It seemed beyond reckoning, beyond anything any one person could accomplish, and yet I’d ridden on the back of the proof of Svieta’s incredible capabilities. If I could accept Sher-sah’s existence, I should be able to accept a similar miracle had saved me. Laying a hand over my bandages, I felt the palpitations of Svieta’s amazing machine thrum beneath my fingers.
I’d touched death, and it gave me a nasty wound in return—not only the flayed flesh on my chest, but also in my mind. A bit of my essence had turned dark and cold. Nothing like that had troubled me before—this was utterly new and terrifying.
When I’d first learned the secret of Falak’s mechanical arm, he’d asked if I considered him to be just a machine. I told him a few mechanical parts hadn’t annulled his humanity. Now that he and I shared a similar condition, did I still believe that was true?
When it came to Sher-sah, Ynnua, and Ajej, we had all accepted they were not merely spirits stuffed into machines but that they were something more than. If that was true, why was I having such a hard time believing my new heart hadn’t somehow made me into something that was less than?
Gideon slept beside me, curled at the edge of the bed. He didn’t snore, but his deep breaths implied he was utterly comatose and unaware. Carefully, I disentangled myself from my warm cocoon of blankets and tiptoed outside. Each step sent shivers of pain through my chest, but I gritted my teeth and ignored my body’s protests. Going out on my own was selfish, perhaps, and dangerous—not that those concerns stopped me. I could think of only one thing that might relieve the dread, the one thing that always made me feel alive.
Reaching deep into my mind, I found the old connection that had been absent for the last few months. When I tugged on it, something inside me stirred. Maybe it was the spirit of my grandfather, lending his assistance. I tugged again, and the sky vibrated as clouds rolled toward me, answering my call.
Perhaps this power wasn’t really mine, but an extension of my grandfather’s. If so, I didn’t care because the thunder’s response felt the same. It felt like hugging my father and sitting with him before the fire on a cold night while he read aloud from his books of myths and legends. Exercising my powers again felt like scratching an itch I hadn’t been able to reach for ages. It felt like a hot meal, an even hotter bath, and a soft warm bed after days of weary travelling.
It felt like going home after being away for far, far too long.
Lightning filled my veins in a way I hadn’t managed in months, and when a pale-blue streak crackled across the sky and the thunder answered with a quiet purr, my heart leapt. Tears burned in my throat. The performance wasn’t much, though. Certainly nothing like the powerful displays my father had showed me, and nothing like my attack on Lord Daeg’s estate.
You need more believers, more faith to bolster your powers.
Something brushed against my side, and I turned to find Sher-sah had relinquished his patrol and joined me. He sat and turned his gaze to the sky, studying the clouds. Instead of frightening him, the storm seemed to intrigue him. His lack of fear emboldened my own courage. I leaned against him, letting him support my weight.
Taking care not to irritate my wound, I raised one hand, fingers splayed, and beckoned. A gentle breeze blew in, tossing my hair, tugging at my long night shirt, knotting it around my ankles. Throwing back my head, I laughed, and the thunder grumbled. Another streak of lightning sketched a pale line across the sky.
“Evie?” Gideon had appeared beside me, but he stood several feet away as if wary of getting too close—both to me and to the lion. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like?”
“You’ll wake the entire camp. Everyone will know who you are—what you are.”
“Good. Let them know. Let them see me. I need their strength.”
“Why, Evie?” He stepped closer. His hands curled around my shoulders. His gaze pierced me deeply, as though he wanted me to look inside his head, read his thoughts, see his fear. “You can’t possibly think you’re in any shape to fight.”
“No, I’m not ready to fight, but we know Jackie’s already on our heels. What am I supposed to do—ask him to go away and give me a few more weeks to recover?”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ve sent Faerecourt a giant flaming beacon telling him exactly where to find you?”
I shook my head. “Jackie doesn’t need my thunder to find me. I think he’s been scrying me the same way Otokar found the Fantazikes.”
“Then why hasn’t he come for us already?”
“He’s probably biding his time and setting more traps. The Kerch was his first one, do you honestly believe it was his last?” I fisted my hands in Gideon’s shirt, imploring. “He’s coming for me whether I’m strong enough to fight him or not. I can stick my head in the sand, or I can make the best of what I have, and what I have is a circus full of potential believers, and you know what they say....”
He scowled. “What do they say?”
“Seeing is believing. If we’re going to stand a chance against Le Poing Fermé, I need these people to see me. I need them to believe.”
As if I’d uttered a Magical spell, the circus came awake. Lanterns were lit. Wagon doors and windows opened. People poked their heads out to stare at the sky and at me, some with dumfounded awe, others with confusion. Camilla Bianchi stood in her doorway, staring at me as though she could see inside me. I raised a hand like an orchestra conductor urging the percussionists to play, and the thunder crashed, echoing off the mountains. Somewhere a horse whinnied. Sher-sah growled.
“Did you hear what the Kerch said before everything fell apart?” I asked Gideon.
“Which part? She said a lot of things.”
“The part about why she’d taken the children in the first place.”
“She was going to trade you.” He paused, and a muscle bulged in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. His hands fisted at his side. “She was going to give you to Le Poing Fermé.”
I nodded. “She might have succeeded if not for you and the others. Le Poing Fermé isn’t finished with me. In fact, I’ll be surprised if they’re not already waiting for me when we reach Barsava. I may not be strong enough to stand against them yet, but I’ll be damned if I lie down and let them take me.”
A pained look crossed his face. “Please tell me you have a plan.”
I glanced at Svieta’s wagon. “Possibly. Defeating Le Poing Fermé will require a group effort. We’ll need help. Lots of help.”
Falak, appeared from the shadows, holding a lantern. He approached at a slow, tentative pace. A bleary-eyed Genevieve followed close behind him, her hair a snarl of tangles. The ringmaster wore a rumpled night shirt similar to my own, and I figured he’d lent me one from his personal supply. I wondered where he’d been sleeping since giving up his bed and wagon to me, but then I noticed Melisandre at his side.
“My lady.” Falak ducked into a bow, and his light bobbed over me. “Might I ask about the cause for this excitement?”
“I wanted to stretch my muscles, so to speak.” I rolled my head, popping my neck. A pang of discomfort flashed through my chest—my body’s way of reminding me of its current limitations. “It’s been a while. I was afraid I might have forgotten how.”
Falak chuckled. “It appears you remember quite well.”
“This is nothing.” I gritted my teeth, gesturing to the sky. Tears of frustration burned in my eyes. “A pitiful bit of lame theatrics—pretty, but mostly harmless. You saw what I could do at Lord Daeg’s estate, Gideon. This is nothing compared to what I should be able to do. If I were home in Inselgrau, with the faith of my people to bolster me, I could do more.”
“Like what?” Falak asked.
The brief exercise with the storms had wrung me out. I sagged against Gideon and released my grip on the meager storm, now drifting overhead like watery fog. The stars flickered as though they were laughing at my skimpy cloud cover. Let them laugh—that storm was more than I’d managed in weeks, and I relished it. “Like get my throne back.”
Gideon pressed his lips into a thin line, and his nostrils flared. “So, do we return to Inselgrau right away, or are you still determined to find the Fantazikes?”
