My sun wasn’t shining like it used to. My sky had turned gray without people to share smiles with, without Nash, who had shown me a whole different side of life.

“Stay strong, Mady,” he had whispered in my ear the first time I had cried beside him. He had allowed me to not shine for a moment and pulled me into his arms.

“Stay strong,” he had whispered. “Even the sun doesn’t shine every day.”

I would stay strong. I had promised him. Old Nash.

Now I was alone. It was raining. The water traced blurry trails across my windshield, as if seeking a way into my car, as if trying to become one with my tears.

I still loved him. Because how could you hate someone who had saved your life?

Chapter 34

Julian

I could find neither Bayla nor Emely, although one of the two should have the speed of a sloth and the other, which I had followed directly, smelled for miles like a wolf.

Two unpredictable girls who surprised me again and again, although I had known one of them for only two weeks and the other since I was a child.

And since I hadn’t found either of them, I had returned to campus.

A strange fear blazed within me, the source of which I could not pinpoint.

I stood before the door of the man most likely to help me, as much as my inner self tried to deny it. I was about to knock, but an exhausted, “Come in, Julian, and save the pleasantries” reminded me of the once good relationship between us and the fact that, even if nothing was the same, certain things would never change.

I opened the heavy, dark wooden door, decorated with ornaments and snakes, which led me into a spacious room with several full-sized windows and one huge one. The view of the campus was breathtaking, and I was not surprised that Alarik had chosen this very room as his office.

The university director, quite young for his age, sat at his desk cluttered with paperwork and didn’t even look up.

“Where’s Emely?”

“I couldn’t find her.”

Now, he did raise his head. “And the girl?”

“She’s gone. But don’t worry, their tracks got lost in different directions.”

He sighed. “At least it’s good news...”

Then he ran his hand through his messy hair and put down the feather pen.

To be honest, Alarik looked pretty exhausted. I wasn’t a bit envious of him, because being part of the pack and then also in his position as university director and professor, there were many responsibilities to carry. Another burden that probably pushed him to his limits on a daily basis.

After a while of silence and thinking, Alarik broke free from his stupor.

“You must find the girl. Because if you say you lost her trail, the Quatura won’t find her either.”

For whatever reason they wanted to find Bayla, it was too late. She had probably run home.

“She barely smells… if at all…”

“Don’t be silly, she’s human.”

“No, she’s not...”

Alarik stared at me intently.

“Are you telling me that this is how a Quatura reacts when she witnesses the transformation of a Senseque?”

He went to his desk to pour himself some coffee, but then set the mug aside again.

Alarik and stress had never been a good mix, even if he reacted surprisingly well in all kinds of stressful situations. It was about the reactions afterward, about the nights when he had always wandered restlessly in the woods back then, when I had still spent time with the Copelands on the pack’s estate.

I skillfully pushed the burgeoning memories aside.

Suddenly the feeling of confusion ran through me again, and instantly I had images in my mind. Images of Bayla in the woods, running and running, completely out of breath, looking around again and again. A road...

“Julian?” Alarik jerked me back into the present.

Out of breath, I propped myself up against the desk and threw my head back. The next thing I knew, Alarik was shaking me.

“Julian!” He pulled me in. “What’s wrong, boy?”

Confused, I blinked, but the sun suddenly seemed far too bright. Once again, I saw the road, and a feeling of fear flooded my entire body.

I groaned.

“When was the last time you turned?”

Even if I could have responded to his question, I didn’t want to because the answer was clear. They all knew the answer.

“Damn it, boy! Get a grip!”

I had snapped Alarik’s thread of patience because he grabbed me and shook me even harder until I opened my eyes and sank into the hard padding of the leather couch, overwhelmed.

Alarik let go of me, leaving me alone, but eventually came back, only to lift my head and dump a disgusting liquid that smelled like compost down my throat.

Goddammit!

I coughed violently, and the burning pain finally jerked me into the present, Alarik’s worried face in front of me. He had just given me liquid wolfsbane. Something he had shown me back then, shortly after the incident, and which I had been taking at least once a month ever since.

“Julian, we need to talk!” Alarik cursed.

But I shook my head. “What are the Quatura girls up to?”

I propped myself against the back of the chair to stand up again.

“They’re going to take away the girl’s memories.”