“Is that why you’re sitting over here by yourself?” he asked. “Because you’re sad and you don’t want any of the other warriors to see you mourning the loss of your friends?”

She snapped a twig in half and threw it into the fire, shrugging. With her legs extended straight out in front of her, heels dug into the ground, she began to wiggle her feet nervously. “I feel so… ugh,” she said.

Max gently grabbed her by the forearm, “It’s normal to be sad for the people in your life who have died.”

“Not for my people,” she retorted. “If they see me like this, they’ll think I’m weak and no longer fit to lead.”

“Britt listen,” Max said moving his grip down and taking her hand. She looked surprised, seeming to just then notice that he was touching her. She looked at his hand and then at him. “Everyone grieves. And everyone does it in a different way. You can’t let anyone tell you how to feel, because each person handles it differently. You may be crying and feeling sad while someone else is laughing because they’re remembering something happy about that person. Then five minutes later they will be in tears and you will be laughing about something funny that you remember happening with the lost person. It’s normal to feel the way you’re feeling now.”

Britt shifted her gaze back into the fire and asked, “You’ve lost people close to you before?”

Max nodded, “Yes, more times than I’m comfortable with. And each time I felt something different. When it was the person closest to me, I was too young to understand it. The more I wanted to cry and weep along with everyone else, the more I couldn’t. People looked at me like they thought I didn’t care. I was just as sad as anyone else, but for some reason, I couldn’t shed tears.”

“That’s kind of like what’s happening to me now, except the opposite,” Britt said wiping away more tears. “I’m the one who can’t stop crying and they’re all happy and wondering what is wrong with me that I can’t join them.”

“Don’t worry about what other people are thinking now. Everyone knows you’re a good Captain and a strong warrior. I would gladly sail alongside you any day,” Max said. He realized he was still holding her hand and let it go.

Britt smiled and turned her upper body to face him, then gave him a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered through her sniffles.

For a moment he was taken by surprise by her show of affection, then he embraced it and hugged her back. “Well, I hope that’s the last time I have to be serious for a while,” he said when they pulled away from each other’s embrace.

“It’s not like you to say such wise things,” Britt said. “You usually crack jokes, not words of wisdom.”

“Yeah, I know,” he shivered and brushed his arms and legs as though he was trying to get something off his body.

“What’re you doing?” Britt asked.

“Trying to get all this serious off me,” he said smiling at her.

She laughed, “Did you mean it when you said you’d sail with me any day?”

Max stopped wiggling around, “Of course. You’re a great Captain.”

“Well I am in need of more warriors after that battle…” she said raising her eyebrows and cracking a thin smile.

Max looked up and to the left thinking for a moment about what it would be like and answered, “Can I bring my brother, Bo?” When she nodded, Max added, “Well you know, I’m not one to turn down an adventure.”

She hugged him again and he laughed, holding her friendly embrace. “Good, I need more people like you in my life,” she said.

When Maija and Thomas returned, Kirsten and Bo were sitting close to one another near the fire, Kirsten with her legs crossed, and Bo with his forearms wrapped around his knees. They had already begun preparing a meal for everyone.

“Where’s Max?” Bo asked, seeing his brother wasn’t with them.

“He went to talk to someone in camp, I guess,” Thomas said taking the bowl Kirsten had handed him.

When the four of them had almost finished their rice and root vegetable medley, Maija asked, “I wonder if Anders and Zahara have found the dragons and riders they’re looking for?”

Through a mouthful of food, Thomas said, “I bet they’ll find them quick enough. Anders is an excellent tracker. My guess is they’ll be back by morning.”

Kirsten put her hand on Maija’s shoulder and said comfortingly, “They’ll be okay; Anders always comes back.”

Maija felt slightly relieved by the sentiment but had a strange feeling in her stomach about it.

Later that night after Max returned and the others were asleep, Maija sat alone by the campfire. She listened to the many sounds of festivities coming from the camp thinking it strange that the elves didn’t make as much noise as the Rollo Island warriors. She strained her ears, but couldn’t hear anyone clearly. She found it troubling that her previously exceptional hearing had suddenly returned to that of a normal human. She fiddled nervously as she tried to distract her mind from worry. As she ventured to her tent and lay down, Maija couldn’t help feeling horrified that Anders would come across something dangerous during his search.

Chapter 20

A Trace of Merglan’s Wrath

Anders turned his head slightly, looking down toward the valley floor as Zahara climbed higher into the air, flapping her enormous wings. He could see their camp shrinking as they quickly moved east along the Eastland Mountain Front. Nadir soon became a dark speck moving swiftly across the valley floor, chasing Zahara’s shadow as she flew overhead. Anders strained his neck to catch one last glimpse of the camp and thought he could just make out people gathering near the camp’s center.

Wondering why the Rolloans would be gathering led Anders to one conclusion: They must have brought Jorgen’s body back for a proper Rolloan funeral.

Turning back to face the rushing wind, Anders dipped his chin slightly, the air pushing his hair back in the breeze as they flew. When remembering the horrific way in which the Rolloan chief’s life had come to a sudden end, Anders suddenly felt an unexpected swelling of emotion. He found that tilting his head back allowed the cool air to dry his welling eyes. The evening air bit at his cheeks, reddening and stinging his exposed skin. This chilling sensation brought his focus back to the task at hand; they had to find the two dragonriders who’d flown to their aid earlier and not returned after confronting Merglan.

Suddenly Anders became acutely aware that Zahara had been observing his string of waffling emotions. Embarrassed by exposing this vulnerability, he quickly created a distraction, remarking, Isn’t the sunset gorgeous from up here?

I guess. It’s just like every other one I’ve seen, she said through their connected minds.

Not for me, he replied. The realization that very few people in the world had been so lucky to see the sunset from the back of a dragon mid-flight hit him like a ton of bricks. After all the chaos and madness we’ve seen, how crazy is it that I can enjoy something so constant and fundamental as the setting sun?

Your mind is different from most, that’s why. And that’s why I was drawn to you in the first place. There’s a natural goodness in you, something that not many people have, she told him.

Anders didn’t reply and they remained silent, pondering the past several days’ events until the last remaining glimmers of the sun faded beyond the horizon. Darkness consumed them and the cold that came with it sent shivers through Anders as he tried to huddle in closer to Zahara’s neck, hoping her head would provide a windbreak, but his efforts proved useless. Within a matter of minutes after the darkening night surrounded them, they reached the spot along the Eastland Mountains where Merglan and his dragon had intercepted the elves on their way to assist the Rollo Island warriors and Anders’ small crew.

Reminding them that he was along on the flight, Ivan said, We should begin searching with our minds for the dragons and their riders, but be careful. Merglan and his dragon could be close.

Anders hesitated, he didn’t know how to search with his mind, as Ivan suggested. It was too dark for him to see very far by sight, and he wasn’t sure what Ivan meant by searching with his mind.

“How do I do that?” Anders asked aloud over his shoulder to the old rider sitting behind him on Zahara’s back.

“I thought you’d done this by now when you were using magic during the battle?” he asked.

“I’m not really sure what I did during the battle,” Anders answered “For everything other than the basic healing spells you showed us, I’ve just been acting on instincts. I don’t understand how to control this power yet.”

“I’m sorry. It’s been so long since I learned how to control my powers. Even when I began, I had training before I formed my bond with Jazzmaryth.”

Anders’ curiosity was piqued at the mention of Ivan’s dragon, “That’s the first time you’ve mentioned your dragon’s name.”

“Oh,” Ivan said, fumbling for new words like a youngster caught telling a lie.

“I like that name,” Anders said.

Me too, Zahara added. It’s regal.

Clearing his throat, Ivan continued aloud, “In order to use the magical energy in your body through a focused channel, you must first void your mind of all thoughts. It is hard to do at first, especially with so many distractions like mourning for lost ones during a battle or flying on the back of your dragon for the first time, but there are a few tricks I know that helped me all those years ago when I was training. I like to close my eyes and imagine that I’m standing alone on a dark plain. There’s nothing on the dark plain, not even ground under my feet, just a sea of darkness. Once I’m alone with nothing around to distract me, then I can begin to use my mind to reach out and search. Try it, perhaps it will help you.”

Anders was doubtful that this exercise would work, but he didn’t know any better way to begin, so he closed his eyes and attempted to picture himself in total darkness. Instead of a dark plain, Anders found himself standing outside his home back at Highborn Bay. The salty scent of the bay filled his nostrils as he stood alone beside the large oak tree in front of their house. He’d spent many nights staring up at the starry sky in this very spot. Clanging noises sounded behind him – Kirsten and Theodor cooking in the kitchen. He knew this was a fabrication of his memory and attempted to make them disappear. Darkness, you’re in total darkness, he told himself. The harder he tried to imagine himself alone, the more the memories of times spent on the familiar farm kept forcing their way into his head.