“Yes, in the main, although you have omitted several significant flourishes.”
“My memory is not the best,” said Bazzard. He crumpled the paper and threw it into the fire.
Vasker spoke. “Friend Cugel, perhaps you would enjoy a sip of dyssac, or might you prefer wine?”
“I will be happy with either,” said Cugel.
“In that case, I will suggest the dyssac. We distill it ourselves from local herbs. Bazzard, if you will.”
While Bazzard served the liquor, Cugel glanced as if casually around the chamber. High in the shadows he noticed a wisp of smoke from which peered a pair of small red eyes.
In a droning voice Vasker spoke of the Llaio fowl-run and the high price of feed. The spy at last became bored; the smoke slipped down the wall, into the chimney and was gone.
Pelasias looked through the eye to Bazzard. “The alarm again is set?”
“Quite so.”
“Then once again we can speak freely. Cugel, I will be explicit. At one time we were wizards of reputation, but Iucounu played us a joke which still rankles. Our magic for the most part is forgotten; nothing remains but a few tendrils of hope and, of course, our abiding detestation of Iucounu.”
“Clarity itself! What do you propose to do?”
“More to the point: what are your plans? Iucounu will take your scale without remorse, laughing and joking all the while. How will you prevent him?”
Cugel pulled uneasily at his chin. “I have given some attention to the matter.”
“To what effect?”
“I had thought perhaps to hide the scale, and confuse Iucounu with hints and lures. Already I am troubled by doubts. Iucounu might simply ignore my conundrums in favor of Panguire’s Triumphant Displasms. No doubt I would be quick to say: ‘Iucounu, your jokes are superb and you shall have your scale.’ My best hope may be to present the scale to Iucounu face to face, as a purported act of generosity.”
“In this case, how are your goals advanced?” asked Pelasias.
Cugel looked around the room. “We are secure?”
“Definitely so.”
“Then I will reveal an important fact. The scale consumes whomever it touches, save in the presence of water, which dulls its voracity.”
Pelasias regarded Cugel with new respect. “I must say that you wear this lethal trinket with aplomb.”
“I am always aware of its presence. It has already absorbed a pelgrane and a female hybrid of bazil and grue.”
“Aha!” said Pelasias. “Let us put this scale to the test. At the fowl run we trapped a weasel who now awaits execution: why not by the power of your ornament?”
Cugel assented. “As you like.”
Bazzard fetched the captive predator, which snarled and hissed in defiance. Wetting his hands, Cugel tied the scale to a stick and thrust it down upon the weasel, which was instantly absorbed. The node showed new coruscations of red, vibrating to such vivid fervor that Cugel was reluctant to pin it again to his cap. He wrapped it in several layers of heavy cloth and tucked it into his pouch.
Disserl now wore eye and ear. “Your scale has shown its power. Nonetheless, it lacks projective scope. You need our help, sickly though it may be. Then, if you are successful, perhaps you will restore our orphan members.”
“They may no longer be in useful condition,” said Cugel dubiously.
“We need not worry on this score,” replied Disserl. “The organs, fully sound and competent, reside in Iucounu’s vault.”
“That is good news,” said Cugel. “I agree to your terms, and I am anxious to hear how you can help me.”
“First and most urgently, we must ensure that Iucounu cannot take the scale either through force or intimidation, or by means of Arnhoult’s Sequestrous Digitalia, or by a time stoppage, such as the Interminable Interim. If he is so thwarted, then he must play the game by your rules, and victory is at your command.”
Vasker took the organs. “Already I am cheered! In Cugel we have a man who can confront Iucounu nose to nose and never flinch!”
Cugel jumped to his feet and paced nervously back and forth. “A truculent posture may not be the best approach. Iucounu, after all, knows a thousand tricks. How will we prevent him from using his magic? Here is the nub of the matter.”
“I will take counsel with my brothers,” said Vasker. “Bazzard, you and Cugel may dine in the Hall of Trophies. Be mindful of spies.”
After a dinner of fair quality, Bazzard and Cugel returned to the parlour, where the four wizards sipped in turn from a great mug of tea. Pelasias, now wearing eye, arm and ear, spoke: “We have consulted Boberg’s Pandaemonium and also the Vapurial Index. We now are convinced that you carry something more than just a handsome scale. Rather, it is Sadlark’s cerebral nexus itself. It has ingested several creatures of strong personality, including our own good weasel, and now displays signs of vitality, as if recovering from an estivation. No more strength may be allowed Sadlark at this time.”
Archimbaust took the organs. “We think in terms of pure logic. Proposition One: in order to achieve our goals, Cugel must confront Iucounu. Proposition Two: Iucounu must be deterred from seizing the scale out of hand.”
Cugel frowned. “Your propositions are orderly, but I envision a program somewhat more subtle. The scale will bait a trap; Iucounu will run eagerly forward and be rendered helpless.”
“Inept, on three counts! First: you will be watched by spies, or by Iucounu himself. Second: Iucounu recognizes bait from afar and will send either a casual passer-by or you yourself into the trap. Third: in preference to negotiation, Iucounu uses Tinkler’s Old-fashioned Froust, and you would find yourself running from Pergolo on thirty-foot strides to retrieve the scale for Iucounu.”
Cugel held up his hand. “Let us return to the propositions of pure logic. As I recall, Iucounu must not be allowed to seize the scale out of hand. What follows?”
“We have several dependent corollaries. To slow the quick grasp of his avarice, you must feign the submission of a cowed dog, a pose which Iucounu in his vanity will readily accept. Next we will need an article of confusion, to give us a range of options from which to choose. Tomorrow, therefore, Bazzard will duplicate the scale in fine gold, with a good red hypolite for the node. He will then cement the false scale to your cap in a bed of explosive diambroid.”
“And I am to wear the cap?” asked Cugel.
“Of course! You will then have three strings to your bow. All will be destroyed if Iucounu tries even the least of his tricks. Or you can give Iucounu the cap itself, then go somewhat apart and wait for the blast. Or, if Iucounu discovers the diambroid, other avenues appear. For instance, you can temporize, then make play with the authentic scale.”
