Why am I making such a mess of this? How hard was it? “Your cat’s lovely, ma’am.”
Idiot! She’d negotiated multimillion-dollar deals for Bartell Corp that didn’t feel this fraught. She leaned against the locked van, waiting for Cooper’s return.
Shortly afterwards, the van beeped, and Cooper opened the back to return supplies to it. She removed her disposable gloves with a snap and cleaned her hands with antibacterial gel.
Felicity climbed into the passenger seat. Moments later, the rear doors slammed closed hard enough for the whole van to reverberate slightly, then the driver’s door opened.
“Okay, what the hell was that?” Cooper asked as she climbed into the front seat and sat heavily.
“What was what?” Felicity asked, voice tight.
“Half the time all these people need is a bit of comfort. A kind word. I wasn’t asking you to marry the cat, just say it was nice so the client would feel good. And what did you do? ‘It’s just a cat,’” she mocked. “‘All cats are equally valid.’”
I know! Fuck, I know! Felicity inhaled. “I was caught off guard,” she said instead.
“Felicity,” Cooper said, sounding exasperated, “I wasn’t asking you to lie or fake anything. It was not a difficult task. The cat was obviously adorable, and all you had to do was agree and offer kindness to a woman who has next to nothing. That cat is her life, and you dismissed it like it was a…thing.”
“I didn’t mean to!” Felicity said, voice rising. “I wasn’t expecting the question! I thought we’d agreed I’d not say anything.”
“We agreed you wouldn’t judge clients, take offense if they were angry, or ask them intrusive questions. I had no idea you thought ignoring humans extended to their animals! Felicity, this is nonnegotiable: if you ride with me, I expect you to be kind about people’s pets, even if you can’t stand to look at them. Got it?”
Felicity gave a tight nod.
“Christ.” Cooper shook her head and started the van. “I just don’t get people who hate animals.”
“I don’t hate them,” Felicity whispered. A flash of a ginger cat bumping under her chin demanding cuddles flashed into mind. She pushed the memory away.
A moment later, as if sensing her misery, Brittany dropped her muzzle back onto Felicity’s shoulder and gave her a hopeful look. Felicity pushed her away, too.
“Could have fooled me.” Cooper stomped her foot on the pedal, and Felicity had another experience of a rocket liftoff.
She couldn’t be bothered arguing. She was too busy trying to keep her breakfast down.
* * *
Felicity was coping well, she thought, with the disease and decay she kept witnessing, courtesy of Sandy Cooper. They stopped for an early lunch with Cooper ordering a meat-filled hero while Felicity opted for a whole wheat, ham, and lettuce sandwich. They ate at a wooden outdoor table so small that they kept knocking knees. Cooper’s fault, of course—she had a lot of leg.
Felicity distracted herself from that thought by surreptitiously sneaking Brittany food every time Cooper looked the other way. She was helpless to refuse those huge sparkling brown eyes gazing up at her like she was the most wonderful creature in the universe. Dogs were so sneaky like that. Playing on your vanity.
Anyway, she was just getting rid of food she wouldn’t eat. That’s all it was. She’d never been a big eater, and the serving sizes on their sandwiches were enormous. It practically begged people to feed their hungry dogs under the table. Or other people’s. Whatever.
Cooper talked a lot about the work she did, and Felicity largely listened. Not to what she said—the topic of various animal ailments was presently ranging from dull to gross—but her voice. It was deep and delighted as she ran through her cases.
“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Cooper asked, scrunching up her paper napkin. “Am I so boring?”
“What? No,” Felicity said in surprise.
“What did I just say?”
Caught, Felicity offered a tight smile. “You’re pleased that the dog will make a full recovery.” It was a stab in the dark.
“Uh-huh. Just for that, I’m not giving you the head’s up about our next case.”
“Oh no,” Felicity said with faint sarcasm. “How will I cope?”
“You’ll really wish you had had advance warning on this one so you could stay in the van with Brittany. But no, I’ve decided you can just see for yourself.”
That did sound ominous. But how bad could it possibly be? “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Mm. Let’s see what the future brings.”
* * *
The future brought with it a rather wretched smell. Daisy the rottweiler had a…back-door issue. One so foul that Cooper was double gloving up and reaching into the dog’s…
Felicity’s eyes went wide. No, surely she wasn’t about to…
Cooper met her horrified gaze, grinned, and turned. “I suppose you’d like to know all about what I’m doing.” She directed the comment to the dog’s owner, a small man called Carl with worn sun-browned skin and dark eyes who looked older and more tired than any human being should. He reminded her of a sinewy old farmer broken from working too long in the fields.
“I’ve seen yer do it before,” the man said.
“Ah, but Ms. Simmons here is dying to learn all about my job.” Her fingers entered the danger zone.
Felicity and Carl both winced.
“Impacted anal glands are not generally life-threatening but can be very painful and difficult to treat if left too long,” Cooper said conversationally. “Anal glands are two little scent glands just inside the anus.”
Did she have to say anal quite so often? Devilment danced in Cooper’s expression. Felicity narrowed her eyes. Oh… She was doing that on purpose.
“The glands release a foul, smelly discharge when the animal defecates. However, sometimes this process doesn’t happen properly, and the discharge doesn’t release. If it is not treated and left to build up, the glands can swell, become painful, and even infected. So I’m here to determine whether they are full or not. Daisy here has had this problem in the past.”
The smell was grotesque. Felicity wished she was back in the van, but there was no way she was letting Cooper win this game.
“If full, you squeeze them. A foul content comes out, and the animal experiences immediate relief.” She looked down as the smell intensified…among other things. “Like that.”
Oh God. Felicity tried not to gag.
“If really full, I’ll often suggest the animal is looked at again in a month or so, and we repeat the process.” Cooper paused. “Are you okay, Ms. Simmons? You’re looking rather green.”
“She sure is,” Carl agreed. “Like she’s gonna puke.”
“I am not!” Felicity protested, but even so she backed away to get downwind of certain smells.
“It’s okay, love,” the man called out with a cackle. “I damn near puked up ma guts the first time Cooper did this to Daisy. It’s the smell, I reckon. Like rotten eggs, dontcha think?”
“Oh, for sure,” Cooper said, finishing up. She snapped off her gloves and put them in the waste bag she kept with her, then put on a new set. “Takes a strong stomach for newbies.” She glanced at Felicity and grinned. “How’s your stomach going?”
“You’re loving this way too much,” Felicity grumbled. “And for the record, that was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m going to leave you to it.” She glanced at the owner and tried to think of something positive to say. “You have a…fine animal,” she announced suddenly.
