“No.” She didn’t want to even think about it, or the insistent pulse between her thighs.
Shade chuckled. “Come on, Eddie, talk to me. Neither of us is getting any sleep with you tossing and turning.”
“It’s hot in here, and I’m not used to sharing my bed,” she said, and if her pants hadn’t already been on fire, they would be with that lie.
He hummed. “Want me to go?”
“No.” The denial shot from her mouth. There’d been no thinking in the generating of that response.
“Then why don’t I talk?” He turned to look at her.
Anything sounded better than confessing her weakness. “Sure.”
“Sexual tension,” he said. “It’s leaking out of you.”
“Oh.” So much for evasions. “You can feel that?” Then she wanted to slap herself. “Of course you can feel that.”
“Yup,” he rasped. “I could feel that even if I wasn’t lust, and it’s making me hard enough to punch holes in the wall.”
“Oh.” A surge of lust rippled through her.
“Fuck, Eddie.” He scrubbed his face with his palms. “That’s not making it any easier for me.”
“I can’t help it.” Wanting him had never been the problem.
“I know that.” He sighed. “But you’re still not sure about being with me.”
He was right. “I’m not even sure why.”
“Be clear, Eddie. If you were sure, I’d be buried balls deep in you right now.”
Moisture flooded between her thighs, and she craved that connection with him.
He groaned. “Hells! I can smell you. I want to taste you so badly.”
She pressed her thighs together to alleviate the pressure.
“It will never be just sex between us, Eddie,” he said.
She couldn’t speak. Desire was turning her feral.
“As much as I want you, when we give ourselves to each other, that’s forever.” He sat up and dropped his legs to the floor. The broad muscular expanse of his back was an invitation to touch. “It would change everything, and most of those changes would involve choices and sacrifices.” He went to the window and peered out. The track pants he wore fell softly around the taut, firm globes of his ass. “You couldn’t stay here. At least, not all the time. If you were mine, I’d want you with me, and I’m a possessive fucker. I could let you go for short periods, but the rest of the time, I’d need you there.” Raising one arm, he leaned on the window frame.
Amber streetlight highlighted the swells of muscle, while mysterious shadows pooled in the dips. He was like a still life study in muscle, bone, and sinew. She wanted to stamp the image on her brain.
Eddie should be listening to what he was saying, but need beat through her with every thump of her heart.
“With me,” he said. “There won’t be any divorce or changing our minds. I will never stop loving you and wanting you.”
And that was a bad thing, how?
“You’ve been raised human. You can’t have any concept of what forever means to a being like me.” His raised fist balled against the window frame. “When you’re with me, there’s no exit. And I will spend every moment of that forever making sure there is nowhere else you want to be.”
She had been raised human, but she wasn’t human. Any relationship she had with a human male would eventually end in heartbreak—hers. According to what she’d been told, as Nephilim, she would outlive any human partner, friend, or family member.
“And then there are children to consider.” He pressed his forehead to his raised arm. “I’m not sure we could ever reproduce. We know Nephilim are the product of a hell prince and a human, but as far as I know, there has never been a hell prince and Nephilim pairing.”
Eddie had never considered the possibility of them having children. Mainly because even as a youngster, she hadn’t seen herself having children. A partner for life, yes. Children, no. Not all women wanted to be mothers, and she’d never seen herself as one. “That’s not a problem for me.”
“Eddie.” He turned. His face was shadowed. “You’re too young to be making that decision.”
“By your standards, yes.” He wasn’t giving her any of the disbelieving condescension she’d always received from people when she told them she didn’t want children. “But in human terms, I’m old enough to know my own mind.” She sat up and indicated herself. “Raised human, remember. Human frame of reference.”
Shade stilled. “What if you change your mind?”
“What if I don’t?”
He growled. “I’m hanging on by a fucking thread here, Eddie. Be very sure of what you say next.”
“Everything you’ve said. All those impediments you’ve raised, those are good things.” Her hesitation dissipated like it had never existed. Her entire life she’d been cautious because life didn’t come with guarantees. She’d learned to always expect the worst. Then she’d discovered she was Nephilim, and that changed everything. And Shade changed everything. He loved her and was promising to do so for the rest of their immortal lives. Running away was Rosabella’s MO. “I need you.”
“Eddie.” He stared at her. “Be sure. Be very fucking sure.”
“I am.” A weight lifted off her chest, and she took what felt like the first decent breath she’d taken in months. Maybe even years. The only fear she’d harbored was fear itself. A lifetime of having what she wanted snatched away had taught her not to want. You couldn’t lose what you didn’t dare to reach for. “I know who and what you are. I am choosing this. Choosing you. Choosing us.”
Thud. The door rattled in its jam.
“Master.” Xerxes spoke in Shade and her mind. “Arm yourself.”
“What?” Shade went tense and alert.
“Demons,” Xerxes said. “Many of them.”
“Shade!” Sophia called. “Incoming! Get ready.”
Shade’s power washed through the room, and he was standing there in fighting leathers, swords in both hands, and wings out. “Get the children to the basement,” he said to her as he opened the door. “And summon Wrath.”
Hell princes weren’t the only ones with tricks, and Sophia had been teaching her. Eddie pulled her own fighting leathers and weapons from the ether. As she’d discovered, she had an affinity for knives and cross bows. She summoned Wrath down their bond and got an instant response. “He’s on his way.” She followed Shade into the hallway.
Whirling back to her, Shade snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. “Later. You, me, and that outfit.”
“Count on it.” She pressed a kiss to his beautiful mouth. “Stay safe.”
“You too.”
Dee and Daniel rushed into the hallway.
“I’ve called for backup,” Daniel said.
