“You with me, Jo?”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, jamming her glasses onto the bridge of her nose. “I’m here, sorry. Got lost in thought.”
Felix eyed her for a moment, then seemed to decide not to push it. He redirected his hand to the pencil on the desk. “It was dragonkin, right?”
“Right,” she said. She watched him write the word in precise uppercase letters on the “Race” line. Then she made a decision of her own. “Do you want me to answer your question? About why people do this?”
Felix looked at her with a tenderness Jo hadn’t seen in… well, a long damn time. “Only if it won’t upset you.”
“It won’t,” she assured him.
He put his pencil back down and swiveled to face her, giving her his full attention. The weight of his gaze was like staring into the sun, but he was so earnest she couldn’t look away.
“You like things that are based on reality, right?” she said. “For some people, reality sucks. MnM can be an escape, a safe place. The game has always prided itself on being inclusive. There’s a whole section in chapter one about how MnM worlds don’t have the kinds of stigmas or prejudices around race, gender and sexuality, or disability that our world has. I’ve known so many people who find that incredibly freeing. My friend, Young, discovered they were non-binary because they played a non-binary dwarf in one of my games a few years ago and felt more like themself than they ever had in their life. Can you imagine?”
Jo swallowed the lump in her throat. Felix reached under the desk and pulled out an unopened water bottle from God knows where. She thanked him and paused for a sip.
“Sometimes it’s good and healthy, necessary even, to play out fantasies when the real world tears you down or tells you that you can’t be yourself,” she continued. “I don’t know what your politics are, Felix. But if you’re going to be a GM for a game with a core tenet of inclusivity, you need to know that you can’t question a trans kid or a closeted twenty-something playing a character that they wish they could be in real life.”
Felix shook his head, his mouth slightly open. “I would never.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” she replied.
“Was it like that for you?” he asked, tentative and careful.
Jo smiled to herself. “Not exactly. I’m white and able-bodied, and I’m not queer. In a completely different way, though, I learned what kind of person I want to be through MnM.” She turned to page seven in Core Rules. She read aloud from the text under the “Welcome to the Sibylline Wastes” heading, easily slipping into her narrator’s cadence.
“‘The Sibylline Wastes are in need of heroes. Monstrous creatures ravage the lands. Giants lay waste to crops. Gods kidnap people as servants for their temples. Corrupt rulers levy heavy taxes and oppress their citizens. You (yes, you, adventurer) have a calling to be a hero. To stand up for what is right, even to the point of death. To fight for justice and freedom for all peoples in all lands. To sing on behalf of those who cannot speak up for themselves. Will you take up your calling? Will you be the hero the Sibylline Wastes need?’”
Jo leaned back and blinked away the tears those words always brought to her eyes. Felix was gazing at her as if seeing her for the first time.
“That was written in 1979 when Monsters and Mythology was first created,” she said. “It’s been printed, unchanged, in every single Sibylline Wastes book since then. Even the novels.”
“Wow,” Felix said under his breath.
“I went to a convention once where every gaming session was opened by someone yelling, ‘Will you take up your calling?’ Hundreds of people yelled back, ‘Huzzah!’ I got chills every time. People have tattoos of that line. I’ve got one that says, ‘yes, you, adventurer’ to remind myself that it’s my job to keep fighting the good fight every damn day. That it’s possible to win with nothing but unshakeable belief and a good group of allies.”
There was a heavy pause. Felix and Jo stared at each other until Jo’s cheeks warmed.
Then he said, “I get it.”
Jo took a long drink of water, tipping her head back so Felix wouldn’t see the fresh tears that had gathered in her eyes at those words. Perhaps he saw them anyway, because he chose that moment to excuse himself to the bathroom. She composed herself and checked the time on her phone, disappointed to see that their hour was nearly over. While she waited for Felix, she texted Aida.
Jo
Not dead yet. Will text again when we’re done, but this guy actually has some emotional intelligence.
Aida
Still locked in with a stranger, dumbass
Jo
Can you say something about boundaries? I only gave him an hour and it’s almost up but I kind of want to stay?
Aida
I shouldn’t need to say anything about boundaries, because you are LOCKED IN WITH A STRANGER
DUMBASS
But here: Make good choices, which includes keeping the boundaries you set because you are worth taking care of, especially by yourself.
Jo
Does taking care of myself also include jacking off to Bridgerton?
She tucked her phone into her pocket as Felix reentered the lobby. “You need a name for your character,” she declared, attempting to lighten the mood as they wrapped up. “And I swear to God if you suggest ‘Felix,’ I will be furious.”
Felix laughed and leaned his elbows on the counter, his hands clasped together, and his sleeves now rolled up. Jo did an actual, literal double take.
Jesus Christ. Those forearms. Jo had never seen someone with such definition in their forearms before. She could count three individual cords of muscle running up the tops of his arms under dark hair.
“Will you come up with a name for me?” Felix asked.
Jo tore her attention away from her momentary muscular fixation to look him in the eye. “I will do no such thing. Your character’s name should be something you like, since the GM will use it to refer to you during games. Even pre-generated character sheets have blank names so the player can come up with their own.”
“Do you have any suggestions, then? I don’t know what a dragon’s name should sound like, but I’m guessing ‘Steve’ or ‘Debra’ would be a bad choice.”
