“Sure, that’d be great.”
“You don’t have to,” I said. “I know it’s late.”
“No, I want to. I definitely want to.”
That made one of us. But it was too late to reverse course now. I got out of the car and led Daniel into my house.
“Whoa,” he said, staring open-mouthed at the eighty-six inch television which took up most of one wall of the living room.
“Blame it on my husband.” I’d mentioned Jonah and Amelia over dinner, so Daniel knew they had once existed but he didn’t know much more.
“He had great taste in TVs. And women.”
I looked away, embarrassed, and said the first thing that came into my head. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Sure, whatever you’re having.”
I hadn’t planned on drinking anymore tonight. I’d drank too much already. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Sounds great.”
I left him with the television, which he didn’t turn on, and I returned a few minutes later with our coffees. He drank his black while I stirred milk and sugar into mine. I hadn’t even taken a sip yet when he said, “I’d really like to kiss you. May I?”
The question threw me. Did people ask permission now? I guessed after Me Too they did. As with inviting him in, I didn’t think and just answered reflexively. “Uh, sure.”
He placed his hands, which were still warm from the coffee mug, on my shoulders and leaned in. His lips were as soft as they looked, and when his tongue touched mine, my long-dormant desire returned.
Tim was right. Some things you don’t forget.
I thoroughly enjoyed kissing Daniel. The panic didn’t set in until he suggested we go upstairs.
Chapter 6
“What’s wrong?” Daniel asked when I abruptly pulled away from him.
My heart was pounding so hard I wondered if he could hear it too. “Nothing,” I replied. I wasn’t about to explain the last time I took a man up to my bedroom the evening ended with my attempted suicide.
Daniel looked confused. “Am I misreading the signals here?”
“No.”
He looked even more confused. “So…you just don’t like beds? You’re into other furniture?”
Now I was confused, which helped lessen my panic because it gave me something else to focus on. Had I missed the latest trend on social media? Beds were out but bathtubs or couches or kitchen tables were in? “What other furniture?”
“You tell me. I’ll go wherever you want.”
That sparked an idea. “How about your place?”
“My place? Now?”
“Yes.”
Daniel stared at me with his mouth open. I needed to explain.
“I haven’t been with anyone since my husband died and…well…” I felt a bit guilty making him think my reticence to take him to my bedroom was all about Jonah, although he was part of it. But it was just as much about Jake and the suicide attempt. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to sleep with someone in that bedroom without thinking about everything else that happened in that bedroom too.
“I’m so sorry, Grace. I didn’t realize. Of course, we can go back to my place.”
We passed the Stoned Crab on the drive to Daniel’s, and I wondered why he hadn’t suggested we go back to his house to begin with. He lived much closer to the restaurant than I did.
Because he wasn’t thinking you were going to sleep with him tonight.
I wasn’t thinking it either until we’d started kissing. But there really was no reason to wait. Who knew what the future would bring? Carpe diem!
Don’t give me that carpe diem crap. You’re just terrified of sleeping with someone new and want to get it over with, preferably while drunk.
Yeah, that too.
Daniel drove up the steep hill that ran parallel to the ocean. It plateaued in the neighborhood everyone referred to as the Bluffs. The homes in this area were older than the homes in my neighborhood, but their proximity to the coastline made them much more valuable, even the ones that didn’t have ocean views.
Daniel pulled into the underground garage of a low-rise condominium, and we rode the elevator to the third floor in silence. I remembered looking at a rental in this building when Jonah and I had first moved to Santa Veneta. The complex was built in the early 1970s and I was expecting the same harvest gold kitchen countertops and ugly shag carpeting in the unit Jonah and I had viewed (and rejected). But Daniel’s apartment had been completely remodeled with hardwood floors, an updated kitchen, and recessed lighting.
“This is really nice,” I said, stopping at the quartz countertop breakfast bar adorned with three modern barstools.
“It’s nicer in the daytime,” he said. “It was the view that sold me on this place, and the fact I can ride my bike to the beach. Can I get you something to drink? Another coffee?”
I could use the caffeine since I was already getting sleepy. But my buzz was wearing off, and if I was going to go through with this, I needed more alcohol. “Do you have any wine?”
