“No. I miss who I was before him, though.” She pauses, but I get the feeling that she’s not done, so I stay quiet. June chews the side of her lip, wrestling with something. She looks torn between the urge to run or stay. She folds her arms up tightly in front of her, and her knuckles turn white as she grips her arms. Finally, she shifts on her feet, and her eyes shoot up to mine. They are giant green pools of tears. “Ryan…I…I called off the wedding because”—another agonizing pause—“he cheated on me.”
Those words act as a detonator in my mind. The name BEN flashes before my eyes, and suddenly, my target is set. I hate this guy.
And I hate him even more when June continues: “And do you know what happened after I called him out for it and broke off our engagement? He sighed with relief. He audibly sighed, and then he said it was probably for the best because…” She looks down at her folded arms, shame coloring her expression. “Because he wasn’t even attracted to me anymore. Said I’d gotten too comfortable around him.”
And there it is. The truth. It sets all the pieces into place, and suddenly, who June is now makes more sense to me. My heart splits for her.
I rub my hands up and down her arms to warm her. She looks at me with water clinging to her eyelashes and her cheeks rosy from the freezing water. And then she shakes her head. “No, don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Pity. I feel small enough for letting his comment affect me like this for so long, I don’t need a look of pity too. I mean, so what? He didn’t like my body anymore. I wasn’t pretty enough to attract him anymore. Who cares, right?” I can see that she’s trying to strap that armor of hers back on, but I won’t let her. Not yet.
I pull her tightly to my chest. “No. You didn’t deserve that from him. From anyone. And it’s okay to admit he hurt you, June.”
She surprises me by melting into me and resting her face on my chest, curling her hands up between us so that I’m fully holding her. I feel her shoulders shake with more tears. “The girl he’s marrying now is a blonde and, like, six feet tall.”
What June means is, she’s exactly the opposite of me. There’s so much insecurity in her voice, and I can hear the unspoken question of What does she have that I don’t?
I hold her a little tighter and kiss the top of her head as I try to find the right words. “I could bash on that woman with you right now if that’s what you want. I could also list a hundred different ways I think you and your body are perfect. I could tell you that I check you out from head to toe every time you walk away from me, and that, last night, I had a dream about you that would definitely make you blush.” She chuckles against me. “But I think what you need is to hear that your ex was a self-serving ass. You’re beautiful, June. His words had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his teeny-tiny—”
“Ryan!”
I laugh and squeeze her. “He was a jerk. End of story. It was wrong of him to cheat on you and even worse to make it seem like you were to blame for it. It’s not your fault he cheated. It’s his loss.” I look down and push some of the hair clinging to her face back behind her ear. “But I can’t say I’m not glad he’s out of the picture.”
Her emerald eyes look up at me from beneath her lashes, and for a split second, I think she’s going to give in to me. That her heart will melt right into my hands. I hold my breath and look down at her lips. Just as I do, I see her beautiful mouth frown. “I’m not ready yet, Ryan.”
“That’s okay,” I say gently.
She pulls out of my arms softly this time and walks out of the shower. She grabs a towel from the hook beside the shower and wraps herself in it before tossing another over to me. Telling me to hand my wet clothes to her after she leaves, June steps out of the bathroom and closes the door.
As I spend the next five minutes trying to wring the water out of my clothes, I can’t shake the feeling that we’re running out of time. She’s not ready yet, and I’ve got a life to get back to in Chicago soon. What if when she’s ready, it’s too late? I’m not asking for marriage or a pledge of her heart. I just want a chance. A chance to see if we are as good together as I think we’ll be.
A few minutes later, I emerge from the bathroom with my wet clothes in my hand and the towel wrapped around my waist. I open the bathroom door at the exact moment that she steps, fully dressed, out of her closet. Her eyes land on me, widen to the size of saucers, and her lips part.
She scans me up and down like she’s trying to memorize every bit because she plans to paint a portrait of my body later. I clear my throat, trying so hard to keep the cocky smile off my face, but it’s useless. She’s practically drooling, and I’ve never been happier.
“Hey, so…I’m sorry I pulled you into the shower. Probably wasn’t the best way to go about getting information from you.”
“Uh-huh.” She sounds a million miles away. She couldn’t care less about the shower fiasco right now.
I get a little closer and hold up my clothes. “You said for me to give you my wet clothes.”
I watch her swallow before her eyes finally make their way back up to mine. She gives me a tilted smile and shakes her head slowly with narrowed eyes. “You play dirty, Henderson.”
I can’t help but laugh at the look on her face. “What are you talking about?”
“I tell you I’m not ready for whatever it is you’re wanting yet, and then you parade your rock-hard body around my house in the buff? Just rude.”
“I’m not in the buff. I’m wearing a towel. And you’re not exactly turning away to give me privacy.”
Her eyes fall to my abdomen again, and then she emits a noise somewhere between a groan and growl and turns to flee the room faster than I’ve ever seen anyone move. She’s The Flash.
Once she’s out of sight, she yells, “The freaking dryer is down the hall on the right!”
I smile and make my way out of her room when my eyes catch on a tiny piece of yellow paper tucked into the corner of her vanity mirror. It’s half hidden behind a picture of her and Stacy, but I recognize it right away. I check the door to make sure June isn’t watching before I go pull the paper out of its hiding place.
My stomach clenches when I verify that it’s the note I think it is. Seeing it again immediately jolts me back to that day, our tenth-grade year, when I wrote it during homeroom. June had spilled a soda on her white sweater, and everyone teased her endlessly all day. There wasn’t any actual bullying, and the teasing was only coming from her friends and boyfriend, but I could still see the humiliation behind her I’m-being-a-good-sport-about-this laughter.
So I passed her this note: You look cute covered in soda.
It was the only outright compliment I ever gave her in high school. At the time, I didn’t think it meant anything to her. She read it, crumpled it up, and rolled her eyes like she thought I was still just messing with her.
But apparently, it meant more to her than I thought. Enough to smooth it back out and hold on to it all this time.
And now I’m thinking maybe we won’t run out of time…maybe we’ll get it right this time.
Chapter 14 June
Oh, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
He thinks he can just waltz around my house in a towel for half an hour—yes, it took a full freaking thirty minutes for his clothes to dry—and then I’ll be putty in his hands? Begging him for a date? For him to kiss me?
Ha!
He’s right.
I’m sitting on the counter after we return from the grocery store, watching Ryan move around my kitchen, trying so hard not to blurt out just kiss me already. He’s turned on the Black Keys and is humming while he puts produce in the fridge. I can’t handle it.
