"And you think he brought her back on his own?" I snapped.
Her eyes turned to Kanik. "Was this your idea or something?"
"Maybe it was mine," I said before Kanik had the chance to answer. "Did you ever think of that, Les? Maybe Zasen hated the idea. Maybe Kanik tried to talk me out of it. But if we're bringing up history, then fine. Let's do that. I'm the lucky one here. I'm the pampered little bitch who lived north of the market. I'm the one who wasn't hurt at all by the Mole attacks, but the first fucking thing you do is get pissed off at Zasen?"
"Because she knows he's the holdout," Kanik said softly. "He's the one who always agreed with her about Moles - until now."
"No, I don't think that's what this is really about," I said, keeping my eyes on the woman. Pushing my own beer to the side, I leaned over next to it and put our faces even closer together. "Lessa, would you honestly be happy spending the rest of your life with the two of us? Knowing we'd get jealous if you screwed someone else? Dealing with us always worrying about where you went in case something bad happened? Refusing to back down when you tell us how something's gonna go?"
"But relationships take work," she told me.
I simply stared at her for a little too long. "They also aren't guaranteed to succeed," I pointed out. "Just because we've always been friends doesn't mean we're guaranteed to turn into the perfect little family with exactly three-point-four children."
"Plus, it would be pretty hard to have children with just the three of you," Kanik grumbled. "You'd need a tailless woman."
"There's that," I agreed. "Lessa, let's be honest with each other. Are you more upset that Zasen is buying clothes for an orin woman, or is it merely the fact that you finally realized we're not going to happen?"
"Rymar..." she said softly.
I shook my head. "Right now, some poorly thought-out teenage fantasy is coming undone around you. One based on mutual hatred of the enemy instead of attraction for each other. Because - be honest, Les. If you were really that into Zasen, or me, or even Kanik here, then you wouldn't always be chasing other men, right? We'd be spending a lot more time together, just to be together. I mean, don't get me wrong, the sex is great..." I tilted my head, daring her to deny it. "...But you're the one who said it was just sex. Nothing permanent, you told us. No relationship."
"Well, but we're all still young," she tried.
I gave her a tired look. "That's the line you're going with? Lessa, you're jealous. You thought you'd always have us as a fallback plan, and it never dawned on you that anyone else would put up with Zasen's shit, right? I'm not going to settle down, so you didn't have to either. You and Kanik?"
"Not happening," Kanik mumbled.
She thrust a hand at him. "Mutual. No offense."
"None taken," he assured her. "You'd break me."
She huffed out a single laugh. "But what does that have to do with this Mole, Rymar?"
I just smiled. "Because to you, the girl is competition. If her hair was any other color, would your reaction be any different?"
She opened her mouth to reply, closed it, then sighed. "No, probably not."
So I reached across the counter to clasp her arm. "And so you know, there's nothing there. I'm not saying there can't be, or won't be, or anything else. But right now, Ayla is merely a refugee who is living with us to learn how to survive in Lorsa. She's scared, she's confused, and she's trying to make sure she tells Zasen everything she can about what happens inside the Mole base."
"Oh."
I nodded, realizing I was finally getting through to her. "But you and I both know that's not why you're really pissed. I mean, you probably fooled Kanik, but I know you better than that, Lessa. What you were hoping for was a dream. Not a reality, and not something you even want, but you wanted to keep that option there in case you ever needed it. A fallback plan, of sorts, but that's not what friends are supposed to be."
This time, when she lifted her glass, her drink was a much bigger one. "Well, you and Zasen are two of the best-looking men our age."
"And?" I pressed.
"Fine!" Lessa threw both of her hands in the air, clearly admitting defeat. "But do you really blame me? You can't tell me there's not a little part of you, Rymar, that doesn't hope Tasult will one day walk into town like nothing ever happened. To see him alive, perfectly fine, and hear he'd just gotten amnesia out in the woods and lived with the Reapers for a bit."
"What's your point?" I asked, because she wasn't wrong.
"That it's nice to always have a little 'what if' sitting in the back of your head," she said. "And that maybe, just maybe, it hurts a little to see it all crumbling right before my eyes. And for a Mole? Really? A fucking Mole? They ruin everything around them!"
I wasn't about to let Lessa get on this tangent again, not after I'd already made it clear Ayla wasn't with Zasen like that. The woman could latch onto a conspiracy theory and hang onto it for years, if she wanted to. So, that meant it was time to get her mind on a different track.
"What do you think it would be like to be a woman living with those Mole men?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
So I decided to rephrase that. "Knowing what you know about the Moles - who are always male - what do you think it would be like to be trapped underground with them, unable to leave, and forced to do everything they wanted?"
Lessa's mouth fell open, her eyes went wide, and she looked over at Kanik. "Bad?"
He nodded slowly. "She thinks touching at all is 'improper.'"
"Anything a woman desires seems to be 'improper,'" I clarified. "Lessa, I gave that girl a handful of purple coneflowers after she was assaulted on the street, and I thought she was going to crawl out of her skin. She's terrified of men."
"But she's still a Mole," Lessa muttered as if that line was the best defense she had.
I reached over and nudged her chin up, forcing her to look at me. "In the compound, they eat fungus, tubers, and meat, or some shit. Not potatoes, mushrooms, and venison. The women don't even know there are different types of fungus, or tubers, or meat. They believe the surface of the world is unlivable and covered in the Devil's demons."
"So, brainwashed," Lessa grumbled.
"And seriously screwed over," Kanik added.
That had Lessa's immediate attention. "What do you mean?"
I decided to answer that as well. "Married within a week of turning twenty. They don't get to pick their husband, but rather have one assigned to them. All that matters is they aren't related. Ayla was 'lucky' enough to get a man in his fifties. One who slapped her. And that was their first meeting."
