“Honestly, yes. I wish I could say I figured it out on my own, but I didn’t. There’s nothing wrong with her, she just doesn’t fit into the world we want her to. I thrive in the world that people say is wrong, but I didn’t see how true that is until now. She’s smart, and strong, and if the world doesn’t try to take that away, she will probably grow up to have an amazing life.”
Everything he was saying was coming together and I was nearly speechless. “But the world tried to take it from you. You were never told you were smart, or strong, or full of amazing things.”
“No. I was told I was a problem, too much to handle, that there was something wrong with me that couldn’t be fixed. That more people would be happy to see me dead than alive if it meant they didn’t have to deal with me. Every problem in my house was my fault, and they didn’t let me forget that. I didn’t realize how goddamn unfair that was until I saw her. How the fuck could you tell a kid like that, that they are the problem? That they are so different from other people that it’s terrifying. That because she isn’t scared of the world at four years old means we should be scared of her. Maybe there was a time I was like that, but I never had a chance to know.”
“Which is why you scolded me when I said she was a lot.”
“I wasn’t trying to scold you, Daze. I just realized when I heard it that she wasn’t going to hear it the same way as you were. She was going to start telling it to herself until she believed it. It’s not like you were doing anything bad, and maybe Bailey would never think that, but why risk it?”
“No, I was wrong. I was doing something bad, and I actually appreciate it. It’s hard doing this whole thing alone, and it’s nice to have someone there who might tell me if I’m messing something up. I don’t want to ruin her life.”
He smiled and moved the smallest amount closer. “You’re not. I promise she will turn out ten times better than I did.”
“There’s nothing wrong with how you turned out. Back then or now. Why does it seem like we can never have things on track with us for more than a week or two? Maybe you’re not the one messing this up all the time. Maybe it’s me,” I said, trying to force a smile. I wanted to lighten the mood, but everything felt so heavy that it didn’t come out the way I hoped.
“It’s not your fault, Daze. Maybe it’s not either of our faults, exactly. We can blame fate. It was reckless giving me you.”
“Why?” I asked, my words breathless as he stepped closer. Just the nearness of him was going to my head, making me want to fall forward into his arms.
“Because why would the world give me something so perfect and delicate to love? I would have ruined your life. That’s why I stayed away.”
“You shouldn’t have.”
“Maybe. And I am sorry, but I was trying to do what I could to not ruin your life because I do love you. I didn’t leave because I didn’t.”
My entire body screamed as I heard the words. Love. Not loved. Love.
“Come on. I’m sure Bailey is looking for you.”
I rolled my eyes, but pushed off the car to follow him. “Yeah, right. I’m old news. She’s probably looking for you. I really need to get my other shoes out of the car because it’s officially reception time and I’m done with heels.”
He laughed but changed direction, heading to my car that, of course, had to be on the other side of the parking lot.
I groaned as my feet screamed in pain from the heels while we walked across the parking lot. Being on my feet all day at work was somehow making heels ten times worse, and I’d been in them for nearly six hours.
“Alright, I’m not listening to that the entire way to your car,” he said, leaning down and pulling my legs out from under me. I yelped as he lifted me up, carrying me bridal style towards my car.
My body jumped, immediately taking note of everywhere our bodies were touching. His arm under my legs and back, his chest against my arm.
“You’re…touching a lot of me.”
“Yeah.”
“I never understood why you were fine with me.”
“I guess we all get a soulmate, right?”
My heart flipped, trying to take in the words, but when I looked over at my car, I was already scrambling out of his arms.
“What the hell?” he asked, first at me and then at my car. The two tires we could see were flat, and we walked around the other side to see the other two flat as well.
“That can’t be a coincidence, right?” I asked.
He was already shaking his head, pulling open my door to inspect inside. “No. I highly doubt that’s a coincidence.”
“Someone slashed my tires?” It was the obvious answer, but it felt surreal. “Who would slash all of my tires? And why?”
“Piss anyone off lately?” he asked, popping the hood open and inspecting that next.
“Not that I know of. And who would be so mad to come find me at the wedding just to slash my tires?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not having you out here to see if we can find out.” He grabbed my shoes and the car seat for Bailey out of the back.
“What are you doing?”
His eyebrows furrowed as he waited for me to change shoes. “I assumed you weren’t driving this so I will be taking you two home.”
My breath hitched, but I stood back up to face him. “With you?”
The grin on his face when I met his eye made my chest tighten. For one beat of my heart, I really thought I was going to get to go home with him, but then he shook his head.
“I was meaning I would take you to your home. And as much as I would love for you to come to mine, that’s still off-limits. Come on. We need to find Bailey and unfortunately, I think you need to call Mark or your dad about this.”
“Maybe it was an accident.”
“It wasn’t.”
“I really don’t want to call him.”
