I grinded against her again to hear her moan again, and she didn’t disappoint. It vibrated against my lips, driving me deeper into madness.
I needed to feel her, to see if her body reacted to mine the same way. My hand still wrapped around her ass, I stilled my hips to give my thumb the space to creep under the fabric of her panties.
She gasped while I groaned at the silky wetness that greeted me.
“Karmuth,” Isay pleaded, her eyes wide open.
“Yes, beautiful?” Whatever she wanted, anything at all, I was at her service.
“Is it true?” Her voice was breathy.
Everything stilled. My thumb hovered above her heat, but her question made me wait. She kept on breathing heavily.
“Is what true, Isay?” I rasped.
She was testing me in more ways than one. While my answer mattered to her, I was battling with restraint.
“Did you walk out on Sela?” Her eyes bore into me, burning me alive.
“Yes.” The confirmation left my lips with ease; I didn’t even have to think twice about it.
Heavens, she made me burn with the way she looked at me. Her bottom lip was between her teeth again. I took a deep breath and pulled my hand away, resting it on her stomach instead and running circles around her skin. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know about it, so shoot.”
“Why’d you walk?” Isay breathed the question shyly.
That blush of hers was my undoing. “What I had with her was purely physical.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Why’d you walk?”
“What I have with you is more,”—I looked her straight in the eyes so that she’d understand I wasn’t joking—“emotion-based. I didn’t want Sela coming between what we could have.”
“Ohh,” she sighed. “So you thought I would disapprove?”
“Do you?” Not being able to stay still for very long I trailed my fingers up under the fabric of her dress, exploring her skin, and her breathing quickened.
She ignored my question. “How often did you go to her?”
“Are you jealous? Isay, I haven’t been to her once since I met you.” Okay, that was a lie. I’d been to Sela once since I met Isay, but not after I’d shown my interest to her.
“I’m not!” she insisted breathily.
I thought she was, even though she’d denied it. I stopped my exploration just underneath her breast and gauged her reaction again.
Her heartbeat thrummed under my fingers, but she showed no signs of refusal. Still, I thought it was smart to tell her of my deal with Sela so that she could be fully informed.
“I went to Sela every time I had to feed.” Isay’s eyes widened, but she kept her mouth shut to let me continue. “I’m not a fan of feeding off the sick and damaged, our approved victim base. It’s… disheartening, which is why I made a deal with Sela. She’d offer me her life force, and I’d offer her my body. Win, win for both of us.”
“Didn’t Ferro say she had a line of males at her doorstep? Why’d she want you?”
I shrugged slightly. “I never cared enough to ask. We did little talking. Like I said, it was purely physical.”
She swallowed. Her passion had cooled, and I couldn’t read what she was thinking. Withdrawing my hand from underneath her dress, I smoothed the fabric before I cupped her face instead. Try as I may, I couldn’t move away from Isay.
She wanted to understand me, and I wanted to understand her, too. So I supposed we should have this talk.
“It’s bothering you,” I stated for her. “But it is in the past now. I can’t take it back.”
I’d never needed to convince anyone of my dedication or intentions, and I wasn’t doing a good job at it now. No idea of what she wanted to hear exactly, I was grasping at straws.
“Did you enjoy it?” Isay asked quietly, not looking at me anymore.
I took too long to respond. I knew I did, because the line of her lips tightened, and she nodded to herself.
I sighed. “I can’t deny it.”
“So she was good?”
“Isay, I don’t want her the way I want you. I don’t feel anything for her. You, my beautiful torturer, are driving me insane. You can either pull apart my past for excuses to push me away, or you can accept that’ll always be a part of me.”
“It’s not—I’m not—I… ah… do you think she could teach me?”
Flustered. Isay was flustered, but we finally got to her issue, and it wasn’t my previous sex life. It was her own, which clearly was nil, and she was self-conscious about it.
I should’ve realised it sooner. While fae males discovered the pleasures of flesh fairly early, the females were cherished and protected. My own insurrection had been my sexual awakening, but she wasn’t even at the peak of hers yet.
“Beautiful, you do not need any outside help. I will teach you.” Now that I knew what was bothering her, I could breathe more easily. It was nothing we couldn’t get through. In fact, it was something I’d enjoy getting through.
Her eyes widened innocently. “But—”
