"Pete's saying no, but he means yes. We'll work it out."
"And if you don't?"
He shrugged. "At least we'll have brought as many families up here as we can. We'll survive here."
"Is that why you never went back to Earth once you got here? You've been worrying about this moment?"
Kinsman looked off into the darkness. "I never thought of it. Not consciously, anyway. Maybe you're right. Maybe I have been getting myself ready for this."
"Then your medical record is faked?"
He turned back toward her. "How do you know about my medical record?"
Her voice sounded faintly amused. "I have access to the personnel computer."
"H'mm."
"There's nothing secret about your file, is there?"
"No ..." But he felt all the old fears welling up inside him.
"The file does go blank, just as Dr. Faraffa said. It makes you very mysterious."
He did not reply.
"And there's a medical notation about a heart condi- tion."
"Officially," Kinsman explained slowly, "I'm supposed to have a heart condition that makes a full Earth gravity dangerous for me. It's only a little hypertension, but Jill Meyers wrote it into my file so that I can stay here in Selene indefinitely."
"Officially," Diane murmured.
"Unofficially," he went on, "it's because I don't want to give Murdock or any of the Earthside brass a chance to call me back and keep me down there. I decided a long time ago that this is where I want to be. This is my home."
He could sense Diane shaking her head. "So those are the official and unofficial reasons. Now what are the real reasons?"
The fear was still inside him, but it felt strangely muted, distant, fading.
"Chet," Diane said, tracing a finger along the length of his thigh, "you haven't told me anything you wouldn't tell Pat Kelly or one of your other buddies. We've known each other a long time. I don't care about your politics or your Air Force brass. I want to know what's going on inside your head."
