“You can borrow my reindeer dressing gown…” Billy wriggled out of it. It was ginormous and fluffy and had a light-up nose. And had never been washed. Not exactly the first date hot look I was hoping for. “I don’t mind not wearing it. For one day.”
“Bils, you’re the best.” I tried to look grateful. “But no one can rock it like you, so you better hang on to it.” But what could I wear for the date? Or for a meet that might be a date? HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW?! I’d never been on either?! And I only had seven hours to mentally prepare. I needed another fifteen years at least.
Grace had to intervene and choose my outfit over video call. Converse, black jeans and a red fluffy cardigan with gold tree-shaped buttons that she’d left at mine “in case”. Festive, but not too “walking decoration”.
Thanks to a pep talk from Grace last night I was ready to dip my toe into the festive water. Talking it through had been terrifying, but I had to accept I couldn’t hide things any more. Elf Girl was out of control. “Love Your Elf!” was in the top ten. My private profile was getting more and more tags every day. Even the old man in the Post Office had sung the song when I’d popped in to get loo roll.
So, we’d decided if Elf Girl was getting out of control, it was time I took control of Elf Girl.
No more hiding. It was time to live my best elf life – Christmas jumpers and all.
But … one small pointy-shoe step at a time. I wasn’t ready for the whole world to know, so I was starting with people who already did. First up – The POWR. I still hadn’t heard anything from them so I’d messaged Zaiynab to apologize for not telling them about the whole Brussel Shout situation and asking if I was still in the band. And … I hadn’t got a reply. Or a reply to my follow-up checking she got the message, even though we both knew she had.
I just had to hope Ru might be a bit more understanding. Grace was right. I couldn’t be cross about him not being that open about his life when I was doing the same. Today wasn’t just going to be about finding out who the real Ru was. Dragging him into the Christmas spirit with me. It wasn’t even about Grace’s suggestion (repeated suggestion) of engineering a Christmassy snog in Trafalgar Square by the tree.
Today was the day I came clean about my elfy truth. No more Dasher. No more hiding who I really was. It was time for Ru to meet Molly Bell. Lover of crisps and dogs in outfits.
My heart sped up just thinking about it. And if Ru didn’t want to see me again? I’d at least I know he was just a massive Simon after all. And have a big cry into my very absorbent Christmas jumper.
NO!
I meant … walk away, head held high, and never think of him again, because he didn’t deserve someone like me. Yes. That’s what Grace had said.
I packed my outfit carefully in my bag. I never folded anything, but today was special. Today required folding. Today was a gooood day. This morning I’d finally had a breakthrough with a venue for Grampy G’s party. The yurt place had said it was looking possible and I should give them a ring and confirm tomorrow morning. FINALLY. In the nick of time, we had a venue! Tomorrow I could tell Grace the new plan and let the guests know.
My phone lit up. Who was messaging me at 8 a.m. on a Saturday?
Ru: London says hi…
I grinned.
“Did Dad send you another picture of his big toe hair?” Billy asked innocently. She was the cutest.
“Even better.”
It was the view from Ru’s room. A perfect snapshot of lights down an empty Carnaby Street, a huge Christmas tree at the end and … humble brag much!?
Fine. Two could play that game.
Me: So does Bromster.
I snapped the view from my window. Cute cottages with every window decorated, our village green with tiny Christmas trees dotted about, the village lights designed by the primary school kids … oops … and Mum in her dressing gown, inspecting the herd of mini reindeer which had now inched all the way to our front door. Hope he didn’t realize they were ours.
Ru: Hell-oooo! You didn’t tell me you lived in Sleigh Another Day.
Me: You didn’t tell me you’d seen it?!
Ru: That’s cos I haven’t. But tell me I’m wrong?!
But Mum was beeping Cara’s horn and I’d been so busy doing motivational speeches in the mirror, I’d failed to actually get changed. Or showered. I was just going to have to travel down in my Christmas pudding PJs and matching slippers and get ready in our hotel. Mr W had given the slippers to me and Grace as a thank you for all the money we’d been raising for Holly Hospice. With the auction we were up to almost one thousand five hundred pounds, and it was closing this afternoon just in time for the meet and greet tonight!
Much to Billy’s delight, I took her up on the offer of her dressing gown after all, threw my suitcase in the boot and jumped in the front seat. Mum gave me a proud look. What had I done?
“Well, doesn’t my middle daughter just look perfect for her ‘friend’.”
Shudder. For days now she’d been using air quotes whenever she said “friend”.
I stared out my window, already feeling sick with nerves. I wished Grace was travelling down with us, not catching the train tomorrow after dancing. Trying to calm myself, I ran through the plan we’d made.
•2 p.m.: Arrive at hotel
•3–5 p.m.: Unpack, destress, listen to calming rain sounds, get ready, motivational mirror talks
•5 p.m.: Meet Ru at hotel – calm, relaxed and full of excellent chat (or ready to look at list of excellent chat ideas)
Perfect. And the long journey meant time to work on the conversation topics Grace and I had come up with last night. I looked in my notepad.
•Is American school like on Netflix?
•Best festive thing he’s seen in the UK so far?
•
•What do his parents actually do? (**good chance to bring up The Brussel Shouts???)
•
I had to not let Grace’s suggestions get lodged in my brain in case they popped out.
