“What about Sher-sah?”
“Your lion is fine, other than a few dents, dings, and one bullet hole that probably came from the Kerch’s gun. He’ll be very glad to see you again. We almost had to make room for him in here. He didn’t want to leave your side.”
I chuckled, imagining the huge mechanical cat trying to squeeze into Falak’s close quarters. Sometime in the past few days, Sher-sah had become something more than a charming mechanical oddity. When it came time to separate from the circus, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about leaving him.
“Where are we now?” Falak’s wagon had survived the Brigands’ attack without sustaining serious damage to the interior. The small window over the bed revealed a clear, starry night.
“Camped in a meadow in the foothills of the Thaulgants.” Falak rose. His joints popped as he stretched his arms, fingertips brushing the arching ceiling overhead. “As soon as the last bandit rode away, we patched ourselves up and limped through the pass. We’ll reach the outskirts of Barsava tomorrow afternoon, most likely.”
“I don’t think I’ll be ready to ride Sher-sah in the show by then.”
The ringmaster sighed. “I don’t suspect you will.” He patted Genevieve’s shoulder. “That means the princess must make sure her performance is exceptionally amazing.”
I glanced at the worn and weary-looking princess standing at the foot of the bed. Her dark hair hung in a straggling braid down her back, and she wore wrinkled trousers and an even more wrinkled shirt beneath my Thunder Cloak. The spirit inside me stirred as if he too recognized the cloak and wanted it in his possession as much as I did.
“Thank you for everything.” I stared at my lap and struggled, yet again, to keep my tears from falling. “For saving my life, for watching over me, for taking me in and giving me a home, even if it was just for a little while.” I glanced up and met Svieta’s dark eyes. Perhaps she couldn’t understand my words, but I hoped she could read the gratitude on my face. “Thank you for giving me a second chance. If there’s ever a way I can repay you”—I turned my attention to Falak—“and if I’m ever in a position to grant you a favor, you’ll only have to ask. Anything that is within my power to give, it will be yours.”
The ringmaster lowered his chin and shifted into casual bow. “Coming from the Queen of Inselgrau, a favor is a mighty reward.”
“I’m no queen. Not yet.”
He waved a hand overhead. “You have command of the skies again, my lady. It seems as though anything is possible, now.”
With that he turned and walked out the door, taking Svieta and Genevieve with him. I snatched Gideon’s wrist before he could follow them out. “Stay.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”
Carefully, I scooted closer to the wall, making room beside me. I patted the mattress. “Sit.”
Gideon complied with my request and sat beside me on Falak’s bed. The princess, the ringmaster, and the tinkerer had looked exhausted, but my guardian looked devastated. As though he’d broken into pieces and had been hastily patched together. His short hair was ruffled. His burn marks seemed redder than usual. His beard had grown from a shadow to thick scruff. I wanted to touch him, rub my fingers across the beard and the scars and smooth his hair.
Instead, I fisted my hands in my lap. “I don’t know where to start. I would apologize, but it only would be partially genuine.”
His gray eyes flashed as his head jerked up. The muscles around his mouth tightened, but he said nothing.
“I am sorry, Gideon. Sorry for acting so rashly, for not putting myself in your place for a moment and considering things from your point of view before I jumped into action. When we left Inselgrau, that was my first taste of independence. It was the first time I was truly able to make choices for myself, and that is a heady and intoxicating thing. It also means I’m responsible for the consequences of my decisions.”
He shifted and opened his mouth to say something, but I waved, cutting him off. “Let me finish.”
He leaned back and pressed his lips together in a haughty way.
“This time the consequence was nearly losing my own life. Next time it might be someone else’s—maybe yours. The choices I make, they affect people. They especially affect you, and you deserve more consideration from me. I’ve said that before, I know. I’m afraid this is an apology I’ll be making to you a lot.”
He harrumphed but remained silent.
I took his hand, brought it to my chest, and carefully laid his palm over my heart. His brow furrowed, and he stared at his hand as if he didn’t know what to make of it. I gave him a weak smile. “But you must also understand I’ll never be someone who can sit aside while others fight on my behalf. I can’t apologize for going after those children. Even knowing what I know now, I would do it again. That part, I can’t be sorry for.”
Gideon twisted his wrist and grasped my fingers. He tugged my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. My new heart skipped a beat. “I’ve told you before that I know who you are, Evie. Fierce and brave, and yes, impetuous. I admire that about you, but it also frightens me.”
He squeezed my hand and leaned closer, staring earnestly into my eyes. “When the Kerch’s gun took you down, I thought she’d shot me, too. I thought my heart had exploded, that someone had shoved a knife through my back. But it wasn’t a weapon. It was my fear, tearing me apart. I thought....” His throat worked several times as he closed his eyes, obviously searching for composure. “I thought you were dead. I told you before not to change yourself, not for anyone, not even me. I said I would keep up with you, and I didn’t. I was supposed to protect you, and I failed.”
I did touch him then, cupping his stubbled jaw as I traced my thumb over his cheekbone and the burn scars lingering there. Leaning in, I inhaled, savoring his scent of horses, leather, and something distinctly him. “I know that feeling, Gideon. When Vanessa’s fire took you at the castle, I blamed myself. She was there because of me, and you were the one who paid for it.”
He buried his free hand in my hair, which hung in tangles down my back, loose from its braid for the first time in ages. He chuckled, but it sounded more like the rumble of a hungry bear. “We’ll be the death of each other, I guess.”
Grandfather, I thought, if you’re paying attention, now might be a good time to go take a nap. I leaned closer, my mouth inches from Gideon’s. “But what a lovely way to go.”
I pressed my lips against his, and a warm ache crept up from my toes, flooding me with heat. My new heart worked overtime, keeping up with the thrill of Gideon’s kiss when he leaned into me and groaned. For a moment that ended far too soon, the world was nothing more than him and me and the feel of his lips against mine.
He pulled away first, and I nearly grabbed his ears and tugged him closer. He read the disappointment on my face and chuckled, breaking the mood. “You’ve been mostly dead for two days, Evie. You and I have time. Right now, what you need most is rest.”
I scowled, but refused to resort to begging. “Stay with me until I fall asleep?”
He brushed his knuckles over my cheeks. “Only if you promise to close your eyes and be quiet.”
“If you’re going to be bossy, you can leave.”
He chuckled again and shifted, stretching his legs out beside me. He leaned his shoulders against the wall behind us. “Go to sleep, your highness.”
I snorted and rolled over, giving him my back, and I feel asleep to the rhythm of his breathing and my steady new heartbeat.
***
I woke with thunder reverberating in my ears, but when I peered through the window, stars sparkled in a clear night sky, showing no signs of storms. Sweat covered me, drenching my hairline. My nightgown clung to me. A dark thought, cold and dreadful, skittered in my mind, retreating like a spider withdrawing from a sudden light. Was it a nightmare or a memory, a distant recollection of my brief death, rising to the surface like bubbles in a fetid swamp?
I stared at the wagon’s ceiling and listened to my heart thumping, my pulse beating in my ears, reassuring myself that I had, in fact, survived.
Can it really be true? I wondered. Had Svieta saved me with a miraculous contraption inhabited by my grandfather’s spirit?
