That stopped me in my tracks. I managed to finish pulling my shirt over my head, but I wasn’t sure what to do next. My jeans were still crumpled on the floor next to me, but reaching for them now, after his declaration, seemed like the wrong move. “I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back.”
No, but he clearly wanted me to. No one says I love you or even I think I’m falling in love with you without wanting it reciprocated.
He kicked my jeans further down the hall and stood in front of me. When he placed his hands on my shoulders, I could feel the heat from his palms through my thin cotton shirt. “I’m not trying to rush you. I know you still have some things to work out.”
That was one way to describe never-ending grief.
“I just need to know I have a chance.”
“There’s no one else, Daniel. There hasn’t been since Jonah died.” But as the words left my mouth, I thought of Jake and the night of my suicide attempt. But Jake was no threat to Daniel. We hadn’t spoken in months.
My memory of that night must’ve shown on my face because Daniel wrapped his arms around me and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think of him.”
You didn’t; I was thinking of his brother. Then I instantly felt guilty, not for what I’d almost done that night with Jake, but for what I was currently doing to Daniel. He was right. I was keeping secrets from him. A lot of secrets. And I didn’t know why. If I trusted him enough to sleep with him, shouldn’t I trust him enough to confide in him?
Yes, you should. So why don’t you?
I sighed and sat down on the floor. Daniel sat down next to me and held my hand. Eventually, I worked up the nerve to tell him about my suicide attempt. After I answered all his questions, he led me back into the bedroom. This time it felt like more than just sex. Not love, but something more than just a physical release, which is what sex with Daniel had been for me. Afterwards, instead of retreating to separate sides of the bed, we fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
But when I woke up in the morning, we were on opposite sides of the bed again, and I was ravenous. I stretched my arms and legs and waited for Daniel to stir. Then I got tired of waiting and nudged him awake.
“Breakfast?” I asked when his eyes fluttered open.
“Sure.” He yawned. “The pancake place or the beach café?”
“Actually, I was thinking we could have breakfast at my house.” It wasn’t a conscious decision. But sometime during the night I’d decided I needed to give this fledgling relationship a chance. It had been almost two years since Jonah died. It was time.
Daniel’s eyes opened a little wider. “Your house?”
“Yes. I do know how to cook, even if it’s not something I make a habit of. Although I was thinking we could just pick up bagels on the way.”
A huge grin spread across his face. “Does this mean I finally get to see your bedroom?”
“Maybe. If you play your cards right.”
Daniel was the first to spot the broken glass.
Chapter 18
“What happened here?” Daniel asked as we strolled into my kitchen with his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist.
I placed the bag of bagels on the counter and followed Daniel’s gaze to the laundry room. One of the glass panels in the back door had been smashed and the shards were lying on the floor.
“What the hell?” I walked into the laundry room and bent down. Then Daniel yelled, “Don’t touch it,” and I jumped back.
I hadn’t been planning on touching the glass, but “Why not?”
“You need to call the police.”
We searched the entire house while we waited for the police to arrive. Nothing appeared to be missing, or even out of place. Even my jewelry box was in the exact same spot on my dresser it always sat, my diamond engagement ring and wedding band still tucked into their nook. When I closed the jewelry box and turned around, I found Daniel lying in the middle of my bed with his hands folded behind his head. He’d kicked off his sneakers and they were strewn across the floor.
“I don’t get it,” I said, reaching down for his shoes and placing them next to the bed. “Why would someone break into my house and then not steal anything?”
“Beats me,” Daniel replied.
I noticed he’d chosen the middle of the mattress rather than either side. Maybe he was afraid he’d accidentally choose Jonah’s side and I’d get upset. I knew Daniel wanted me to sleep with him in that bed. For him it would prove I’d moved on from Jonah and was now emotionally available. I wanted to sleep with him in my bed too but for different reasons. I needed to exorcise my demons from the almost-night with Jake and my suicide attempt. We both would’ve gotten what we’d wanted today but for the break-in. Daniel appeared to still be willing, but I was no longer in the mood.
When the police finally arrived and I informed them nothing was missing, they immediately lost interest. They told me it was just neighborhood kids pulling a prank.
“Wouldn’t neighborhood kids have messed up the house?” I asked. “Or at least turned on the TV and put their feet up on the furniture?” Other than the broken glass in the laundry room, there was no evidence anyone had been in my home.
“Best not to try to divine the motives of teenagers,” the male cop said. “Just be thankful they didn’t pee on your floor and kill your pets.”
My jaw dropped. When I was a kid, pulling a prank involved toilet paper or ordering a dozen pizzas to someone’s house. When did peeing on people’s floors and killing their pets become a thing? “Teenagers do that now?” If MJ ever did that, I’d ground him for life, even if I wasn’t his foster parent.
The female cop said, “The incident my partner was referring to wasn’t teenagers. It was a mentally unstable individual who we suspect was on drugs at the time.”
That didn’t make me feel any safer. “Please tell me you caught the guy and he’s in jail.”
The partners exchanged a look and the male cop said, “You should install a home security system. Maybe buy a dog.”
“Buy a dog?”
“They can be very effective deterrents,” the female cop said.
The male cop nodded. “Big dogs are best. Not those teacup breeds.”
