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They went to one of Dublin’s main shopping streets, which also happened to be the location of the shop that Brida had once had to visualize as part of an exercise. Whenever the conversation turned to personal topics, Wicca would respond vaguely or evasively, but she spoke with great verve about trivial matters—
prices, clothes, rude shop assistants. Everything she bought that afternoon revealed sophistication and good taste.
Brida knew that it wasn’t the done thing to ask someone where she got her money, but so great was her curiosity that she came very close to violating that most elementary rule of politeness.
They ended up in a Japanese restaurant, with a dish of sashimi before them.
“May God bless our food,” said Wicca. “We are all sailors on an unknown sea; may He make us brave enough to accept this mystery.”
“But you’re a Teacher of the Tradition of the Moon,” said Brida. “You know the answers.”
Wicca sat for a moment, absorbed, looking at the food. Then she said:
“I know how to travel between the present and the past. I know the world of the spirits, and I’ve communed with forces so amaz-ing that no words in any language could describe them. I could perhaps say that I possess the silent knowledge of the journey that has brought the human race to where it is at this moment.
“But because I know all this, and because I am a Teacher, I
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also know that we will never ever know the ultimate reason for our existence. We might know the how, where, and when of being here, but the why will always be a question that remains unanswered. The main objective of the great Architect of the Universe is known to Him alone, and to no one else.”
A silence fell.
“Right now, while we’re here eating, ninety-nine percent of the people on this planet are, in their own way, struggling with that very question. Why are we here? Many think they’ve found the answer in religion or in materialism. Others despair and spend their lives and their money trying to grasp the meaning of it all. A few let the question go unanswered and live for the moment, regardless of the results or the consequences.
“Only the brave and those who understand the Traditions of the Sun and the Moon are aware that the only possible answer to the question is I DON’T KNOW.
“This might, at first, seem frightening, leaving us terribly vulnerable in our dealings with the world, with the things of the world, and with our own sense of our existence. Once we’ve got over that initial fear, however, we gradually become accustomed to the only possible solution: to follow our dreams. Having the courage to take the steps we always wanted to take is the only way of showing that we trust in God.
“As soon as we accept this, life takes on a sacred meaning, and we experience the same emotion the Virgin must have felt when, one afternoon in her otherwise very ordinary existence, a stranger appeared to her and made her an offer. ‘Be it unto me according
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to thy word,’ said the Virgin. Because she had understood that the greatest thing a human being can do is to accept the Mystery.”
After another long silence, Wicca again took up her knife and fork and resumed her meal. Brida looked at her, proud to be by her side. She wasn’t bothered now by the questions she would never ask, about how Wicca earned her money or if she was in love with someone or jealous of someone else. She thought about the greatness of soul of the true sages, sages who had spent their entire life searching for an answer that did not exist, but who were not tempted to invent an answer when they realized there was none. Instead, they carried on humbly inhabiting a Universe they would never understand. The only way they could truly partici-pate was by following their own desires, their own dreams, because that is how man becomes an instrument of God.
“So what’s the point of looking for an answer then?”
“We don’t look for an answer, we accept, and then life becomes much more intense, much more brilliant, because we understand that each minute, each step that we take, has a meaning that goes far beyond us as individuals. We realize that somewhere in time and space this question does have an answer. We realize that there is a reason for us being here, and for us, that is enough.
“We plunge into the Dark Night with faith, we fulfill what the ancient alchemists used to call our Personal Legend, and we surrender ourselves fully to each moment, knowing that there is always a hand to guide us, and whether we accept it or not is entirely up to us.”
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That night, Brida spent hours listening to music, entirely given over to the miracle of being alive. She thought about her favorite authors. One of them—the English poet William Blake—had, with just one simple phrase, given her enough faith to go in search of wisdom.
What is now proved was once only imagin’d.
It was time to perform one of her rituals. She would spend the next few minutes contemplating a candle flame, and to do so, she sat down before the little altar. The process of contemplation took her back to the afternoon when she and Lorens had made love among the rocks. There were seagulls flying as high as the clouds and as low as the waves.
The fish must have asked themselves how they managed to fly, these mysterious creatures who plunged into their world, then left as quickly as they entered.
The birds must have asked themselves how the creatures they fed on and that lived beneath the waves could possibly manage to breathe under water.
Birds existed and fish existed. Theirs were universes that occasionally collided, but they could not answer each other’s questions. And yet both had questions, and the questions had answers.
Brida looked at the flame before her, and a magical atmosphere
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began to grow around her. This was what normally happened, but that night, the feeling was more intense.
If she were capable of asking a question, it was because, in another Universe, there was an answer. Someone knew it, even if she didn’t. She didn’t need to understand the meaning of life; it was enough to find someone who did, and then fall asleep in his arms and sleep as a child sleeps, knowing that someone stronger than you is protecting you from all evil and all danger.
When the ritual was over, she said a little prayer in gratitude for the steps she had so far taken. She was grateful because the first person she had asked about magic hadn’t tried to explain the Universe to her; instead, he had made her spend the whole night in a dark forest.
