“I don’t know.” He dropped to his knees and began pushing his hands around in the dry, coarse sand. “Would we live with Logan?”
“Logan doesn’t have a house at the moment, so that would be tricky. Also, Logan and I have a lot of things to work out before I would want to live with him.”
“He told me that you used to be mad at him and then he apologized.” He drew a circle all the way around himself. “Couldn’t Dad apologize, then you not be mad at him?”
“He could.” He fucking well could and good luck waiting for that particular corner of hell to freeze over. The man had seen absolutely nothing wrong with telling Biyen he wanted to live here with them and putting it on her to tell Biyen that it was never going to happen. “I’m not really mad at your dad. We think differently and that makes it hard to spend a lot of time together. It’s like how you and Immy and Cooper got along really well, right away, but you don’t always want to play with JayJay, even though he’s right here and wants to play anytime.”
“JayJay only wants to play video games. I like to go outside.”
“Exactly. You guys are different and seeing each other at school feels like enough.”
“But you and Logan are more the same?”
“We have a lot in common, yeah. We have similar values.” Logan would always pay a bill and pull his own weight. She knew that. He treated her as an equal, whereas Nolan treated her like a convenience store.
“Would you marry him?” Biyen asked.
“Honestly? When I was growing up, I was sure that I would marry him someday. Then he went away and I had you and I stopped imagining that.” She wasn’t ready to go there again. The ground was still too soft, the bruises still tender. “For me to marry anyone would be a huge decision that would affect you so I would want your opinion before I did anything like that.”
“I like Logan.” He shrugged. “He’s funny sometimes.”
Sometimes. Sophie would be sure to let him know it was only sometimes.
“Would you guys have a baby?”
“Whoa. Buddy. We are a long way from talking about babies. Why?” She caught the slump in his shoulders. “Do you want a little brother or sister? Babies are a lot of work, you know. They cry and make a mess.”
“I know. Storm cried so much in Vancouver. But she was happy to see me when we went over for the lasagna. She tried to crawl to me, and when I sat on the floor by her, she put her head on me.” His shoulders came up to his ears and he grinned with goofy pleasure.
“She’s a cutie-pie, isn’t she?” Maybe it was time to seriously consider a dog.
“I’m old enough to help you with a baby,” he pointed out. “I don’t want to change one. Not a poopy diaper,” he said firmly. “But I could read to them and play with them. I think you should think about it.”
“Oh, do you?”
“Uh-huh. Then when I go away to college, you would still have someone here. Unless you were married to Logan. I guess that would be okay, too.”
He was such an innocent sometimes, then he turned into Gramps, carrying the wisdom of a lifetime.
“What about Dad?” he asked.
“What about him?” She tensed.
“He doesn’t know where to live because you said we might not stay here.”
“I know, but he is a grown adult who can make his own decisions. It’s okay that he’s talking to you about it. I’m doing the same thing, asking your opinion because it affects you, but you don’t have to fix anything for your dad. I already told him that if he needs some money for rent, I’ll do what I can to help him with that.”
“Okay, but like, I like to see him and usually I like camping, but right now I feel like I need to be at home with you. This is a really sad time for us.”
God, she loved him. Tears welled in her eyes and her lips started quivering, making it hard to speak.
“It really is,” she agreed, mouth wobbling.
“If Logan wants to stay with us, we should let him. He’s really sad, too. But Dad keeps trying to cheer me up. I feel like I have to be happy when I’m with him, even though I’m not.”
“Not everyone knows how to act with someone who is grieving. It’s never easy for anyone. It’s okay to tell your dad you want to have some quiet time in your room, if that’s how you feel, but we do have to talk about one other thing. Now that Gramps is gone, I can’t leave you home all by yourself while I’m at work.”
“Logan said I could help him tomorrow.”
“I know. That’s fine, but if your dad is here, you could spend time with him. Otherwise, what would you think of going to the day camp in Bella Bella?”
“Really? And go on the seabus all by myself?” He perked up with excitement.
“With the other kids who are going, yeah.” Apparently, there was a teenaged chaperone who took them across and made sure they got in the van. “They said you could try it for one or two days to see if you like it.”
“The one with the nature walks and crafts? Yeah, I want to do that.” He nodded.
“Okay. I’ll call tomorrow and set it up.”
“Can we go home now?” He stood and brushed his knees. “I’m starving.”
“Me, too. Let’s go.”
*
It was Sunday. Nolan had caught the ferry north this morning, planning to visit friends in Prince Rupert. Biyen had just left for a playdate. Randy was on call at the marina.
Logan was about to start the dishes but caught Sophie looking at him. Heat rolled straight into his groin.
