next move. “I’ll prove it to you.”

The monster tore a chunk from my brain and carved its mark. Shoot him.

My hands were free, the weight of my gun familiar. My arms rose, taking aim even as I screamed in furious denial.

Before Tito’s grin could disappear, I pulled the trigger.

CHAPTER 23

W olf left an hour later, leaving my gun with Kayden. I refused to pick it

up. Logically I knew it was stupid, but with the memories fresh and

vivid, I couldn’t touch it. Not yet. Maybe later.

“Wolf’s going to work with Rabbit on identifying Iceman.” Kayden flipped

the locks on the front door. The growl of Wolf’s engine rumbling to life filled the

quiet. A few moments later, the headlights flashed across the blinds. Kayden settled next to where I was curled up in the corner of the couch, huddled under a

blanket. “Talk to me.”

I cleared the lump that took up permanent residence in my throat and

croaked, “And say what?”

Instead of answering, he rubbed both hands over his face, once, hard, and then blew out a breath. He kept his focus on his hands as he curled and uncurled

them on his lap. “This isn’t the first time you’ve pulled the trigger.”

My laugh hurt as it came out harsh and brittle. “Not in cold blood. Battle is

different, you know that.” The insulating numbness started to crack. “I killed an

unarmed man.”

Saying it out loud made it too real. I threw off my blanket, jumped to my feet, and dashed down the hall to the bathroom. I barely made it in time.

Kayden pulled my hair back and held it as sweat ran hot down my cold face.

He didn’t say a word. What was there to say?

Although I knew that Iceman’s order ultimately controlled my actions, it

couldn’t erase the fact I wasn’t able to stop it. Regret, anger, resentment, horror,

all of it washed through me, until only exhaustion remained. The emotional overload had finally blown all my circuits, leaving me curiously grateful at the

resulting numbness.

Once my stomach was empty, Kayden handed me a cold washcloth. My

hands shook as I put it to good use. Finished, I set it carefully on the side of the nearby tub.

He tugged gently on my hair. “You need sleep.”

“I don’t think that’ll help.” If I closed my eyes, it wouldn’t be sleep that would find me.

“Fine.” He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. He waited as I brushed

my teeth. Then he curled an arm around my waist and led me to a bedroom.

“Then you’re going to at least lay down for a bit. God knows when you slept last.”

I rested my head against his shoulder. “There’s no fixing this.”

His arm tightened. “No, there isn’t.”

Breath shuddered through me. “What do I do?”

“Right now? Nothing.” He flipped on the bedroom light, then led me to the

bed. He didn’t let go of my hand as he pulled back the covers. “Get in.”

Staring at the sheets, I swayed on my feet.

“Cyn?”

I blinked and fought through the numbing haze. “Uh?”

“You need to get in bed.”

Right. Bed. I untangled my hand from his and fumbled at my jeans. “Can’t sleep in jeans.”

Hands brushed mine away and took over. Soon my jeans were puddled at my

feet. I crawled into bed and curled into a ball, staring unseeingly at the blinds on the window. My head was empty, but I didn’t dare close my eyes. Sounds drifted

from behind me, but I couldn’t find the energy to investigate. Eventually, Kayden clicked off the light, leaving the hall light to beat back the room’s darkness. Panic rose and I called out, “Don’t close the door.”

“You want me to leave the hall light on?”

“Please.”

He didn’t answer.