Will tried to fit in with the family, but truth be told, he was bored. Harvest was over, and his Pershing and Abercrombie friends didn’t need his help on their farms. He rode Shanty out to Daniel’s and Zeke’s houses to ask how he could assist them. Daniel and Jonah made work for him, but they were also at loose ends.
Will finished whittling the little horse he’d started on the expedition and gave it to Maria. She seemed glad to spend time with him, though something worried her—she wouldn’t tell him what.
Mama hovered over Will until his teeth crawled. He knew she was glad he was home. He regretted hurting Mama by running away, but he wished she didn’t watch him every minute with wounded eyes.
Will spent as much time in the carriage house as he could, caring for the horses. “I don’t know how long I can stay,” he whispered to Shanty. “No one needs me here. At least in the militia, Colonel Drew needed me. Or so he said.” Sometimes Will wondered whether Drew really required help with his notes, or if the officer merely wanted to keep him out of trouble.
One day Cal came into the carriage house while Will was there. “Oh,” the younger boy said, “I didn’t know you were here. I brought carrots for the horses.” Cal handed one to Will to give to Shanty then busied himself with the carriage horses.
After a bit, Cal asked, “Did you get my letter?”
Will nodded, impressed that his younger brother would bring it up. “I didn’t leave because of you. I’m sorry I said I hate you.”
“Why did you leave?”
Will shrugged. “I needed to get away. And Jonah asked me to go with him.”
“It wasn’t because we fought?”
Will shook his head. He thought his little brother deserved more. He turned to Cal and said, “If you ever decide to leave home, tell your parents first. Don’t do what I did—I was wrong not to tell Mama.”
But though he knew he’d been wrong to leave, Will still felt stifled by Mama’s attention.
A few days after the conversation with Cal, Maria found Will in the carriage house. “Mama wants you inside,” she told him.
“Why?” Will said. “So she can pat my head again? Kiss my cheek? I don’t need her hanging over me.”
“She missed you, Will.” Maria sat on an upturned bucket and smoothed her skirts down.
Will wished he could stay in the carriage house with Maria forever. He sighed. “I know Mama loves me, but I’m not a little boy anymore.”
“Maybe that’s what she’s afraid of,” Maria said. “That you’ll leave again. Are you going to leave?” Her voice trembled.
Will turned to her, ignoring Shanty nosing at his pocket. “Would you miss me, Maria?” He would miss her—Maria’s calm and gentleness drew him more than Mama’s brooding.
“Of course, I would,” she said. But she sounded perfunctory. Will couldn’t tell if Maria yearned for his companionship the way he yearned for hers.
When William and Maria returned to the house, Jenny gave them a swift glance. She’d wondered aloud where Will was, and Maria offered to find him. But Jenny fretted when the two of them spent time alone together. Maria had been so distressed after William kissed her in April. Mac and Jenny had discussed it, but neither of them knew where Will’s infatuation might lead.
“She’s his sister,” Mac insisted.
Jenny shook her head. “But she isn’t. And they both know it.”
“They were raised as siblings.”
“Perhaps so,” Jenny said. “But it wouldn’t be wrong for them to find love with each other.”
Mac harrumphed, clearly not convinced. “They’re too young.”
Jenny agreed with him on that point. She wondered whether they should send Maria to live with Abigail Duniway to nip any developing relationship between the two teenagers.
Jenny sent Maria off to braid the little girls’ hair and asked William to help her peel apples for a pie. They sat in the kitchen paring the fruit over a bucket between them. “Are you happy here?” she asked him.
William glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. He shrugged.
“Tell me the truth,” she said. “I want to help you.”
“I don’t know, Mama,” he said, his voice sounding strained. “I want to be here, but I don’t.”
“What’s the reason you don’t want to be here?”
“There’s nothing for me to do.” He waved the paring knife in one hand and a half-peeled apple in the other. “I don’t need the academy anymore. You don’t need me at home. Mac doesn’t have much for me in town.”
Jenny swallowed hard when William used Mac’s name. He hadn’t called Mac “Pa” since he’d found out about Johnson and the others. She pressed her lips together so as not to comment.
William continued, “I didn’t like the militia, but at least it had a purpose.”
“What purpose do you want?” she asked her son.
“I don’t know.” And he turned back to peeling the apple.
The next day, Will rode Shanty to Daniel’s farm to see Jonah. After living together for months, they had spent little time together since their return.
