“You knew my son,” she said quietly. “I felt his presence in you. What happened to him?”

“What do you mean?” I asked before she pushed another mouthful in to silence me. Not a brilliant way to gather intel if I had to chew through meat before I could speak.

Her eyes narrowed. “You have his ecos within you, which means he’s dead. Why would you take his life?”

She thought he was dead, which was ridiculous since I’d clearly said he would come for me. She’d likely not listened after she’d discovered his life force in me.

I emptied my mouth as fast as I could to protest her assumptions. “Karmuth’s not dead. He’s perfectly fine, and he’ll find me.”

She was sceptical. Holding the food away from me, she studied my expression. I wasn’t lying. “How do you explain his ecos in you, then?”

A blush creeped on my cheeks. I hadn’t known that even imprisoned, tortured, and suspended from chains I could feel embarrassed. “We… ah… had an exchange.”

The woman’s face turned ashen as if that was worse than death. “You and my son—?” she asked sternly

She wasn’t sceptical any longer. No, definitely not. She was horrified. Well, boohoo, I could exchange with whomever I pleased. I could sleep with anyone I wanted to. I could love…

Did I? Did I love Karmuth? The heat on my cheeks intensified as my heart jumped at the thought that made me nervous and excited all at the same time. I definitely wanted him. After what we’d done last night—it was still last night, wasn’t it?—I wanted his skin against mine again.

But it went deeper than just physical need. I wanted his arms around me, yes. His lips on mine and that tongue that won over every inch of my skin. I also wanted to hear his voice, keep him talking, learn anything there was to know about him.

We could have a future together. My mother could love a death fae, so why couldn’t I? I could. I totally could. I was in love with him.

I didn’t appreciate his mother’s distaste. Who was she to decide for Karmuth, whom she hadn’t bothered to get to know? Who was she to judge me for loving him when she clearly couldn’t?

“What?” I barked. “Is it so unacceptable for life and death to be adjoined?”

A forceful forkful of meat shut me up as the woman fumed in silence. Back to chewing, I couldn’t express my feelings on the topic.

“Are you mated to him, then?” she asked in a strained voice.

There were a few certain ways to create a mating bond, a ritual being the safest bet. My mother and Grath had done the ritual since fae from different courts rarely established a bond through natural means. The ritual raised the chances for the bond to hold. Me and Karmuth? Definitely not mated. We hadn’t done any rituals and while we did have sex and I was beginning to have strong feelings for him, that wouldn’t be enough for two fae not of the same court. If mating bonds were so easily formed, he’d already been tied to Sela before I even arrived in Vindica. The thought got my blood boiling even more. Karmuth was mine, nobody else could have him. Certainly not Sela.

I was unwilling to admit the truth, so I challenged her instead. “What if we are mated?”

“A Hessian born of naturel carrying a darkness in her heart mated to a Vindican born of an emotion-feeder, descendant of a Hessian—the very same Hessian, because it can’t be anyone else—is something to be worried about, don’t you think?”

My mouth fell open, and I couldn’t close it up around the next forkful of food she hovered in front of my face.

“What?” I spat the food out when she didn’t pull it away. “Karmuth has Hessian blood?”

“Blood has nothing to do with it. Dark blood always drowns the light. He has no Hessian blood within him. I barely have any, and none of the traits that come with it are particularly useful. He likely has no access to any of it.”

“Who?” I asked, swallowing a lump in my throat. “Who is the Hessian?”

She laughed humourlessly. “You don’t want to meet him. He cares not for his offspring. Once every century he sleeps around. Actually, he likely does it more often, but once every century is when it matters. A life fae tempting fate, they say. If his court wasn’t dying out, he’d be executed by now. Birthing his energy with a Felrothian? Creating an abomination?”

She shook her head. “Doesn’t change anything. I’m too dark to be Hessian and too light to be Felrothian. He wants nothing to do with me. He doesn’t care about any of us, he only needs an outlet for his ecos, and none of the life fae managed to enwomb it. So, he goes around creating halflings every century. Not many of them survive through their insurrection. I’m surprised you’ve made it.”

My gut twisted. I shivered. My voice was hollow when I asked, “What happens during the insurrection?”

Her face softened as she realised I hadn’t gone through mine yet. “I’m sorry.”

“What happens?” I asked again, more frantically. “What happens?”

She shook her head sadly, not willing to elaborate.

“You made it through,” I rasped. “You did! What can I do?”

“You’ve got to decide which part of your heritage you want to keep,” she told me. “Life does not mix with the rest. When you can’t decide in time, you’ll combust. If you survive, Heriot will seek you out. He will completely disown you, however, if you’ve not decided to choose life.”

“Heriot,” I repeated.

“Very few choose. Nobody has chosen life.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She laughed again. “A life fae in the Felrothian court? I would’ve been drained dry the moment the change took place. I didn’t know my father, and when he showed up after my insurrection to see how I’d chosen, I sent him to hell.”

My head was swimming. I couldn’t comprehend everything she was telling me. Exhaustion and fear fought for precedence in my body while I begged her story to make sense. All I could think was that I was half Hessian and Karmuth was quarter Hessian.

Between the two of us, we represented four of the most powerful faerie courts. If we could get along… ah, love each other… could the rest of the courts?

“Can you help me escape?” I asked after she’d finished feeding me. With a foot I couldn’t put any weight on and light-headedness that started to pull me under, I wouldn’t get far, but anywhere was better than here.

I could somehow let Karmuth know where I was. He would come for me. He would come…

Karmut’s mother pressed her lips tight and even more light faded from her eyes. “I’m sorry, girl. There is nothing more I can do for you.”

She took the empty platter and backed her way out of my room, carefully checking that the hallway was empty.

“Wait!” I begged. “What is your name?”

“Elia,” she whispered.

Then she stepped out of the room, locked my door, and was gone.

Chapter 36

KARMUTH

“KAR, WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, NOW,” REGAR REMINDED ME as I came to terms with the new energy flowing through my body.

Most of my aches were gone. My entire body hummed and stretched, trying to make room for all of the different forces flowing within me. A strand of Ferro’s life force lingered separate from the rest of my ecos awaiting me to pull it apart piece by piece, searching for clues.

But Regar was right. We’d made a lot of racket while trying to get Ferro to talk. Someone was bound to come investigating.

We were just below the stairs when the door above opened with a groan. After a tense moment, we both pressed our backs against the wall on either side of the staircase and waited for the footsteps to get closer. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, drowning out the soft thumps, and my brain was still occupied by threading through Ferro’s life. It was all jumbled, knotted together, and gave me a headache.