Joseph’s eyes widened. Their mysterious sparkle was even more so today. “I like Ruth, Rebekah, Jesse, and Judith.” He offered another wink to his fraa. “But my absolute favorite name of all is Thomas.”
He smiled down at his little bruder-in-law. “How would you like it if the bopplin were named after his Oncle Thomas?”
“I like that,” Samuel offered from the doorway. He had taken over Joseph’s chair and offered a wan smile as he mopped at his forehead with a hanky. Elnora stood beside him, a worried look on her face that would have been imperceptible to anyone but Rebekah.
She narrowed her eyes at her father. He did appear to be breathing heavier, as Thomas said earlier, and his skin had taken on a haggard, gray appearance. He had leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
“Danki, Joseph.” Thomas shrugged. “But I like Lil’ Bit.”
Rebekah tore her gaze away from her father and met Joseph’s grin. She was powerless not to return his bright smile.
“Lil’ Bit,” Rebekah repeated.
Joseph mouthed the name. The pair of them shared a look.
“Lil’ Bit,” Rebekah said again. “I like that, wonderful gute.”
Joseph nodded. “So do I.”
Encouraged by their reactions, Thomas continued. “And it goes for a boy or a girl, too,” he said wisely. “So, we all win, whether I’m an aendi or an oncle.”
Rebekah cocked her head. “An aendi or an oncle?”
“Well, doesn’t that depend if you have a boy or a girl? If I’m an aendi or an oncle?”
“You’ll be a fine oncle, no matter what.” Joseph chuckled and stood. “You, Oncle Thomas, will have a niece or a nephew.” He held out his hand to the youngster.
“Oh, that makes sense.” Thomas jumped up and linked his hand into Joseph’s. “Where are we going?”
“We have work to do. Your mamm said that your schwestie has to rest. That leaves the chorin’ to us.”
All hurt feelings forgotten, Joseph and Thomas strode out the door, hand in hand. Elnora waited for the front door to close whispering something to Samuel before stepping ever-so-quietly from the hallway into Rebekah’s room.
“You are going to be a grossmammi,” Rebekah whispered. She stretched her hand toward her mamm, who took it but did not sit. Something in her hesitation melted the newfound grin from Rebekah’s lips. “Mater?”
Elnora drew in a deep breath. Long fingers of wrinkles crept from the corners of her eyes when she smiled, however, today, they were deeply present with her frown. No smile was in sight. “I have things to tell you, Dochder.” Her slightly gnarled fingers tightened around Rebekah’s. “This bleeding. I have seen it before.”
Rebekah tried to still her beating heart and ignore the icy chill within her veins at the same time. “You have?”
“Ja.”
She gulped and dared a peek at her mamm. “When?”
“With all of your bruders and schwesters who passed to heaven before you came to be my dochder.”
Rebekah’s throat tightened. “How many?”
Elnora closed her eyes. “I quit counting at one. Lieb isn’t something that you can number, sweet dochder. Each time my heart broke as though it was the first time, again and again.”
“What was the first time like, Mamm? When you lost your baby?”
Elnora shifted her weight. Rebekah could see that her question made her mater uncomfortable, but she really wanted to know. “Do you really want to know, Dochder?”
Rebekah was not quite sure that she did, but her curiosity won out. “Ja.”
Elnora looked as though she would rather be anywhere else, talking about anything else. “I had just begun to feel different. Sick at my stomach at odd times. Dizzy. Much like you felt in the barn today if what Thomas tells me is accurate.”
“Thomas.” Rebekah smiled. “My little angel bruder.”
“He thinks the same as you.” Elnora returned her smile. “As soon as I started feeling strange, I started bleeding. And bleeding. And bleeding.”
Rebekah’s heart went out to her mother. “Oh, Mater.”
“I thought it was my normal monthly, with cramping and pain in my stomach and back, but then I saw something else there.”
Rebekah leaned forward. “What?”
“A tiny baby. Perfectly formed. My first baby.” Elnora looked everywhere but at Rebekah. “And I could not keep her safe.”
Rebekah’s voice was a whisper. “She was a girl?”
Elnora shrugged and appeared to look off somewhere, maybe somewhere into the past. “I do not know for certain. But I like to think so.” She took a deep breath, then came back to the present. “Or maybe it was just Gotte’s voice, deep inside me, telling me my first child would be a girl.” She looked at her daughter and smiled her sweet, motherly smile. “You.”
Rebekah laid her hand atop her mother’s. Words could not express the sentiment of love and belonging that came from her mother’s words, so Rebekah opted for a comfortable, shared silence instead.
The twinkle of genuine happiness had gone from Elnora’s eyes, leaving a ghost of nostalgia in its wake.
Rebekah dared continue. “Were they all like that?” She swallowed hard. “All of the passing’s of my siblings?”
“Some were. Some were worse.”
“Worse?”
Elnora’s free hand went to her belly. “Ja. As in further along in my pregnancy. And a bigger bopplin.”
“You never told me…”
Elnora cut her off. “I never told anyone. Not even Heloise, my best friend apart from your fater.”
Rebekah thought to herself before she spoke. “Did you name them, Mamm?”
Elnora’s lower lip quivered. “The answer to that question, my darling dochder, is something I talk about only with Gotte. Not even with your fater.”
Finally, Elnora eased down onto the bed next to her. “So, you must do as I say. Rest as much as you can, even if it means staying in bed. Let your bopplin grow. Everything else in your life can wait. Remember, you are all that your bopplin has, and it is a hard burden to carry. One that you alone must carry. Believe me.”
Rebekah offered a pallid smile to her mamm. “I understand. Danki for talking to me about your secrets.”
“Gute.” Elnora rose. “I will bring you something to eat in a little while. And Rebekah?”
