“I went to your grandmother’s house a week after throwing you out. Little Carl had been asking for you and I took him to go see you.…I…” Carlton paused and took a shaky breath. “It was the same day you called Gran and told her that you wouldn’t be coming back.”

Latonya felt the blood freeze in her veins. The old bastard had lied to her. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Carlton everything that his grandfather had done to keep them apart. Carlton deserved to know the truth.

The fearful expression on the old man’s face crossed her mind and she paused. Suddenly, she realized that the fear had always been there masked in his hate. It was the fear, not the hate that caused the old man to threaten her and everyone she loved. She decided she would hold on to her information for the moment.

Neither the old man nor Carlton were important, anyway. The only important thing for Latonya was her children and getting them all out of Carlton’s house.

Shrugging with a nonchalance she didn’t feel, she stated, “Well, obviously I didn’t know at the time that my son was waiting for me at Gran’s house.”

Leaning forward in his chair, Carlton implored, “Why didn’t you come back once you found out that you were pregnant?”

The earnestness in his tone and the confused expression on Carlton’s face gave Latonya pause. It seemed as if he really was trying to figure out the past so that they could have some sort of future. The hard shell around her heart let her know there would be no future between her and Carlton. It didn’t matter that he had come looking for her. He shouldn’t have thrown her out in the first place.

“I knew that I was pregnant when I left. I knew a week before you kicked me out. I was waiting for the right time to tell you. When you came back from your business trip you were so cold and distant. I couldn’t find a moment special enough to share the news.”

His jaw dropped and his eyes bulged. “You knew that you were pregnant when you left here?”

“When you threw me out. Yes.”

Clenching his teeth, he bit out his words in a hiss. “How could you keep Terrence away from me like that?”

A short, sarcastic laugh fell from her mouth. The nerve of him! “How could you make me leave little Carl, make me choose between staying and fighting to be a part of his life and keeping my unborn child. No mother should have to make that kind of decision.”

“You could have given me time to calm down. My goodness! I saw you with him!” He leaped up from the chair and began to pace the room. “He had his hand on yours. You left the restaurant with your arms around him. Now you tell me that he was the one who financed your disappearance?”

Sucking her teeth, she folded her arms across her chest. “Right, right, and after being married to you for three years, I didn’t warrant any trust at all. You wouldn’t even listen to me. You just assumed that I was having an affair and you kicked me out.”

He stopped mid-pace and stared at her. His face fell and she saw his regret again. It confused her. She could count on one hand the amount of times she had actually seen Carlton Harrington III visibly show remorse for anything he’d done.

“I didn’t mean to get you upset. It’s just a lot to take in. I know that my actions made it hard for you to do things differently. But I guess I hoped that…I don’t know what I hoped back then. I just know that we have a chance to try to make things right now…if you’re willing?”

Latonya shook her head. There was no need to feed him false promises. Even though he realized that he was wrong, he still hadn’t apologized. She couldn’t stay with a man who couldn’t say he was sorry for breaking her heart and separating her from her child. As soon as she could, she was finding a place and she was taking her children with her. “I can’t stay here, Carlton. I want to be a part of our sons’ lives, but I cannot stay here.”

He sighed before sinking down in his chair. “Latonya, you just sat downstairs and told our son that you wouldn’t leave him again.”

Don’t worry. I have no plans to leave either of my sons! “I told him that I would never be far away. I intend to stay in Miami and I intend to be a part of my sons’ lives, but I will not remain here. As soon as I can I am finding my own place.” She didn’t think she could stay under the same roof with him as long as it would take for them to work out a suitable custody situation.

She also didn’t know for sure that he would keep the children in the United States if she left. Letting him know her plans to eventually leave was a huge risk on her part. Her heart stopped at the thought of what he could do if he wanted to stop her. He could easily take her children back to the Bahamas. She almost thought it better to lie and feed into his hopes for some sort of reconciliation until she found a way to steal the kids and hide away for good.

Even as she thought it she realized she couldn’t keep her sons away from their father. He loved them as much as she did. She had to find a way to get him to see that they could share custody and not be together as a couple.

Carlton felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He couldn’t lose her again. “Can’t we just try to live under the same roof for the moment, for the sake of the children?” He wasn’t fazed by the pleading sound in his voice. Even though he couldn’t bring himself to actually say it, he wanted Latonya to know that he was sorry.

“Were you thinking about the sake of the children when you kicked me out? Don’t try to run a head trip on me, Carlton. How can you really expect me to stay here after everything that has happened?”

He sighed. He didn’t want her to leave. He realized that he couldn’t force her to stay. She had to do what made her feel comfortable. He had to do what he knew he must. Even if she left, he planned to get his wife back. He would woo her until it became unmistakable that they belonged together. Working at her pace and taking her needs into consideration was all a part of accomplishing that. He knew what he had to do even though he didn’t want to do it. “Do what you feel you must, Latonya. The boys will miss you if you go.” I will miss you if you go. “But if you really must go, then go.”

She turned and dropped her arms to her side. “I’m not making any promises, Carlton. I can’t say with certainty that I will stay here. But I can say that I won’t leave my children.”

“Latonya, I have no idea what the future will bring. I know that we both need some time. However, there are two little boys involved and we don’t have the luxury of taking that time completely apart.” He placed his hands in his pockets. “We’re a family. And we should live under the same roof.”

“Fine, as long as we’re clear on boundaries.”

“Oh, I think we’re crystal clear.” He let out a sigh of relief, happy that she would be staying for now.

“Good. Well, I’m going to freshen up for dinner.” Getting up from bed, Latonya stood still for a moment.

“Fine. You’ll find all of your clothing in the walkin. We shipped your things from New Jersey. Your old clothing is still here, and I had Frances’s Boutique send over some of her latest designs in your size.” He hoped he hadn’t been too presumptuous. He figured she would need some clothes, even though he had no idea if she would want to stay.

Latonya narrowed her eyes briefly before replying. “Thanks. I guess I’ll see you downstairs, then.”

As he walked toward the door, he turned and glanced back before he made it out. Carlton smiled a slow, rueful smile as he allowed himself a small measure of hope. “Things are going to be okay, Tonya. I really believe that we’re going to be okay.”

Chapter 19

The quiet and somber mood of dinner didn’t exactly coincide with the supposed celebratory nature of the evening. Conversations were stilted and strained; no one knew what to say to one another. Latonya didn’t know what to say to Gran, her sister or Jillian. Glad that Pamela had fed the boys earlier and they didn’t have to sit through all the adult tension, she tried not to count down the seconds until she could return to her bedroom and end the forced reunion.

When she could take the silence no longer, she glanced at her sister. “So, Cicely, I hear you’ve finished graduate school. How did you like it? What are you doing now?”

“Well, I ended up getting a master’s in public policy. Carlton used his connections to get me a nice position in the mayor’s office.”

Latonya had no idea why Carlton’s actions surprised her. She had no idea how she felt about him maintaining a connection to her family and helping her sister. Latonya’s shock must have shown on her face, because Gran became more than happy to fill in the silence.

“Carlton has been very kind and very helpful to us in spite of the way you behaved. He didn’t hold it against us that you left your child as if you were some wild animal in the jungle. He still let us be a part of little Carl’s life so that he would know his family.” The clipped and judgmental tone that Gran used cut Latonya to her core.

“Now may not be the best time for this, Evelyn.” The elder Harrington, who hadn’t even looked up from his plate during the entire tirade, opined, clearly more concerned about the propriety of polite dinner conversation than the attack on Latonya.

Cringing at the sound of his voice, she made a point of glaring at the old man before turning her gaze to Gran. He bristled under her glare and kept his eyes on his plate from then on. How dare he try to regulate the conversation after his role in the chain of events!

She cleared her throat and tried taking deep calming breaths before she spoke. She respected her grandmother more than any other person in the world and she never wanted to disappoint the woman.

“I understand you have certain opinions about what happened, about what you think I did, and how I should have behaved. And you are more than entitled to them, Gran.” Latonya noticed that the timbre of her voice was shaky and realized that tears were not going to be far behind.

I have to hold it together.

Crying at the dinner table in front of everyone was not an option. Steeling herself, she continued, “Gran, you know I love you. I respect you and I would never want to do anything that would shame you or make you think poorly of me. I’m sorry that I disappointed you. I really am. But this is truly the last time I will apologize for it and that is the only thing I will apologize to you for. I owe little Carl other apologies, and we will work that out between us. I made a decision three years ago that I felt I had to make at the time—”

Gran’s voice broke as she cut Latonya off. “You didn’t contact us again. Your sister and I were so worried. If it hadn’t been for Carlton and little Carl, I might have had another stroke.” Gran’s tone softened as she spoke. “I swear, Peanut, when you came through that door, I was torn between dropping to my knees and thanking the Lord, or grabbing you and shaking you for scaring me like that.” Glancing up toward the ceiling, she closed her eyes. A single tear came down Gran’s cheek, and Latonya knew that her own attempts to get through the conversation without crying were a wash.

She had never seen Gran cry. The woman was the epitome of the strong black women who kept on keeping on. Anger, righteous indignation and steadfast strength were traits that personified Evelyn Stevens, not tears. The fact that she had caused Gran to cry almost made Latonya shed tears of her own.

Seemingly disturbed, Carlton spoke. “Why don’t we just table this discussion and just be happy that Latonya is back now and we have time together as a family to make a fresh start.”

Although somewhat certain that Carlton was only trying to be helpful, attempting to manage the small situation that had interrupted a staid and calm family dinner at the Harrington residence, Latonya couldn’t help but think that he had never been made to take his share of the blame for anything that happened.

She also realized that until he did she would never be able to forgive him and move on. The thought of that made her sad, because she knew that the day Carlton Harrington III apologized would be the day that skiing, ice fishing and ice hockey became leisure-time activities in hell.

Forcing her attention back on Gran, she said, “Gran, you’re right. Everything you’ve said is right. I never wanted to cause you stress. I’m sorry.”