“I wouldn’t know.” I laughed with her as she turned, replaced her bra, and put her dress back on before we left the changing rooms.

We finished shopping and left to go eat at one of her favorite places. It was a quiet little burger place, but I loved it. Nobody cared how much money I made; they only wanted to know if the food was good and went on to the next customer. We talked about our project for a while and worked on some plans for fundraising. But, like always, our talk eventually turned to Roxie’s job. She had to go soon to get ready for her night at work.

I wanted to beg her to take me with her, but she hadn’t said yes yet. I wouldn’t push; I knew something like that would take time. She couldn’t just drag anybody off the street in there. It was exclusive not only in the individuals who were allowed in, but who came to work there. I’d have to go through some kind of process, I was sure.

We said our goodbyes, and I drove back to my room at the hotel. I’d wanted

to get my own place, my own apartment, but hadn’t got around to it yet. If I stuck with my promise to take more time for myself, I’d invest in a place where my house plants wouldn’t die because I wasn’t around to water them. Until then, I’d stay at the hotel.

Maybe I’d even buy myself an RV, and travel around, see the country a little.

In time, I thought as I sank into my bed after a shower. For now, I wanted to experiment. I thought about Roxie and what she did. What did it feel like to have

a stranger touch you? Was it frightening? Was it empowering?

Did she watch those men, weak with desire for the body she loved, feel like she was the one with all the power, all the control? Did they beg to touch her? To kiss her? I hummed without meaning too, something alive all over again in my body. In the darkness, flat on my back, my legs opened, and I wondered … what would it feel like?

I’d been tempted to buy toys, to find out for myself, but had decided the real thing was worth waiting for. I turned my head toward the window, but I didn’t see anything. My sight was internal, caught on an image of a man flat on his back as he waited for me to … do things. I swallowed hard and tried to imagine what it would be like to do the things I’d seen in videos online.

I’d watched a lot of videos in the spare time I had at night. With my headphones on, my doors locked, and my laptop on the bed beside me, I’d watched the many things people could do together. Some of it was just nasty and degraded all involved, others had looked exciting, sensual, and some of it had seemed hedonistic.

Some of it, well … some of it was obviously the result of people losing all control and had seemed wildly erotic. I’d gone through lists: lesbian sex, straight sex, orgies, doms and subs; classic porn and new porn, some even labeled

“ladies porn”, meant for the discerning woman. I’d watched it all, and I’d found a lot of it intriguing, but maybe not for me. I always went back to one category, no matter what, though.

The ones where the women were subs to others. I liked the women who were

subs to other women, and the women who were subs to men. It was the sub part that attracted me. The look of pure joy on their faces as they served intrigued me far more than anything else did. It wasn’t something I’d ever tell to anyone; it was my secret, this need inside of me to be in control through subservience.

You’d think with the way I had lived my life in servitude to my family that I’d want to be the domme in this situation, but I didn’t. I wanted to be totally without shame, begging for release, as my body sang with life. I wanted my control to be in an expert’s hands, not my own. Maybe then I’d find freedom, though an odd form of it, I’d admit.

This wasn’t something I’d decided on suddenly. I’d thought about it for quite a few years now, and when I’d met Roxie and she told me about her club, I’d known I’d finally found a way into the world I’d been locked out of. Her world would be my world soon.

4

DYLAN

“W hat’s your poison?” the bartender asked, and I stared dully at

the man. A long brown beard adorned his face, tight khaki

pants clashed with the sophisticated haircut, and for some unknowable reason, suspenders over a white t-shirt with Pink Floyd emblazoned across the front. The whole look, clashed in my mind, and I stared at him.

Then a word popped into my head, and I relaxed. Hipster. “Beer please, thanks.”

He gave me a nod, passed along a beer, and I headed off in the direction of the stage. I had spent another day fruitlessly looking for land to develop. At this point, I’d even take a large house that I could turn into apartments, though, small ones. I wanted to be in this place, this part of the world, to get away from my life in Kansas.

I needed to be away from it all, but I wouldn’t get that, not until someone else came along to take the lead from me. My own child or someone I took under my wing. I might yet find a wife, settle down, have a child, but I didn’t see it coming. Not yet.

I was only thirty-two, I’d have time; I reminded myself as I took a seat.

Roxie was on the stage, weaving her magic as always. The woman was amazing

to watch, I’d give her that. I looked around and appreciated the décor, yet again.

It wasn’t trashy, the kind of place you’d expect it to be from the exterior. It was done tastefully, even if it was decorated in the cliché black and red colors that are so prevalent in such places.

The place was clean too; there was always someone going around discreetly with a bottle of disinfectant and roll of paper towels to clean up spills of all kinds. The tables and chairs were replaced if damaged, and not a chip was to be found on table tops. The paint was kept fresh, and everything was neat.

It was, however, dark, always dark. You could see to walk, it wasn’t like being in a cave in total blackness, but it was dark. The lights were saved for the stage. My eyes went back to Roxie, and I admired the way she climbed up the pole, performed a few twisting moves then made her way down the steel rod.

She was dressed in a pair of black hot pants, black combat boots, and a black corset. I didn’t know the song, but it had a powerful, frantic rhythm that drove her frenzied on the stage. She had the full attention of everyone in the room, there was no doubt of that. The routine came to an end, and applause and cheers filled the room.

It was 8:15 pm. Most of these men were single or had wives who stopped asking where their husbands spent their nights long ago. Freddy was there, and Roxie left the stage to join him with a smile. She saw me and quirked an eyebrow.

I twitched my glass at her and gave her a smile. She said something to Freddy and headed in my direction.

“Angel wasn’t for you then?” she asked and sat beside me at the table.

“No, too unsure of what she wanted. Poor girl, I think she’s left the place now.”

“She did, that’s why I asked. I thought she’d be your type?” We’d discussed the kind of arrangement I’d like to have, after I learned she was definitely taken by Freddy, and she’d kept an eye out for me.

“She would have been, if she had been able to make up her mind. She couldn’t, so I let it go. I need someone who knows what she wants, because I plan to give it to her.” I didn’t go into detail; we’d talked about it before. She knew what I wanted. A woman who would give me everything she had and then

pull out a little more to give.

There wasn’t necessarily a manager here at Elmo’s but if there was a problem, or a question needed to be answered, your best bet was to talk to Roxie,

I’d learned. She drew a lot of the members to come back night after night, but she’d been unattainable for most, and the ones who had her didn’t keep her for long. Until Freddy.

“Well, I might know someone who will meet your needs, but she’s not here

yet.” Roxie’s green eyes watched me, appraising. “I think she’s ready for a place like this; she says she is, but I have to be sure. She’s not, hmm.”

Roxie paused, looked away as if lost in thought, and then came back to me.

“She’s not the usual kind we bring into this place. We’re a classy place, don’t get me wrong, but most of the women we bring know exactly what life’s about.

They decide to come here knowing what it is they’ll get. I need to be sure she’s ready for that. She’s had an easy life, and well, I think she wants to start breaking her boundaries.”

“Oh?” I asked and leaned closer. “What’s her kind then?”

“Pampered,” she said immediately, and then felt guilty; I could see it in the way she winced. “She’s a good friend of mine, but she’s had a very sheltered and privileged life.”

“I see.” I sat back and tapped on the table top. I wasn’t sure that I wanted a daddy’s girl who wanted to rebel. I wanted a pet, yes, a woman to bend to my will until she had the best orgasm of her life, and I’d done that many times already, but did I want to start out with a spoiled princess?