There WAS something going on between them after all.

I grabbed on to the boat railing.

“C’mon, guys,” The presenter wasn’t letting this go. “The world is dying to know?”

Me? I was just dying.

I held my breath, willing there to have been a mistake. But all Jay did was look down and laugh.

“No comment.” Is what he said. NO COMMENT?! He knew I was at this event today, and he knew I, and the whole world, would be seeing these pictures, but I guess he also knew he’d been caught out.

“So if Maeseph is real” – the presenter looked right into the camera, loving every second. Thank goodness I was on a boat, so I could be sick overboard – “yup, you heard it here first, cos this picture does. Not. Lie! Then does this mean the girl next door you were spotted in London with yesterday is just a friend?”

And that’s when it came up. The selfie of Jay and me on the bridge from yesterday, as posted by SleighAllTheDaysFans. My face had been blurred but it didn’t matter. Jay knew EXACTLY what it was.

Seeing it somehow hurt even more than the other photo. He’d told me it was just for us, but he’d clearly been sharing it with whoever. Probably laughing about it with Maeve. And now the world was seeing it.

He did a double take. I bet he did.

This almost hurt more than the kiss. And as much as I’d been kidding myself, I knew for a fact I couldn’t trust a word he’d ever said.

“We’re going to need details,” the presenter said. Everyone on the boat “oooohed”, but I was silent.

“Oh, her?” Jay looked into the camera with his big brown eyes, and smiled. “She’s just some fan.”

He really was a much better actor than everyone said.

Forget the boat.

Stop the world. I want to get off.

CHAPTER

22

In my mind, I was at home, under my duvet, crying my eyes out and working my way through a bottomless bucket of Twiglets.

In reality, I was pushing through millions of tourists, trying not to ugly cry.

Stupid Joseph. Stupid Christmas. Stupid me.

How had I been so foolish? Of course Joseph hadn’t ever really liked someone like me.

I’d ditched the interview Elijah had wanted me to do. He was going to be even more fuming with me, but if he asked for us to pay for the hotel, I was just going to have to do the drying up for the next ten years to pay Mum and Dad back. But I was DONE. I was never, ever, going to have anything to do with this stupid film or that stupid song or stupid Joseph D Chambers ever again.

At least Grace was almost at the station. Her phone had been going to voicemail for a while, which happened last time the train got near London.

Eurgh! I wished everyone would stop taking selfies with the Christmas lights and get out of my way! But I also wished Ru wasn’t a massive lying toenail … and look how that turned out.

Not Ru. Joseph. Joseph D-on’t-Believe-A-Word-I-Say Chambers.

I did a long blink to try and plug my tears in. But every time I closed my eyes, I just saw that picture of Joseph and Maeve again. And I kept hearing all the thing everyone on the boat had cheered. “Hottest couple”, “perfect love story”, “Maeseph for ever”.

I’d had to stop in a portaloo to have a power cry. What an idiot I’d been to think Joseph really liked me. Had him and Maeve been going on the whole time? Had a single thing he’d said to me been true?

I hated that I’d really believed he liked the real me. He probably found the whole thing hilarious.

Nope. The crying might be about to start again. And I didn’t want to be late to meet Grace.

That would be the stupid cherry on the stupid Christmas cake.

We’d planned to have an outdoor river picnic, and I’d even sneaked some breakfast pastries out of the hotel. Grace loved a mini croissant. And there she was!

“Graceeee!” I yelled, waving from the barriers at the platform. I’d made it in time to see her get off the train. But she wasn’t heading towards one of the exit gates. “Grace!!!!!” I yelled again, but she was marching towards the ticket booth – and she didn’t look happy.

“Grace?” I yelled even louder. Phew. She saw me and walked towards me. Man, it was SO good to see her. But why did she look so unhappy? Had she already heard about Joseph and this was her solidarity rage? “Everything OK? You need a hand with anything?”

She stopped, and folded her arms.

“I’m not staying long.” I knew that – we were only here for one night. “I just got off the phone to my dad.”

“Is he all right?” Suddenly all the sadness I’d had about Joseph paused. Seeing Grace like this rugby tackled it way down the priority list.

She shrugged. “Sure. He was letting me know he’d got his work to sponsor some pretty amazing lights for Grampy G’s Grotto.” Wasn’t this a good thing? “And he’d just been to drop them off at the village hall to get a head start.” But that’s when I remembered. Like a snowball in the face. I’d never told Grace about the village hall. “And they said you’d known from the start that we never had it booked?”

Oh no. Oh no, oh no!

“Oh my goodness, I meant to tell you…”

She raised her eyebrows. “And?”

I had to explain. I hadn’t done it to ruin things. I’d done it so it was one less thing for her to worry about.

“Don’t worry. I can explain. I was just waiting until…” Until I had the replacement. Oh no. A shudder went through me as I realized … I was meant to ring the yurt place this morning. Twelve p.m. was the cut off to confirm. And I’d completely and utterly forgotten.

I didn’t have a replacement, did I?

“Until?” Grace waited for me to explain. To say there had been a mix-up. That it was all under control.

But the reality was, I’d really messed up – I’d been so caught up with Joseph.

“Grace, I’m SO sorry … I know it looks really bad but I promise, I can explain.”

“All I need you to explain” – she was speaking so slowly, so calmly, her voice thick with anger – “is do we have somewhere to hold Grampy G’s party? In forty-eight hours’ time. Or do I have to head back to Bromster right now to tell everyone – all my family, Grampy G’s friends in Holly Hospice that were looking forward to it, all the people travelling down, flying down! – that instead of celebrating Grampy G, I’ve just wasted their time? And probably money too.”

Things with Joseph were bad, but nothing, NOTHING, felt as bad as me letting Grace down… Letting Grampy G down.

“Grace, I’m so sorry. I can sort it. I promise!”