Cugel rubbed his chin. “Propositions and corollaries to the side, I am not anxious to wear a charge of high explosive attached to my cap.”
Archimbaust argued the program, but Cugel remained dubious. Somewhat sulkily Archimbaust relinquished the organs to Vasker who said: “I propose a somewhat similar plan. As before, Cugel, you will enter Almery in an unobtrusive manner. You will stroll quietly by the side of the road with the cloak pulled across your face, using any name but your own. Iucounu will be intrigued, and come out in search of you. At this point your policy will be restrained courtesy. You will politely decline all offers and go your own way. This conduct will surely prompt Iucounu to unwise excess! Then you will act!”
“Just so,” said Cugel. “What if he simply seizes cap and scale, false or real, and preempts it to his own use?”
“That is the virtue of Archimbaust’s scheme,” Vasker pointed out.
Cugel gnawed at his lower lip. “Each plan seems to lack a certain full elegance.”
Archimbaust, taking the organs, spoke with emphasis: “My plan is best! Do you prefer Forlorn Encystment at a depth of forty-five miles to an ounce or two of diambroid?”
Bazzard, who had spoken little, put forward an idea: “We need only use a small quantity of diambroid, and thus allay the worst of Cugel’s fears. Three minims is enough to destroy Iucounu’s hand, arm and shoulder, in the case of improper conduct.”
Vasker said: “This is an excellent compromise! Bazzard, you have a good head on your shoulders! The diambroid, after all, need not come into use. I am sure that Cugel will deal with Iucounu as a cat plays with a mouse.”
Disserl spoke to the same effect: “Show only diffidence! His vanity will then become your ally!”
Pelasias said: “Above all, accept no favors! Or you will find yourself in his obligation, which is like a bottomless pit. At one time —”
A sudden hiss, as the alarm web detected a spy.
“— packet of dried fruits and raisins for your pouch,” droned Pelasias. “The way is long and tiring, especially if you use the Old Ferghaz Way which traces every swing and meander of the River Sune. Why not make for Taun Tassel on the Water’s-gleam?”
“A good plan! The way is long and Forest Da is dark, but I hope to evade even the whisper of notoriety, and all my old friends as well.”
“And your ultimate plans?”
Cugel gave a wistful laugh. “I will build a little hut beside the river and there live out my days. Perhaps I will do a small trade in nuts and wild honey.”
“There is always a market for home-baked loaves,” Bazzard pointed out.
“A good thought! Again, I might search out scraps of old calligraphy, or just give myself to meditation and watch the flow of the river. Such, at least, is my modest hope.”
“It is a pleasant ambition! If only we could help you along your way! But our magic is small; we know a single useful spell: Brassman’s Twelve-fold Bounty, by which a single terce becomes a dozen. We have taught it to Bazzard, that he may never want; perhaps he will share the sleight with you.”
“With pleasure,” said Bazzard. “You will find it a great comfort!”
“That is most kind,” said Cugel. “What with the packet of fruit and nuts, I am well-provided for my journey.”
“Just so! Perhaps you will leave us your cap ornament as a keepsake, so that when we see it we will think of you.”
Cugel shook his head in distress. “Anything else is yours! But I could never part with my lucky talisman!”
“No matter! We will remember you in any case. Bazzard, foster the fire! Tonight is unseasonably cold.”
So went the conversation until the spy departed, whereupon, at Cugel’s request, Bazzard instructed him in that cantrap controlling the Twelve-fold Bounty. Then, upon sudden thought, Bazzard addressed Vasker, now wearing eye, ear and arm. “Another of our small magics which might help Cugel on his way: the Spell of the Tireless Legs.”
Vasker chuckled. “What a thought! Cugel will not care to be visited with a spell customarily reserved for our wheriots! Such a spell does not accord with his dignity.”
“I give dignity second place to expedience,” said Cugel. “What is this spell?”
Bazzard said half-apologetically: “It guards the legs from the fatigue of a long day’s march, and as Vasker indicates, we use it mainly to encourage our wheriots.”
“I will consider the matter,” said Cugel, and there the subject rested.
In the morning Bazzard took Cugel to his work-shop, where, after donning wet gloves, he duplicated the scale in fine gold, with a central node of flaming red hypolite. “Now then,” said Bazzard. “Three minims of diambroid, or perhaps four, and Iucounu’s fate is as good as sealed.”
Cugel watched glumly as Bazzard cemented diambroid to the ornament and attached it to his cap by a secret clasp. “You will find this a great comfort,” said Bazzard.
Cugel gingerly donned the cap. “I see no obvious advantage to this false, if explosive, scale, save for the fact that duplicity is valuable for its own sake.” He folded ‘Spatterlight’ into the flap of a special glove provided by the four wizards.
“I will provide you with a packet of nuts and fruit, and then you will be ready for the road,” said Bazzard. “If you move at a good pace, you should arrive at Taun Tassel on Water’s-gleam before nightfall.”
Cugel said thoughtfully: “As I consider the way ahead, I become ever more favorably inclined to the Spell of the Untiring Legs.”
“It is the work of a few minutes only,” said Bazzard. “Let us consult my fathers.”
The two repaired to the parlour, where Archimbaust consulted an index of spells. Encompassing the syllables with effort, he released the salutary force toward Cugel.
To the amazement of all, the spell struck Cugel’s legs, rebounded, struck again without effect, then clattered away, reverberated from wall to wall, and finally lapsed in a series of small grinding sounds.
The four wizards consulted together at length. Finally Disserl turned to Cugel: “This is a most extraordinary happening! It can only be explained by the fact that you carry ‘Spatterlight’, whose alien force acts as a crust against earthly magic!”
Bazzard cried out in excitement: “Try the Spell of Internal Effervescence upon Cugel; if it proves fruitless, then we shall know the truth!”
“And if the spell is efficacious?” asked Disserl coldly. “Is this your concept of hospitality?”
“My apologies!” said Bazzard in confusion. “I failed to think the matter through.”
