Kinsman hunched forward in his chair, clasped his long- fingered hands together. Looking up at her, he asked, "Have you ever killed someone?"
Marian Campbell moved her head the barest centimeter to indicate no.
"Lots of Air Force officers have," Kinsman said. "But at remote distances. You press a button and a machine falls out of the air or a building on the ground explodes. I killed her in hand-to-hand combat. I saw her face."
"You were doing your duty . . ."
"I could have done my duty without killing her!"
"In hindsight."
He ran a hand through his hair. "You ever hear of Richard Bong?"
"Who?"
"I've had the chance to read up on Air Force history quite a lot over the past few months," Kinsman said. "Dick Bong was a fighter pilot in World War Two. In the Pacific. Our top ace. Shot down forty Japanese planes in the first couple of years of the war. All in aerial combat, man-to-man victories, not strafing planes on the ground,"
Colonel Campbell regretted that she had not turned on the tape recorder in the bottom drawer of her desk. Too late now, she chided herself.
"His commanding general came over to the island where he was stationed to pin a medal on him. The Japanese pulled an air raid on the base in the middle of the ceremonies. Bong and the general dived into the same slit trench. One of the Jap planes was hit by antiaircraft fire and started to burn. The Japanese pilot didn't have a parachute. Or maybe it just didn't open. Anyway, he jumped out of his burning plane and fell to the airstrip like a rock. He hit the ground just a few feet in front of Bong and the general."
"But what does—"
"Bong never shot down another plane for the rest of the war. He flew combat missions, but he couldn't hit anything with his guns."
"I see," Colonel Campbell said softly. "I understand."
"It makes a difference," said Kinsman. "It's one thing to kill by remote control. It's something else when you see who you've killed, face-to-face."
"And you think that's what's bothering you?"
Kinsman nodded.
"But you can handle it now?" she prompted him.
"As long as I'm not put into combat missions," he answered.
"And the fact that the person you killed was a woman has nothing to do with it?"
