“Shhh,” he said, anticipating my question. “Not yet.”

It was his fingers that brought me to a shuddering orgasm. I moaned so loud I told him I hoped his neighbors weren’t home. Daniel just laughed.

I stepped out of the tub first and picked up the towel he’d left on the floor.

“Let me get you a clean one,” Daniel said, slipping out of the bathroom and returning with two more fluffy white towels. I dropped the wet towel I’d been using onto the bathtub and wrapped the dry one around myself. He wrapped his towel around his shoulders instead of his waist. I couldn’t help but look, and I was not disappointed with the view.

“Would you like some help with that?” I asked.

He glanced down at his erection then smiled up at me. “What did you have in mind?”

“What do you like?” I asked, hoping he wasn’t going to suggest something I’d never tried before.

“I’d like to be inside you.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

Chapter 8

We never made it to a restaurant for breakfast. Instead, Daniel toasted two bagels, which we ate together in bed. I’d thought my bed was comfortable, but his had mine beat. I felt like I was lying in a high-end hotel bed—firm but with lots of cushioning and super soft sheets.

“Be careful,” I said when he brought me a second cup of coffee with the milk and sugar already stirred in. “I could get used to this.”

He smiled. “That’s the idea.”

“So, this was all part of your master plan?”

He set his coffee cup down on the nightstand and joined me under the duvet. “No, I thought you’d want to take things slow.”

“Because I’m a nice girl?” I giggled. Did men still think that way?

“No, because of your husband.”

I froze. I hadn’t thought of Jonah since last night. But now he was suddenly in the forefront of my mind and a wave of grief washed over me.

“Uh oh,” Daniel said. “I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?”

“No, it’s fine,” I said, pulling the duvet up to my chin.

“You mentioned him earlier, so I thought it was okay. I don’t know what the rules are. I’ve never been in this situation before.”

“Me either.”

“So, we’re both virgins.”

“Except for the fact that I actually gave birth to a child.”

That killed the mood. Daniel rolled over onto his back putting a space between us.

“Sorry,” I said.

“You don’t need to apologize.”

Maybe not, but my comment hung in the air between us. “I should go.”

Daniel rolled onto his side and reached for my hand. “I don’t want you to go. I just want you to give me some ground rules.”

“Ground rules?”

“Guidance. So I know what not to say. I don’t want to keep upsetting you.”

He was the one who was upset, not me. But his request was not unreasonable. I just didn’t think it was one I could fulfill. “There are no rules, Daniel. The grief just comes on like that sometimes. Suddenly and without warning. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m in tears. My therapist says it’s normal.”

“You have a therapist?”

I nodded. I almost said it was one of the conditions of my release from the Wellstone Center, but I caught myself in time.

“And that helps?” he asked.

“Some.” It didn’t lessen the grief any, but it gave it context and made me feel normal again.

“I’m glad.”

We laid together in silence while I wondered how much longer I needed to stay before I could get up and leave without him getting upset with me again.

Then he said, “I hope this isn’t the last time I’m ever going to see you.”

He sounded sincere and that surprised me. I couldn’t imagine Daniel had a hard time finding women to date. In my Before life he would’ve checked off all the boxes on my list. But in my After life, I no longer had a list. I wasn’t even sure I was ready to start dating again, and I certainly wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. The best part of our date had been the sex. But if that’s all he wanted from me, then maybe this could work. “It won’t be if you don’t want it to be,” I said.

“I don’t want to keep upsetting you.”

“You didn’t upset me. I just get upset sometimes. And that’s not going to change no matter how much therapy I have.”

“Then I don’t want to keep saying the wrong thing.”

“You didn’t. There is no wrong thing. And no right thing.” But I could tell from the sour expression on his face he wasn’t satisfied with my answer. I sighed. If I wanted to have sex with him again, and I did, then I’d have to give him what he wanted from me. “Okay, ground rules. Don’t raise the topic with me, but I might sometimes raise it with you. I can’t pretend my husband and child never existed, but I don’t want to talk about them all the time either. I’m trying to live in the present, not the past, but sometimes the past intrudes on the present and there’s nothing I can do about it. If this is going to work, you have to be okay with that.”

“I’m okay with it.”

“Then we’re good.” I smiled.

In response his penis stood straight up, pitching a tent in the sheets. We both laughed.

Daniel said, “He knows there’s a beautiful woman in his bed.”

“I’m sure I’m not the first.”

“No,” Daniel admitted. “But maybe the last.”