Over the last five years, what was a small family of three brothers and a sister, had turned into one huge family. I often spent time flying back and forth to watch the children who resulted from my brothers’ unexpected, but totally welcome, romances. The hard men I’d barely known in my younger days had now become men with a softness around their hard edges, and I was a spinster.

I looked at the bowl in front of me, totally untouched, and imagined a candle on the top of it. The birthday song played in my head, and I had to swipe a tear away. How had all of them forgotten it was my birthday? I hadn’t received a call from any of my brothers or my sisters-in-law. Even Trent and Jessi had forgotten about the event.

I’d kind of hoped that one of them would remember, that there’d been a surprise element to tonight’s babysitting gig, but no. Just a charity event somewhere in downtown Myrtle Beach that they’d planned to attend. Jessi had looked glorious in a black velvet gown, and Trent was always impressive in a tux.

I swiped at the blonde ponytail that had fallen over my shoulder and gave the girls a wan smile.

“What’s wrong, Aunty?” little Rhiannon asked softly. She put her spoon

down and put her tiny little hand on my cheek. “Do you have a sad?”

“I do, honey, but you two make it all better. And Harry, of course.”

“Do you want to watch a grown-up movie instead of one of our movies?”

Breanna added from her stool.

“No, honey, it’s fine. Let’s wash up the bowls and settle in. A nice long cuddle with you two will make it all better.” I loved my siblings and their children, but sometimes, I wanted what they had for myself.

I didn’t resent that I was the family’s version of Mary Poppins. I just wanted them to recognize that three flights a week was too much, and that I needed time to myself. And to have my special dates noticed. I only really had one, after all; why had it been so hard to remember this year?

Jessi and Trent had a new baby to deal with, as did Mason and Laura. They’d adopted a lovely little girl a month ago to add to the two children they’d had previously. Ember and Kevin only had one child, a beautiful little version of Ember that they’d called Bridget after her mother. That still amused me, that Ember’s real name was Bridget Jones.

I’d loved Ember from the moment I met her, and that voice? She was a wonder, but then all of my sisters-in-law were wondrous. Then there was me.

The family caretaker and a spinster. What a life.

The girls surprised me and fell asleep twenty minutes into the movie. We’d

piled up on the broad, black velvet couch in front of the large screen television, one on each side of me, and I was now stuck between them. I didn’t want to wake them up, but my phone began to buzz. I struggled for a moment and wanted to scream when the phone almost fell off the edge of the end table, but I caught it.

I opened the screen to see a text from my friend, Roxie Simpson, on the screen.

<Hey, girl, happy birthday. Want to celebrate with me after my set?>

I grinned, the pain in my chest eased just a fraction. I thought about what to say, about what she offered, and decided that, yes, I did want to celebrate.

<Are you sure you want to party with an old woman like me? I’m twenty-seven now!>

The response was almost instantaneous, and I grinned wider.

<Shut up, you aren’t old. You’re only a few months older than me. Meet me at my apartment around ten?>

<I’ll be there. I have to wait for Trent and Jessi to get back, then I’ll be there.>

I felt a little better about life after that, and I couldn’t wait to see what Roxie had in store. She wasn’t the kind of person you’d associate with a woman of my class. My father owned hotel chains across the world, but she was one of the best friends I had. Now that Jessi was a wife and mother, I spent a lot of time with my best friend too busy to talk to me.

I’d met Roxie at a fundraiser I’d been part of. She’d helped to organize the event, and we’d hit it off. She’d been in a wonderful lavender suit that fit her form, but she’d looked classy and well put together with her makeup in place and her manners impeccable. I hadn’t known she was a stripper until she told me. Exotic dancer, that’s what she called it.

Only she wasn’t just an exotic dancer, the woman had skills and had won competitions all over the country with her performances. She continued to perform, but in her spare time, she volunteered with the charity I’d become a part of. She worked at some kind of exclusive gentlemen's club, code for strip joint, but she’d alluded to the fact that it was far more than that.

I’d often wondered about those allusions, and exactly what Roxie did to earn her money. She lived in a nice apartment on the outskirts of Myrtle Beach and drove a nice car. She always looked impeccably dressed, unless she was at home, and then she’d put on jeans and a tank top, or shorts and sweaters. Basically, she was just like me, except I lived in a mansion, didn’t really have a specific job, was rich, and the world was my oyster. She had to work for her money.

I wasn’t judging her; that wasn’t the problem at all. On the contrary, I was quite intrigued about Roxie’s life. She said she found her routines to be an escape, and the other tasks she did; well, sexual gratification was always a good thing. I wouldn’t know. But I wanted to.

I took the girls up to their bedroom, put them each in their little pink fairy princess beds, and left a nightlight on for them. Jessi and Trent would be back

soon, and I’d be on my way. I went downstairs to check on Harry, found him awake, and gave him a bottle while we waited.

“Your mommy and daddy will be home soon, my little love,” I said to him as

he stared up at me with eyes so like Trent’s. Like mine.

I never had time to date or find a husband, but at night, when I was alone in my rooms at whatever hotel I called home for the moment, I’d think about my future. Right now, it looked empty and bleak. I wanted a family, and the look of happiness that my brothers now wore. I wanted a baby of my own and a family.

Or so I considered. I knew I wanted children, but maybe not right away? I grinned a little as I burped Harry over my shoulder and felt his little snuffles fall back to snores. Such a tiny little being, and so sweet.

The problem was, I wanted that same sweetness for myself, but I also wanted some of the wildness that Roxie had told me about. Parties where everybody ended up naked, and the private rooms some of the patrons of the club rented for their own escapades. I wanted to know more about that world.

I wanted to explore it and find out what it was all about. I was more than ready to find out what happened in the world of the grownups. I might have been rich, but I was also very sheltered, and I wanted to tear that shelter down.

I’d formed a plan by the time Trent and Jessi came back to the house at nine.

I headed back to the hotel, changed into an outfit I’d hidden away in my suitcase of secret wonders, and looked at myself in the mirror. I’d applied a little makeup, just enough to make the gray in my eyes lighter, and had curled my hair into long waves. The lace top, with a shelf bra to protect my modesty, and short white skirt spoke of my innocence, but left little to the imagination.

I added a pair of white heels, then left the room with a bag in hand. I went down to the parking garage, found the family car that was left there for any of us to use, and drove to Roxie’s place. She let me in with a scream of excitement and a hug.

“Girl, it’s been a month since I’ve seen you! How are you?” She offered me

a drink, and we’d both sat by the time I got around to answering her.

“I’ve been rushed off my feet. I keep flying from place to place, and I tell you, I’m tired.” I sipped at the wine she’d given me and set the glass on the

table.

Her living room was done in white, glass, and gold trimmings. Tasteful but

not gaudy. I didn’t want to ruin her carpets with red wine if I got clumsy, so I’d asked for white wine.

“Why don’t you tell them to hire a nanny, honey? You can’t keep living like this.”

I looked at her with a little guilt on my face before I smiled. “I told Trent tonight that I needed more time to myself, and I wouldn’t be watching the kids so much. I need to be here to work on that project we’ve started, and I’ll be around, but I won’t be flying back and forth between Laura and Mason in Charlotte, and Kevin and Ember in Tennessee. I know they all want someone they trust around their kids, but you’re right, Roxie. It’s time for me to spread my wings.” I left out the part where I wanted her to help me do just that. For now.

“Okay! Good for you! I’m glad you finally did that. It will be nice to have you around.” She was two feet away on the other end of the white damask couch. I couldn’t help but compare myself to her.

She wore a black leather bustier type top and black leather pants, yet she still looked sophisticated. Maybe it was the black patent leather Prada kitten heels, the way her blonde hair was never out of place, or maybe it was the fact that Roxie never sweated, even in the heat, but she always looked so cool and collected, in control. I admired her. Those blue eyes helped too. They were so…

bright.