Lunchtime presented a challenge. She could barely eat, and an hour of free time allowed her to think too much. Don’t dump this on Lisa. Jen had thought Kentucky was an awful move for Liz and Matt. If they knew her predicament now, they’d laugh. Not that anything was settled. According to Doug, far from it.

But he’d been having a pretty fantastic year. If this was a roller-coaster ride, he was still climbing high, with no bottom in sight.

How could she deny him?

But how could she deny herself the pleasure of family? They needed each other

—in Boston. She’d made that clear to Doug, and she’d already compromised about New York. Wasn’t that enough?

She went home with a headache. And got a bigger one when Doug told her, “I’m flying out next Thursday night to meet with the agent and discuss the story with the studio guys.”

He worked fast. Too fast. “What about your teaching schedule?”

“I’ll only miss Friday office hours. I’ll take the red-eye Sunday night and be home in time for Monday classes. George is one of the best-connected people in Hollywood. We can’t miss this opportunity, Jenny.”

She began pacing. “Maybe you can’t, but I can. Things are going so well for us

now, Doug. We’ve figured out our lives. Broadway, Boston, Emily, Lisa and Mike and the twins and the babies. And even Eve. We have a plan. We have a path. You’re breaking my heart. I wish your happiness didn’t cause sadness for me.” Her eyes filled, and she couldn’t stop the tears. “Sorry.” She grabbed a tissue and headed to the sofa.

A deep quiet followed. She could hear the tick of the wall clock nearby. She could hear Doug’s soft voice.

“Then I’m not going. Sadness? You’re the last person on earth who I’d want to hurt. I vote for both of us to be happy.”

But she shook her head, logic taking over. “You have to go. I can’t be responsible for a missed opportunity of that scope. And besides, decisions made in the heat of the moment are never good.”

He gave a sharp nod. “Jenny, I guarantee that in the end, this will turn out to be simply an educational opportunity. I’m familiar with the industry, but I’ll just learn about it better from the inside.”

She shrugged. “Whatever.”

“The worst response in the world.”

##

She actually agreed with him. Her response had sounded childish, but it was the only thing she could produce while numb. Living with Doug was proving to be anything but calm.

The following Saturday morning, while Doug was away, she practiced with the chorus again, preparing for their annual winter concert. In the afternoon, she cleaned the apartment as though preparing for a military inspection. Not a speck of dust, not a crumb of bread dared to show itself. She changed linen, did laundry and reviewed her wardrobe. Maybe a shopping trip was in order.

She called Lisa. “Want to introduce Briana to the wonders of shopping with her mom and auntie?”

Lisa laughed. “Sounds great except for one thing.”

“What’s that?’

“Man, you’re getting forgetful. The Riders are at home tomorrow. We expected you and Doug to join us. I planned to take the kids and pick you up on the way to the stadium. Actually, Luis will be driving.”

Jen took a quick look at her calendar. Her sister was absolutely right. “I’ll be ready, but Doug’s away.”

“New York?”

“Not this time. I’ll fill you in tomorrow. No big deal.” She tried to make her voice light and airy, but her sister knew her too well.

“Okay…for now. We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Love you, Jen.”

“Back at you, Lis.”

She disconnected and fell back into a chair—a chair polished so brightly she could see her reflection in the wood. Two nights. He’d been away only two nights, and the place was so quiet. Too quiet. No jokes. No discussions, no one asking about her day. She missed him! True enough. But he made her nutsy.

Somehow, he pushed her most sensitive buttons. What had happened to her calm, planned and ordered life, the life she’d enjoyed only six months ago?

Doug happened.

Together, they were strong. Together, with their arms around each other, that was bliss. That was safety. So good.

But this pick-up-and-go business? The lack of routine, always changing goals?

So bad.

She called Lisa again. “One yes or no question, Lis, so listen hard. If Mike had been recruited by San Francisco or Kansas City or Miami…would you still have gone off with him? Packed us all up and moved?”

“Of course! Boston seemed a million miles from home anyway.”

A memory stirred. “Thanks, Lis.” Jen threw the phone on the table and ran to her

bedroom closet. Up high, high on a shelf was her box of keepsakes. She pulled it down and peered inside, not pausing to examine the trinkets of the past, simply searching for that college notebook. The one with the essay Doug had referred to countless times, the essay he’d read aloud to their class in his clear, beautiful voice. She took a deep breath and skimmed:

Most journeys are measured in miles. My longest journey began and ended inthe moment my parents died in an auto accident… In that moment, I leftchildhood behind and clawed my way up to adult status. At least I tried to. Lisawasn’t home, and the three younger kids ran to me first on that terrible, life-changing day. I held them close while we waited, and they clung to me likebabies to their mother. They were too little to know that I was a baby, too.

They’d needed her! Needed her to survive. No wonder she felt guilty leaving them. She continued reading.

Although the distance between Woodhaven and Boston is one- hundred miles, Imeasure my journey in light years. The wounds of childhood still bleed and myjourney continues.

She sat on the edge of her bed and re-read the last line. Her journey had continued and would continue. An exciting future beckoned. All she needed was to take that leap of faith with Doug. She browsed other essays. Geez, she’d been a mess. Why had Doug ever befriended her? What had he seen?

Laughter rose. The guy had already taken his leap of faith—with her!

She walked back into the living room and brushed her hand once more over her parents’ portrait. “Thanks for the advice, Mom and Dad. It feels right.”

##

“I slept on the plane, so now all I need is a quick shower and I’ll go to work.”

Jen could have stayed in his arms for the entire day, but she was dressed and ready to leave the apartment.

“We’ll talk tonight,” said Doug. “I hope you’ll be happy.”

“I hope we’ll both be happy.” She kissed him on the cheek and ran out the door.

“Don’t want to be late.”