter, Isay,” he insisted. “It doesn’t matter. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, inside and out. Isay? Are you listening to me?”

I shook my head.

“Look at me, please,” he murmured.

I shook my head once more. I’d never open my eyes again.

“Tell me, does it affect your eyesight?”

I nodded and sobbed.

“We’ll get it looked at, okay? After the venom is out of your system, we’ll get it looked at. You’re going to be fine.”

Tucking me back into the blanket, he shifted from the bed to a chair next to it. He was giving me space to have my breakdown. It helped, and after a while my breathing slowed and I sagged into the pillow.

“Let me make a guess as to what happened,” Karmuth said quietly. “You went to your room like I told you to but couldn’t stay put. Shhh, don’t talk, I know you wouldn’t stay put. I should’ve sent someone to make sure you’d stay safe. Something happened that made you come out. Did you hear the screams?” He paused, then let out a sigh. “Of course you did.

“You wanted to help, because that’s just who you are, but you ran into the delthers. Not having any forest around, you somehow tapped into their life force and pulled it out, throwing it at every fae in the court while keeping all the venom to yourself. How am I doing so far?”

I pulled myself to a sitting position. The salve kept my shivers at bay. I was hot and cold all at once, but I felt stronger than before. “I was afraid,” I said quietly.

“That’s understandable. I was afraid, too, when the delthers broke through. Anyone who wasn’t afraid is dead.”

“I was afraid for you,” I admitted even quieter. I’d sat up to be able to look at him, but now I couldn’t meet his eyes. Besides, he still looked way too hazy.

“You came looking for me?” he pried with a hint of curiosity laced with pain.

I forced myself to meet his eyes, and his gaze heated me up even more. “I had to do something.”

“And you did. You did a whole lot of somethings, and all of these fae in here are alive because of you. You are absolutely incredible, Isay. I don’t know how you managed it, but you’ve fed the entire court. And you shouldn’t feel so fucking bad about it.”

I blushed and fiddled with the blanket. “I’m sure you’re overpraising me. I simply choked up something vile from the delther’s ecos and exploded.”

His expression hardened then. “Everyone is grateful for you, Isay. You need not be so humble. But I do hope you’ll stop putting yourself in harm’s way. It’s hard to protect you if you keep running into danger.”

“I never intended to do anything of the sort.” But then again, when do intentions ever matter?

Things still happened of their own accord. I didn’t intend to feel anything other than hate and distrust toward a death fae, but Karmuth’s careful attendance made it really hard not to.

Chapter 17

KARMUTH

THREE DAYS LATER, THE COURT ACTED AS IF THE ATTACK HAD BEEN merely a slight bother. Most of the fae came out healthier and fuller than they’d been in years and had nothing to complain about.

I’d found Pir’s dead body under one of the delthers, so the story of what really happened was between me, Isay, Drek, Ronya, and that one guard that swore to stay quiet. Way too many people, if you asked me.

Isay was out of the infirmary, but I honestly couldn’t say if she was doing any better than when I’d first found her in there.

Unable to leave her out of my sight for longer than an hour at a time, I’d swiftly become her main escort. She hadn’t protested it yet, but she also said little else.

We certainly hadn’t talked about what had gone down during the battle and why; I was damned if I’d bring that up even if I wanted to hear her say again that she’d done it for me. I also wished she hadn’t done what she had for her sake, because now I was following a zombie around the reservation, and that broke me.

Ferro felt no such compassion.

“Regar’s made plans to go out tonight.” He grinned as we trailed the princess across the courtyard. “You coming?”