Daniel set the laptop on the coffee table and took a step closer. “Grace, listen to yourself. It was neighborhood kids pulling a prank. Or maybe it was a burglar, but something scared him off. What I’m confident it wasn’t was someone who broke into your house to steal a flash drive.”

I backed away from him and found myself in the corner of the living room. “You think I’m some crazy tinfoil hat person, don’t you?”

He paused then said, “You told me yourself you tried to commit suicide and you spent some time in an institution.”

“So?”

“Grace, I think you need help.”

He might as well have punched me in the stomach. The effect was the same. I grabbed my midsection and bent over. Then I looked up at his smug face. “It’s time for you to leave.”

Daniel took another step closer, boxing me in. “You don’t mean that.”

Intellectually, I knew I was free, but Daniel made me feel like I was back at the Wellstone Center being held against my will. Which turned out to be exactly the impetus I needed. I stood up straight, arms at my sides, fists clenched. “I think I know my own mind, Daniel. Now get the fuck out of my house before I call the police.”

Chapter 25

“Wow,” Dr. Rubenstein said.

I didn’t have an appointment for today, but after I kicked Daniel out of my house last night, I really did feel like I was losing my mind. I’d paced for hours and when I finally went to bed, I just tossed and turned until the sun rose. After I eventually slept for a whole thirty minutes, I called Dr. Rubenstein and begged her to squeeze me in today. She’d agreed to see me during her lunch hour. Her untouched salad was still sitting on the desk behind her.

“Wow good or wow bad?” I asked.

She shifted in her chair. “Well, first, I’m proud of you for taking a stand with Daniel. I saw some red flags there and I’m glad you not only saw them but acted upon them. So many women just ignore the warning signs.”

“It wasn’t that hard. All I really liked about him was the sex.”

“I am one hundred percent sure if all you want from a relationship is sex, you’ll be able to find it easily enough. I’m more interested in why you lashed out at him.”

I thought that part was obvious. “He basically called me crazy.”

“You’ve said that about yourself many times.”

“It’s like the N-word. If you’re crazy you can say it, but no one else can.”

Dr. Rubenstein frowned. “No, Grace, it’s not like the N-word.”

She was right, of course. “Sorry, bad analogy, but you know what I mean.” She wasn’t letting me off the hook that easily though. We sat together in silence until I finally admitted in that moment, I felt like I was trapped in the Wellstone Center with Dr. Stetler. “But I wasn’t going to give him that power over me. We were in my house and if I tell someone to leave, they have to go.”

She nodded. “I commend you for standing up for yourself. But have you given any thought to what Daniel actually said? Just because he reminded you of Dr. Stetler, doesn’t mean everything he told you was wrong.”

“Now you think I’m crazy too? You think I need to check myself back into the Wellstone Center?”

“No and no. But I do think it’s worth exploring what Daniel very unartfully tried to tell you.”

“Which is?”

She stared directly at me. “Maybe the spreadsheet really is just a spreadsheet and not the linchpin in a criminal conspiracy that resulted in the death of your family.”

It felt like my chest was being squeezed in a vise. It wasn’t a complete shock Daniel wouldn’t believe me. I’d withheld crucial information from him. Plus, he was a jerk. But Dr. Rubenstein knew everything, and up until now, I’d thought she was on my side. “You think I’m a whack job who just made this all up because I can’t handle the fact that my family’s dead?”

“Grace, I didn’t—”

“You think I’m lying? That I fabricated a five-million-dollar life insurance policy? That I just imagined Jake appearing in my house that day?”

“No.”

“I still don’t know why he was there. He refused to tell me, and we haven’t spoken since.”

“Couldn’t it be because he’s embarrassed? Don’t forget you rebuffed his advances and then tried to kill yourself. That’s not a boost to anyone’s ego. And didn’t you tell me Jonah bought the life insurance policy right after Amelia was born? A lot of men feel a huge weight of responsibility when their first child is born. Buying the policy may just have been his way of dealing with it.”

“What about the flash drive? Why password protect it and hide it somewhere no one would ever think to look if it’s meaningless?”

“I add passwords to all my drives and devices. It’s basic digital security.”

“Because you’re a doctor and your files contain confidential information.”

“You’re a lawyer. Don’t your files contain confidential information? Jonah was an accountant. Didn’t his files contain confidential information? To go from a file contains confidential information to someone is willing to kill for it is quite a leap.”

“Then what about the break-in? Is that a leap too?”

“From what you told me, you were carrying the flash drive in your purse for days. Wouldn’t the person who wanted to steal it know that?”

“No, why would they know that? I never said I thought someone was following me.”

“Well, isn’t it just as likely? If someone was following you, would you even know? And if someone really did break into your house to steal the flash drive and they didn’t find it, wouldn’t the next logical place to look for it be your office? Have you had a recent break-in at your office too?”

“No, but we have a lot of security at the office. My aunt made me set all that up before I rented the place.”

Dr. Rubenstein sighed. “Grace, all I’m saying is there’s no reason to think the file on that flash drive is somehow connected to Jonah and Amelia’s death.”

“Then why did Alex say all that stuff to me about the Russian mob and warn me I had to get the flash drive out of the house?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. But why do you suddenly trust Alex? You never used to. What’s changed, other than that he’s telling you what you want to hear?”

“You think I want to hear that my brother-in-law works for the Russian mob?”

“I think you want to hear that Jonah and Amelia died for a reason; that it wasn’t just bad luck. And that’s completely normal, Grace. Human beings like to feel like we have control over our lives. We hate uncertainty. Think of all the ball players who believe in lucky socks or shorts or jerseys. Do you really think it’s their clothes that make them win games?”

I could feel the tears prickling my eyes, but I kept them at bay. “No.”

“Neither do I, but those ball players do. People would rather embrace a lie than accept life’s uncertainty.”

“But this isn’t about lucky socks. It’s a spreadsheet filled with passwords. A hidden flash drive—”

“Hidden or lost? Isn’t it just as likely the flash drive fell out of Jonah’s pocket when he was refilling the diaper caddy than he purposely hid it there? Maybe even more likely?”

“It was taped to the bottom! You think it fell in there with the tape attached?”