Except, I never really had.
I was what the Thompson males wanted me to be. But now, with Mr. Dark, I
could be exactly what I wanted to be, while at the same time, I could still be what my nature made me … a sub. I wondered then if Stephanie had become a
new persona for me. She was almost real, almost something … other.
She took what she wanted, now that she knew what it was, and she’d sat there on her knees to suck that delicious dick like she’d been born to do it. I knew I was no expert, but he’d got off, and that was all the skill I’d needed, right? Well, to make it nice would take practice, but he’d reached the goal point anyway.
I didn’t feel bad about it. It felt erotically dirty actually, naughty, to think about the memory. I’d loved it when his tongue had been on me. I’d loved how he’d touched me, but I’d adored it when he put me on my knees. I might have said that wasn’t all I wanted to do, but he’d noticed that I’d said it and realized I’d wanted my own pleasure, but I really did want to do that with a man. And he’d given me that experience.
I wondered how many women knew you could get off without being naked?
My cheeks turned red, but I grinned anyway. He’d touched me with such strong, sure hands, even a little roughly a few times, and I’d loved it.
I guess we’d have to explore later, find out what it was I really liked. I kind of wanted him to try a whip on me, but not like, make me scream from pain and fear whip me. A nice sensual sting of pain.
I wanted more than that. I wanted to be a mess of begging need for relief, but I knew that would take time, and I didn’t think a few hours in the night was enough. Like my virginity, the point where we could engage in a long night of trusting BDSM was for the future. If he’d wanted one.
He’d said he was a three-day kind of man, though. I wondered if I’d give him my virginity then. He’d be gone after that, and I’d go back to my normal life, to pretend I was a daddy’s girl still. Would I want to give that to him if he was only going to leave me?
I wasn’t sure, even if I’d been certain last night. I was really impressed that he’d told me no, but it was an example of supreme control that he had. Not many men would have been able to say no when a woman was begging for their dick, I thought with a giggle.
“Fuucccck!” I droned out. “What am I going to do all day?”
I had nothing to do, at all, and so I decided to head out to the Boardwalk and see what was happening out there. I soon found myself lost in a horde of tourists, all of them trying to take in the sights. I hated vacations like that, where you had to cram everything into two days, and you’d go home exhausted.
That was why I hadn’t gone to Italy yet, even though I’d wanted to. I wanted to go when I had months to travel around, to slowly take in the sights and scenery. My family hadn’t given me that time. Even now, two of my brothers still didn’t quite get that I wasn’t the family doormat anymore.
Luckily, my parents had left me alone, but they were still away. That might change when they came home. I’d hoped not, it was hard enough to be upset with my brothers. I heard my phone buzz, saw it was Mason again, and turned my phone off. They had to learn to respect that I wasn’t going to be at their beck and call anymore.
I’d miss a call from Roxie, if I left the phone off, but I knew she’d be getting ready to perform and then spend her evening with Freddy. He’d been cuter than I’d thought he’d be, and I could see why she liked him now. The way his huge hand had wrapped around her bottom had made something like jealousy prick between my shoulders. I wanted that one day, that intimacy, that possessiveness that let you both be comfortable with such an intimate touch as an open
declaration.
I found myself at a clothing store and went in to look around. I bought a few bikinis, a couple sun dresses, and an umbrella for the beach that came with a beach mat. I decided to go out to the beach and sit for a while, even if I wouldn’t let my skin near the sun.
I found a shop that sold art supplies, along with other tourist needs, and bought a pad and pencil. I sat on the beach and did something I hadn’t done in years. I still had the knack for it, even if the lines weren’t so great now. The drawing came to life, and I was pleased with it, even if it was only a picture of the ocean and the golden sand in front of me.
It wasn’t the drawing that was important; it was that I’d had time to do it that mattered. Normally, I was too stressed to sit and put pencil to paper. I’d wanted to draw my nieces and nephews since they were born, but my schedule had been too hectic for that. I’d never had time, and if I did have a moment, I took care of my errands and the most pressing needs. Drawing and relaxation hadn’t been on that list.
Now, I’d have time to learn yoga and maybe even start to paint again. I could practice on the piano, if I wanted to, and maybe even read a whole book. I hadn’t stroked any keys in over a year, so I’d probably sound terrible, but who cared?
I had a new life, a new independence to get on with. So what if my brothers hadn’t quite figured that out yet? They would; they weren’t bad men after all.
Just assholes, I thought with a forgiving smile. They couldn’t help it if they’d been raised that way.
It was my father and mother’s fault the boys treated me like that. Later, when I’d been old enough to say I’d wanted to do something else, they’d all ignored me. They’d just bulldozed over my tiny voice and kept going on with their plans.
Not anymore. I’d change my phone number if that was what it took, but I would no longer be at their beck and call.
Not now that I was a woman. Well, almost, anyway. There was one final act
to complete before I could say my womanhood was accomplished. I’d wait for
Mr. Dark, and on that final night, if he still didn’t want to break the contract, I’d push him until he did exactly what I’d want him to. I wasn’t sure how yet, but I
had some time to study up on the whole thing. I’d be prepared for battle the next time I saw him.
13
DYLAN
I woke up slowly, confused about where I was. It didn’t feel like my
bed, but then, I was used to that. I traveled a lot, so being in an unfamiliar bed was common. Where was I?
My brain kicked in a little, and I remembered I was at Elmo’s, not at home.
I’d been with Stephanie and stayed the night with her. I could have gone home, but after what I’d put her through, I thought she’d need me to be there with her.
I’d rocked her world, and I wasn’t the least bit bashful about admitting it.
I swiped at my face to wipe the sleep away and then reached for her. My hand met empty air, and I turned my head to see the bed was empty. I thought perhaps she’d gone out for some reason, but then I saw a note on the table beside the bed. I rolled over, a smile on my face despite the fact that I’d woken up alone.
She’d been an intriguing little number, I’d give her that. I thought we’d have three consecutive days together, but she had gone home, so I guessed it would be different days. Or something like that … I needed coffee to think straight. I made a pot after I put my clothes on and washed up and thought about the night before.
