The episode aroused a flurry of wonder and Rhialto for a time became the object of doubt, but along the Sousanese Coast sensation quickly became flat, and before long all was as before.
Meanwhile, in the Valley of the Scaum, Hache-Moncour made capital of Rhialto’s absence. At his suggestion, Ildefonse convened a ‘Conclave of Reverence’, to honor the achievements of the Great Phandaal, the intrepid genius of Grand Motholam who had systematized the control of sandestins. After the group assembled, Hache-Moncour diverted the discussion and guided it by subtle means to the subject of Rhialto and his purported misdeeds.
Hache-Moncour spoke out with vehemence: “Personally, I count Rhialto among my intimates, and I would not think of mentioning his name, except, where possible, for the sake of vindication, and, where impossible, to plead the mitigating circumstances when the inevitable penalties are assessed.”
“That is most generous of you,” said Ildefonse. “Am I then to take it that Rhialto and his conduct is to become a formal topic of discussion?”
“I fail to see why not,” growled Gilgad. “His deeds have been meretricious.”
“Come, come!” cried Hache-Moncour. “Do not skulk and whimper; either make your charges or I, speaking as Rhialto’s defender, will demand a vote of approbation for Rhialto the Marvellous!”
Gilgad leapt to his feet. “What? You accuse me of skulking? Me, Gilgad, who worked ten spells against Keino the Sea-demon?”
“It is only a matter of form,” said Hache-Moncour. “In defending Rhialto, I am obliged to use extravagant terms. If I hurl unforgivable insults or reveal secret disgraces, you must regard them as the words of Rhialto, not those of your comrade Hache-Moncour, who only hopes to exert a moderating influence. Well then: since Gilgad is too cowardly to place a formal complaint, who chooses to do so?”
“Bah!” cried Gilgad furiously. “Even in the role of Rhialto’s spokesman, you use slurs and insults with a certain lewd gusto. To set the record straight, I formally accuse Rhialto of impropriety and the beating of a simiode, and I move that he be called to account.”
Ildefonse suggested: “In the interest of both brevity and elegance, let us allow ‘impropriety’ to include the ‘beating’. Are you agreed?”
Gilgad grudgingly acquiesced to the change.
Ildefonse called out: “Are there seconds to the motion?”
Hache-Moncour looked around the circle of faces. “What a group of pusillanimous nail-biters! If necessary, as Rhialto’s surrogate, I will second the motion myself, if only to defeat with finality this example of childish spite!”
“Silence!” thundered Zilifant. “I second the motion!”
“Very good,” said Ildefonse. “The floor is open for discussion.”
“I move that we dismiss the motion out of hand as a pack of nonsense,” said Hache-Moncour. “Even though Rhialto boasts of his success at the Grand Ball, and laughingly describes Ildefonse’s antics with a fat matron and Byzant’s comic efforts to seduce a raw-boned poetess in a blonde wig.”
“Your motion is denied,” said Ildefonse through gritted teeth. “Let the charges be heard, in full detail!”
“I see that my intercession is useless,” said Hache-Moncour. “I therefore will step aside from my post and voice my own complaints, so that when the final fines and confiscations are levied, I will receive my fair share of the booty.”
Here was a new thought, which occupied the assemblage for several minutes, and some went so far as to inscribe lists of items now owned by Rhialto which might better serve their own needs.
Ao of the Opals spoke ponderously: “Rhialto’s offenses unfortunately are many! They include deeds and attitudes which, while hard to define, are nonetheless as poignant as a knife in the ribs. I include in this category such attributes as avarice, arrogance, and ostentatious vulgarity.”
“The charges would seem to be impalpable,” intoned Ildefonse. “Nevertheless, in justice, they must be reckoned into the final account.”
Zilifant raised his finger dramatically high: “With brutal malice Rhialto destroyed my prized harquisade from Canopus, the last to be found on this moribund world! When I explained as much to Rhialto, first, with mendacity dripping from his tongue, he denied the deed, then declared: ‘Look yonder to Were Wood and its darkling oaks! When the sun goes out they will fare no better and no worse than your alien dendron.’ Is that not a travesty upon ordinary decency?”
Hache-Moncour gave his head a sad shake. “I am at a loss for words. I would render an apology in Rhialto’s name, were I not convinced that Rhialto would make a flippant mockery of my efforts. Still, can you not extend mercy to this misguided man?”
“Certainly,” said Zilifant. “To the precise measure in which he befriended my harquisade. I declare Rhialto guilty of a felony!”
Again Hache-Moncour shook his head. “I find it hard to credit.”
Zilifant swung about in a passion. “Have a care! Even in your quixotic advocacy of this scoundrel, I will not have my veracity assailed!”
“You misunderstood me!” stated Hache-Moncour. “I then spoke for myself, in wonder at Rhialto’s callous acts.”
“Ah, then! We are agreed.”
Others of the group cited grievances which Ildefonse noted upon a bill of particulars. At last all had declared themselves, and Ildefonse, in looking down the list, frowned in perplexity. “Amazing how one like Rhialto could live so long among us and never be exposed! Hache-Moncour, do you have anything more to say?”
“Merely a pro-forma appeal for mercy.”
“The appeal has been heard,” said Ildefonse. “We shall now vote. Those who endorse Rhialto’s conduct and find him blameless, raise their hands.”
Not a hand could be seen.
“Those convinced of Rhialto’s guilt?”
All hands were raised.
Ildefonse cleared his throat. “It now becomes my duty to assess the penalty. I must say that Rhialto’s absence makes our sad task somewhat easier. Are there any suggestions?”
Byzant said: “I feel that each of us, in the order that we sit at the table, starting with myself, shall be numerated. We will then go to Falu and there, in order of number, select among Rhialto’s goods until no one wishes to make a further choice.”
Ao of the Opals concurred. “The idea is essentially sound. But the numeration must be made by lot, with a monitor against all spells of temporal stasis.”
The system suggested by Ao was eventually put into effect, and all repaired to Falu. Frole the major-domo stepped forward and in an authoritative voice inquired what might be the business of so large a company. “You must know that Rhialto is absent! Come again when he can receive you with suitable ceremony.”
Ildefonse began a legalistic declamation but Gilgad, impatient with words, cast a spell of inanition upon Frole, and the magicians, entering Falu, set about enforcing the penalties which had been levied at the conclave.
The irascible Hurtiancz was especially anxious to find Rhialto’s IOUN stones, and sought everywhere, to no avail. A document indited in blue ink on blue paper and cased in a frame of blue gold hung on the wall; certain that he had discovered Rhialto’s secret hiding place, Hurtiancz impatiently tore the document from the wall and threw it aside, to reveal only the vacant wall, and it was Ildefonse himself who discovered the IOUN stones where they hung among the crystals of a chandelier.
