“Nuts,” said Odelia, and was off with Harriet in her arms.

“I don’t want to go to the vet!” Harriet lamented.

“Too bad, ‘cause you’re gonna!” said Odelia.

And since we couldn’t possibly let Harriet go through this ordeal alone, the three of us followed after Odelia as she hurried out of the house.

CHAPTER 27

As we sat waiting in Vena’s waiting room, while Harriet was being given the once-over by the vet, our friend Norm came buzzing in. “Hey, you guys,” he said, looking a little downcast, I thought.

“Norm,” I said. “How are things in the world of superflies?”

My words had been chosen as an attempt to cheer him up, but they didn’t have that effect. On the contrary, his wings drooped as he selected a spot on a seat next to us. “It’s Norma,” he said. “She put her foot down this time. If I don’t provide her with offspring, she’ll go and find herself a different husband. One who will fulfill his marital duties with speed and effectiveness.”

“But I thought you said you were going to embrace the life of the paterfamilias?”

“I know, but I’m having second thoughts.”

Sounded to me as if he was having third thoughts, or maybe even fourth or fifth. Then again, becoming a father is a big deal, and a lot of men find it hard to take that step as it is bound to change their lives forever—and quite irrevocably, too.

“But your friend the cockroach—didn’t he tell you how wonderful it is to be a dad?”

“He didn’t. He told me how rotten it is.”

“Harriet is pregnant,” Dooley said.

“We don’t know that, Dooley,” Brutus hissed. Clearly, he wasn’t very keen on becoming a father either. When push came to shove, being a dad was a scary proposition.

“No, but she is,” said Dooley. “Gran says she’s pregnant, and Gran knows, since she’s been pregnant herself, so she knows the signs.”

“Gran zapped Harriet with that same bug spray that Tex used on the bugs in our backyard, the same used at the hotel,” I told Norm. “And since it seems to have led to a proliferation of those bugs, she’s hoping that it will do the same thing with Harriet and pretty soon the world will be full of little Harriets.”

Norm laughed. “Oh, Max. Do you really think you can create kittens by using bug spray on a cat? That’s very naive, even for you.”

“I never said I believed her,” I said. Though obviously my friends all did. Except for Norm, but then he was a wise old fly.

“Look, do you love Norma?” I asked.

“Of course I do. She’s the love of my life. The one fly for me, you know.”

“Then I think you should have a little faith and go for it, buddy.”

“But I have no idea how to be a dad,” he said. “I mean, not the first clue.”

“Just wing it,” was Brutus’s advice. “I don’t know the first thing about being a dad either, and I’m scared to death that Vena will come walking out of that examination room and tell us it’s a boy, but that doesn’t matter one bit. Just do what feels right in your heart. At the end of the day that’s all any of us can do. Give it our all.” He glanced nervously at the door to Vena’s inner realm, expecting the vet to come charging out and holding up a kitten, though I could have told him that it didn’t work like that.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Norm. He seemed to relax a little. “Say, I saw that the killers of the prince are locked up in jail? Good job, you guys. I told you they did it, didn’t I?”

“You certainly did, Norm,” I said. “You called it.”

“What can I say? I’m an ace detective.” And with these words, he was off again, possibly to give the good news to Norma that he had thought things through and he wanted to be her baby daddy after all.

“So romantic, isn’t it, Max?” said Dooley with a sigh. “Norm is going to be a daddy!”

“Absolutely,” I said. “And I’m sure he’ll be a great daddy, too.”

“Will I be a great daddy, Max?” asked Brutus nervously.

“Of course you will!” I said. “You’re a wonderful person, Brutus, and any kid would be lucky to have you as their daddy.”

“I would have you as my daddy, Brutus,” said Dooley.

Brutus gave him a strange look. “Okay. That’s good to know.”

Dooley patted him on the back. “Daddy Brutus.”

The big black cat winced. “It’ll take some getting used to.”

Just then, the doors to the examination room opened and Vena appeared, along with Odelia, who was carrying Harriet in her arms. Vena was saying something, and Odelia was listening intently. Harriet not so much. She looked as if she still wasn’t feeling well.

“How are you, sugar biscuit?” asked Brutus solicitously.

“Nauseous,” said Harriet.

“That’s to be expected,” said Dooley. “A lot of pregnant ladies feel nauseous in the first couple of weeks of their pregnancy.”

Harriet produced a tiny burp. “God, I feel awful.”

“What did Vena say?” asked Brutus.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” asked Dooley.

“Neither,” said Harriet. “It’s a bad case of poisoning, and I need to detox for a while. She’s given me some pills that should make me feel better real soon. Though they haven’t kicked in yet, so there’s always hoping they will soon.”

“Poisoning?” asked Brutus. “I don’t understand.”

“What did you expect would happen when I got zapped with bug spray, sparky star? That stuff can’t be good for you.”

“But… I thought Gran said⁠—”

“The lady is nuts, all right? She’s always been certifiable and the older she gets, the worse she seems to get. Vena even told Odelia that maybe she should have her checked out for signs of dementia. I mean, who zaps their cat with bug spray and expects her to become pregnant?”

“Yeah, I guess when you put it like that,” said Brutus doubtfully. He scratched his head. “So… I’m not going to be a daddy?”

“No, you’re not,” said Harriet. “And I just hope this whole bug spray incident hasn’t affected my voice. Cause if it has, there will be hell to pay, I can tell you that right now!” She turned to me. “Give me a song, Max. Quick. Do it now.”