Lucifer drove while Bianca called her coven to cast the amulet finding spell. He had bitched at her about not being able to fly because she was with him, but he kept two salient details out of his complaining. One, he couldn’t access his wings with his power bound, and two, Lucifer liked driving.
He’d designed his chariots around his love of speed. Driving her car, however, was less of a thrill. Normally, when he came to earth, he chose something sporty and wickedly fast.
She hung up on her last call. “They’re all coming to my house.”
“Yay.” He deadpanned. Haglette’s coven were his favorite humans. Not. Speaking of favorite humans. “Including Weaz-adj?”
“You’ve called him that before.” Bianca’s striking eyes gleamed with laughter. “What does it mean?”
It would be his pleasure to explain. “Weasel adjacent,” he said. “As in a being possessing all the poor qualities of a weasel and none of their redeeming characteristics.”
She laughed, a rich, throaty sound that came from her center and crinkled her eyes. “It’s almost like you know him.”
“I know him as much as I care to.” He added a theatrical shudder. “I have no idea why you allow your sister to consort with him.”
She wriggled in her seat. “Carmen is an adult now. I can’t tell her what to do.”
“Please.” That was a good one. “You have no trouble telling me what to do.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“You can stand up for yourself.”
True that. “And Carmen can’t?”
“She’s…impressionable.” She turned her head and stared out the window. “And there are other…factors involved in this.”
“You could advise her,” he said.
Bianca cleared her throat and fiddled with the radio. “She wouldn’t listen. Who does when they have a crush on someone?”
Lucifer smelled deception. “What other factors?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She blushed. “I don’t believe in judging other people’s choices.”
Now he knew she was yanking his chain. Other factors, hmm?
And then he reached an impossible, outlandish, barely worth considering conclusion. He snapped the radio off. “Tell me I have this wrong.”
“Hey!” Bianca scowled. “I like that song.”
He stopped her hand on the radio button. “Tell me it’s not true.”
“I don’t have to tell you anything.” Sniffing, she sat back and folded her arms.
He could warn her not to even try lying to the father of all lies, but where would be the fun in that? “Tell me you and he did not…” He could not even say the words.
Bright red, she snapped, “It was a long time ago.”
Dear angels above and princes below. This time his shudder was real. “How long ago?”
She muttered something.
Lucifer caught it anyway. “Six months!” This information was casting her in a whole new light. “Had you suffered a brain injury? A traumatic life event?”
“I was dickmatized,” she yelled.
“More like lobotomized.”
“Dickmatized,” she repeated. “Dazzled by his dick. Flattered by his attention.” She huffed. “Only the dickmatized part turned out to be not so much. He’s long on promises and short on delivery.”
This was too good to gloss over, and he enjoyed seeing her rattled. She’d certainly shaken him up in their short acquaintance. “You mean to tell me, that in addition to his personality, he has a small dick?” Oh, hells, he had to laugh. “What could he possibly offer a woman like you?”
She growled. “He’s handsome. I don’t get a lot of attention from men who look like Christen. And I was going through some stuff.”
“Life threatening, I hope.” That Bianca would even consider Weaz-adj as a partner blew his mind.
“Hey!” She scowled at him. “Stop being so fucking judgy. And it didn’t last long.”
He’d seen this play out in the earth realm before. Women like Bianca being dragged down by a man so far beneath them it was ludicrous. “He probably thought he’d won the lottery when he got you. He must have been devastated when you left him.”
More muttering from her and this time he didn’t catch it. “What was that?”
“He broke up with me,” she yelled.
And Lucifer’s amusement fled. He’d never had a high opinion of the intelligence of human males, but this was unfathomable. “That piece of shit broke up with you? Why?”
