But it didn’t hit the floor.
No, it hit the floor after slicing its way through something long and green coming out of the door.
The whole place fell silent. Until a piercing noise shattered it.
“MAAAEEEEVVVEEEE!”
CHAPTER
4
Good news: I hadn’t killed one of Stormy’s dogs. Absolutely terrible news: I had slashed Maeve’s dress. Maeve Murphy.
Star of the film. Formerly in a body-hugging dress with a train. Now in two long bits of dangling skirt. One bit firmly skewered under my sign.
I froze. Maeve froze.
Sadly, the Maevenators very much un-froze, and surged towards me. The way they were waving their giant candy canes told me I had 0.06 seconds before I got bludgeoned to death with bits of gingerbread house.
There was only one thing for it … flee! I dropped the sign, shook off Stormy’s dog, and with a yell of “sorrrrrry!” ran towards the door as if my life depended on it.
It probably did.
I sprinted into the cinema and slammed the door behind me. Where could I hide?! I raced down a short corridor, then another, desperate to put distance between me and what had happened.
What had happened?!
Had I really ruined Maeve’s dress?
Please tell me I hadn’t ruined the premiere too?! Yup, now my running was world record speed. Thank goodness my hoodie had been up. Please let no one have recognized me.
Checking no one was following me, I slumped against a wall and opened my phone. Phew. Nothing from Grace other than asking where I was. This was a good sign. If this had made the news, Grace would be the first one to know.
“Goody bag?” A man thrust a small paper bag into my hands, ignoring what a sweaty, shell-shocked panting mess I was. “Don’t forget to rate and review the film! Five stars is what we want.”
There was no time to reply – security guards were behind him. My blood ran cold. Were they coming for me? I turned my back and pretended to be on a very important – and sudden – phone call. “I SAID BICHON FRISES NOT CAVAPOOS!!! DO YOU NOT HAVE EYES?!” a lady’s voice screamed. “AND RED M&MS. NOT PURPLE. I’M NOT A MONSTER! AND YES I KNOW THEY DON’T MAKE PURPLE ONES, THAT’S WHY YOU HAVE TO ORDER AHEAD!!” A ball of bright pink feathers, a Stormy in the middle of them, whooshed into the corridor. “HOW AM I MEANT TO WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS?!”
But that distraction was just what I needed, and as Stormy started ranting about “the smell of ice giving her migraines”, I slipped away to somewhere even safer. The loos. Hallelujah! They were empty. Time to try and process the last five minutes.
I leant over the sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror.
I was a total mess.
And on the other side of this door were the world’s most glamorous celebrities – and my family on the loose.
And Maeve in a ripped dress.
How had I really thought I could get through this and stay invisible?
Eurgh. I splashed cold water on my face, checked the loo seat was down and collapsed on to it.
But my phone was vibrating.
Grace: Just got inside. WHERE ARE YOU????
And then again:
Mum: You missed out on a lovely interview! Meet us by the pickle abs mix please XXX
I think she meant pick ’n’ mix.
Mum: pickle abs mix
Mum: ARGH
Mum: Pickle abs
She gave up.
Fun Sponge: I will NEVER stop laughing at that.
Oh great. Tess had sent a photo of me in full sprint mode.
Only Grace was getting a reply.
Me: Staff loos. Tell no one. Can I meet you after the film?
Grace: You sure?? There’s free Ben and Jerry’s. AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.
