Lucifer placed his knife and fork precisely side by side on his plate. “Raphael will take you back to earth as soon as you’ve finished breakfast.”
“Eh?” Her mouth dropped open, and she snapped it shut. Call her psychic, but was he kicking her out? “I thought we settled that last night.”
“We did.” He folded his napkin and smoothed the placket of his crisp white shirt. “Our temporary partnership is over. I will fulfill the terms of our blood oath alone.” Standing, he gave her a chilly smile. “That concludes our business together.”
Shock rendered her speechless. Even Christen had better after-sex chat than Lucifer. His dismissal landed like a kick in the teeth, and she struggled to keep the hurt off her face. “I…” His blank look dried the words before she uttered them. “Lucifer, I—”
He stalked out and shut the door behind him.
Raphael’s smile was tentative as he motioned her plate. “You really should try the eggs benedict.”
The benedict certainly looked delicious, but her appetite had deserted her. Like a wounded animal, she wanted to return to her safe place. “Could you take me back?”
She couldn’t look at Raphael and read the pity in his face. She wasn’t entitled to pity because she’d done this to herself—ignoring her instincts, blindly sailing past the red flags, developing feelings for Lucifer.
Raphael’s gentle tone threatened her composure. “Yes, of course.” He cleared his throat. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to eat—”
“No.” She’d be fucked if Lucifer or anyone connected with him would see her cry. She’d survived much, much worse. This was simply hurt pride. Besides, if life had taught her anything, it was to be careful about where and to who you showed your soft underbelly. “I’d like to go now.”
“Very well.” Raphael’s cutlery clanked against his plate. Maybe guessing that she didn’t want to ask Lucifer for anything, including that stupid chariot thing, he said, “We can fly.”
Bianca bundled up the hurt and stored it in the box with her mother’s rejection and emotional abandonment. In the place where her child’s heart still longed for a father. The inner sanctum that held all the emotions life had never provided a space safe enough for her to express. “That would be best.”
Lucifer forced himself to remain in place as Raphael bundled Bianca against his chest and took to the air. He refused to acknowledge the whispers inside him that insisted he should be the one holding her and flying with her.
He’d walked his palace through the endless dark hours. Time and time again his feet had carried him to her door as he paced. A few times, he’d even put his hand to the latch and been a breath away from opening her door. Then he’d turned away.
This thing, this connection between them, had been doomed before it even began. She was human, with a human lifespan. If the end of days didn’t strike first, she would inevitably be taken from him. Hell princes were forbidden and unable to interfere with the normal cycle of life and death, and there would be nothing he could do to keep her with him.
In his ages of existence, he’d walked alone. Not for him, the cradle of love and acceptance. His own brother had rejected him, for hell’s sake. His very nature precluded the ability to love and be loved. Pride was unable to release self for long enough to allow the vulnerability love required.
It was for the best that he ended their liaison now. He should have kept his distance and not allowed last night to happen. He’d been unable, however, to resist the lure of her in his home, to walk away from the part of him that craved things to be different, for him to be different.
He was who he was, just as she was, and their paths were not destined to run alongside each other.
Narcissa spoke from behind him. “She is gone?”
“Yes.” Ashe would have understood how he felt, would have sensed it before he needed to speak. But Ashe had chosen to leave, chosen to betray him rather than stand with him.
No, he’d made the right decision in letting Bianca go. His destiny had always been, and still was, to stand alone.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Raphael took her to earth but turned mulish about taking her to her cabin.
“For your own safety,” he said, looking at her with those melty gold eyes.
Bianca didn’t have the capacity to fight, so she nodded and trudged upstairs to the living level of the theatre.
Dee and Eddie looked up from where they were sitting at the kitchen table, mugs cradled in their hands.
“Hi.” Bianca didn’t feel like chatting but didn’t see how it could be avoided when she was going to crash with them.
Eddie and Dee studied her.
“You okay?” Dee asked after a pause.
“No.” She was so not okay. “But can we not talk about it?”
Not talk about how she’d fallen for another fuckwit who only thought about themselves. Not get into how she’d given herself to another shithead who only saw her as a means to an end.
Eddie nodded and stood. “Sure. We’ll get you some tea.”
“Thanks, but I don’t want any tea.” She wanted to go home, to her home, and crawl into her own bed and pull the covers over her head and stay there until she didn’t hurt so much.
“You’ll want this tea,” Dee said with a wink. “Did you find Lucifer?”
“Yup.” His name sent a pang through her. He who shall henceforth have no name but shithead. Or HWSHHNNBS—call her crazy but it didn’t have a ring to it. Shithead worked.
Eddie put a mug in front of her. “Is that something we’re not going to talk about?”
Bianca nodded, took a sip, and coughed as strong spirits seared her throat. “You’re drinking.” She checked the clock. “At eleven a.m.”
“I don’t get drunk anymore.” Eddie shrugged. “Nephilim thing.”
“And I’m keeping her company.” Dee clinked her mug against Bianca’s. “Nobody should day drink alone.”
“Why are we day drinking?” Assuming they didn’t have a shithead situation of their own, talking about someone else’s crappy morning was better than talking about hers.
Eddie shrugged. “Seemed like the thing to do. End of days and all that.”
Made sense to Bianca. She sipped. It was basically whisky with a smidge of tea, but it warmed her from throat to gullet, and if she drank enough, it might anesthetize her.
They drank in silence until Eddie said, “Can I ask what you’re going to do now?”
“Seems like you just did.” Bianca patted her backpack. “I’m going to do the tracking spell and find Leona.”
“Good.” Dee pushed her mug away. “What do you need?”
Feeling like she’d missed something vital, Bianca stared at her.
“Looks like Lucifer is a no show.” Dee got to her feet. “And we promised those children we’d get their mother back.”
“Just like that.” The instant support brought her perilously close to tears.
