He leaned forward, eager to explain. “After we started seeing each other, I did a little reading up on grieving.”
Reading up on grieving? “Excuse me?”
“I wanted to learn more about it. So I could help you.”
“Help me how?”
“Based on the data, people who lose a loved one suddenly, especially if it’s a violent death like it was for your family, grieve longer. The researchers concluded it’s because they have a harder time making sense of the loss. They’re constantly searching for meaning where none exists.”
Based on the data? I stared at him with my mouth ajar.
He stood up and walked toward me, but left some distance between us as if I was a wild animal he was trying to assist but didn’t trust not to attack. “I want you to know I get it. I understand why you’re doing this.”
“Really?” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Yes.” He grabbed the laptop off the coffee table and held it in the space between us. “Grace, this is just a spreadsheet, nothing more. But you’ve convinced yourself it’s the reason your family was killed. You’ve spun this elaborate tale that someone broke into your house to steal a flash drive.”
“Someone did break into my house! You saw it yourself. You helped me clean up the broken glass.”
Daniel set the laptop on the coffee table and took a step closer. “Grace, listen to yourself. It was neighborhood kids pulling a prank. Or maybe it was a burglar, but something scared him off. What I’m confident it wasn’t was someone who broke into your house to steal a flash drive.”
I backed away from him and found myself in the corner of the living room. “You think I’m some crazy tinfoil hat person, don’t you?”
He paused then said, “You told me yourself you tried to commit suicide and you spent some time in an institution.”
“So?”
“Grace, I think you need help.”
He might as well have punched me in the stomach. The effect was the same. I grabbed my midsection and bent over. Then I looked up at his smug face. “It’s time for you to leave.”
Daniel took another step closer, boxing me in. “You don’t mean that.”
Intellectually, I knew I was free, but Daniel made me feel like I was back at the Wellstone Center being held against my will. Which turned out to be exactly the impetus I needed. I stood up straight, arms at my sides, fists clenched. “I think I know my own mind, Daniel. Now get the fuck out of my house before I call the police.”
Chapter 25
“Wow,” Dr. Rubenstein said.
I didn’t have an appointment for today, but after I kicked Daniel out of my house last night, I really did feel like I was losing my mind. I’d paced for hours and when I finally went to bed, I just tossed and turned until the sun rose. After I eventually slept for a whole thirty minutes, I called Dr. Rubenstein and begged her to squeeze me in today. She’d agreed to see me during her lunch hour. Her untouched salad was still sitting on the desk behind her.
“Wow good or wow bad?” I asked.
She shifted in her chair. “Well, first, I’m proud of you for taking a stand with Daniel. I saw some red flags there and I’m glad you not only saw them but acted upon them. So many women just ignore the warning signs.”
“It wasn’t that hard. All I really liked about him was the sex.”
“I am one hundred percent sure if all you want from a relationship is sex, you’ll be able to find it easily enough. I’m more interested in why you lashed out at him.”
I thought that part was obvious. “He basically called me crazy.”
“You’ve said that about yourself many times.”
“It’s like the N-word. If you’re crazy you can say it, but no one else can.”
Dr. Rubenstein frowned. “No, Grace, it’s not like the N-word.”
She was right, of course. “Sorry, bad analogy, but you know what I mean.” She wasn’t letting me off the hook that easily though. We sat together in silence until I finally admitted in that moment, I felt like I was trapped in the Wellstone Center with Dr. Stetler. “But I wasn’t going to give him that power over me. We were in my house and if I tell someone to leave, they have to go.”
She nodded. “I commend you for standing up for yourself. But have you given any thought to what Daniel actually said? Just because he reminded you of Dr. Stetler, doesn’t mean everything he told you was wrong.”
“Now you think I’m crazy too? You think I need to check myself back into the Wellstone Center?”
“No and no. But I do think it’s worth exploring what Daniel very unartfully tried to tell you.”
“Which is?”
She stared directly at me. “Maybe the spreadsheet really is just a spreadsheet and not the linchpin in a criminal conspiracy that resulted in the death of your family.”
It felt like my chest was being squeezed in a vise. It wasn’t a complete shock Daniel wouldn’t believe me. I’d withheld crucial information from him. Plus, he was a jerk. But Dr. Rubenstein knew everything, and up until now, I’d thought she was on my side. “You think I’m a whack job who just made this all up because I can’t handle the fact that my family’s dead?”
“Grace, I didn’t—”
“You think I’m lying? That I fabricated a five-million-dollar life insurance policy? That I just imagined Jake appearing in my house that day?”
“No.”
“I still don’t know why he was there. He refused to tell me, and we haven’t spoken since.”
